Well, what are some of the things they like? 他们平常喜欢些什么呢？

They used to like going to the Mumbai Symphony, but last year my mom thought they were phoning it in.  他们以前喜欢去听孟买交响乐团。去年时，我妈觉得他们只是在瞎糊弄。

Then my dad said based on their love life, she should know about phoning it in. 我爸说从性生活来看，我妈的确是很懂"瞎糊弄"。

He said that to her? - Well, they weren't speaking at the time, so he had a servant say it to her. 你爸这么跟你妈说话啊？-当时他俩在冷战，所以他让下人去跟她说的。

Oh, maybe I could make a gift for them. I know how much you guys love the coasters I made for you. 或许我能给他俩亲手做个礼物。我知道你们俩非常喜欢我给你们做的杯垫。

They're yours in the divorce. 如果离婚了，杯垫归你。

Hey. What're you working on? 在研究什么呢？

Remember when I said if you went through with your surgery, there was a one-in-700,000 chance of dying? 还记得我跟你说，如果你去做手术你有70万分之1的几率死亡吗？

Yeah...? 然后呢？

Well, I've been crunching the numbers, and so far, I've gotten your probability of death all the way to a sphincter-tightening one in 300. 我研究了数据，目前我已经把你做手术的死亡率提高到了让菊花一紧的300分之1了。

Great timing. My "Check sphincter" light just went on. 说得真是时候。我的"检查菊花"灯刚好亮了呢。

Leonard, what if you have an allergic reaction to the surgeon's latex gloves? -I'm not allergic to latex. 莱纳德，要是你对外科医生的乳胶手套产生过敏反应怎么办？-我对乳胶不过敏。

Well, then why don't you wear the rubber gloves I bought for you to do the dishes? 那你为什么不戴我给你买的洗碗用橡胶手套？

For the same reason I don't wear the apron or the hair net. 跟我不穿围裙不戴发网的理由一样。

Fine. What about epilepsy? 好吧。那癫痫呢？

I don't have epilepsy, either. 我也没有癫痫。

You don't, but the surgeon might, hmm? And your carotid artery is just one shaky scalpel away from becoming the dancing fountain at Disneyland. 你是没有，但手术医生可能有啊。只有手术刀稍微拿不稳，你的颈动脉就立刻变成迪士尼的跳舞喷泉。

Sheldon, do you realize that driving is riskier than surgery? 谢尔顿，你知道开车比做手术更危险吗？

I do. I have the drive to the hospital right here.  我知道。开车去医院的命丧几率在这呢。

That is if you make it to the car without falling down the stairs. And don't expect me to carry you, I do that enough in life. 前提是你能顺利上车，没有掉下楼梯摔死。别指望我罩你，我平常够罩着你了。