美国国家公共电台 NPR 20 Years Later, Sibling Columbine Survivors Reflect（在线收听）

STEVE INSKEEP, HOST:

And it's Friday, which is when we hear from StoryCorps. Tomorrow marks 20 years since Columbine, the school shooting, at the time, the deadliest school shooting on record. On April 20, 1999, two students opened fire at a high school in Littleton, Colo., killing 13 people and themselves.

Sophomore Lauren Cartaya escaped from the school quickly that morning, but her older brother Zach was stuck for three hours, hiding in a classroom. The siblings came to StoryCorps to recall that day.

ZACH CARTAYA: When you pile 60 17-year-olds together in a small space, you're going to go through what everybody would expect - fear and tears and prayers. But as the minutes drag into hours, you start to become a 17-year-old again, whether you like it or not. One of my friends was laughing and scared that she was going to die a virgin. A girl peed in Mr. Andres' (ph) thermos, and we never told him about it. We popped the ceiling tiles off, and we signed it in case we die. There was so much going on. I don't remember a lot of getting home.

LAUREN CARTAYA: I remember standing outside, waiting for you. You walked right by me like I was a ghost.

Z CARTAYA: I was a ghost. I was just in a state of shock.

L CARTAYA: That summer after Columbine happened, I played softball nonstop. And I was so angry. I chewed so much bubble gum, I had 10 cavities.

Z CARTAYA: There's no real good way to express your anger. And it comes out in the weirdest places. I remember we would smoke cigarettes and pot in the men's room. And a Jefferson County police officer walked in. And he's like, are you smoking pot? And we looked at him dead-eyed and said, what the [expletive] are you going to do about it? And he pivoted and walked out the door.

L CARTAYA: Yeah. You know, after the shooting, I definitely blocked out a lot of life before that.

Z CARTAYA: It eliminated most of that year for me, that academic year.

L CARTAYA: Yeah. I remember my 16th birthday - like, going and getting my driver's license. But that's it. I can't tell you anything that happened up until the time that I sat down, and I started taking a test and heard people screaming. And this year, it's just - I have these dreams that are so vivid of me, you know, having to tell parents that their kids aren't coming out while I'm holding mine.

Z CARTAYA: It never goes away.

L CARTAYA: Never.

Z CARTAYA: But recovery is a marathon and not a race. And you just have to keep running it. So over 20 years, I had to let my anger go because if you don't let that anger go, it's going to consume you. And it's consumed way too many of us.

L CARTAYA: Yeah. And it's always good to have a brother that can relate. You definitely have given me strength to heal.

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INSKEEP: That was Zach and Lauren Cartaya, survivors of the Columbine school shooting, which took place 20 years ago tomorrow. They sat for StoryCorps in Littleton, Colo. The interview will be archived, along with hundreds of thousands of others, at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress.