PBS高端访谈:科伦拜校园事件伤痛远未消除（在线收听）

JUDY WOODRUFF: With the 20th anniversary of the Columbine High School massacre just a few away, that school and hundreds of other Denver schools were closed today due to credible threats by an 18-year-old woman. Today, law enforcement officials say the woman was found dead from an apparent suicide. In a moment, Lisa Desjardins will speak with two people whose lives were profoundly altered by the tragedy. But, first, we hear from some survivors directly. In the upcoming Rocky Mountain PBS documentary Ripples of Columbine, it is clear that many are still struggling with physical and emotional scars.

WOMAN: I was a senior when Columbine happened. I saw one of my friends die and everyone else shot around me.

HEATHER MARTIN, Columbine High School Shooting Survivor: My name is Heather Martin. And I was a senior in 1999. I was barricaded in the choir office. There were 60 of us in there for about three hours.

FRANK DEANGELIS, Former Principal, Columbine High School: I'm Frank DeAngelis, former principal of Columbine High School.

MAKAI HALL, Columbine High School Shooting Survivor: My name is Makai Hall. I was in the Columbine High School Library.

LANCE KIRKLIN, Columbine High School Shooting Survivor: My name is Lance Kirklin. I was shot five times at Columbine High school. Somewhere around 35 surgeries that first year or two years. Feels like every other month, I was having something done. Just got to a point in 2001 where I found out that I was going to be a dad and was trying to pay my own bills and move out on my own. It was just too much at that time mentally and physically to just keep doing surgeries. So I stopped.

WOMAN: I don't remember freshman. I don't remember my sophomore year. I don't remember my junior year. I don't remember graduating, barely. I remember Columbine. I mean, there definitely is survivor guilt, which I felt, I still feel. It's palpable. It's real. Why didn't I put myself in front of the gun instead? Why didn't I roll my body over Lauren? Why didn't I pull Gina out with me? It's, it was more of like a punishment, essentially, because I wasn't injured. I was really angry at God, really upset. Just why was I still alive? Why didn't I get hurt? Why am I still here?

MAKAI HALL: I got into this cycle where it was like it was on repeat, and all I could think about was how bad it was for me, and how horrifying it was. The images of the shooting were pretty clear and the violence of it, seeing people maimed and hurt and dead. Those things kind of, it took a while for them to leave. I was very depressed, very angry, couldn't get over the fact that I had gone through something, and I felt the world owed me something.

朱迪·伍德拉夫：再过几天就是杰佛逊郡科伦拜中学屠杀事件的20周年纪念日，这所学校和丹佛的其他学校今天都暂停上课，因为一位18岁女性受到了真实的威胁。今天，一些执法人员表示，这位女性显然是自杀身亡的。我台记者丽萨·德雅尔丹迅速采访了2位可能因为这场悲剧而受到深重影响的人。不过，在那之前，我们先听一下几位幸存者的心声。在我台即将播出的洛矶山纪录片《科伦拜中学事件》中，显然很多人都依然在深陷身体和心理的创痛。

女：我读高年级的时候，科百伦中学发生了屠杀事件。我亲眼看到一个朋友死去，而我身边是子弹穿梭。

希瑟·马丁，科伦拜中学屠杀事件幸存者：我叫希瑟·马丁。1999年的时候，我读高年级。那一年，我在唱诗班里遭到了堵截。我们60名学生在那里待了近3个小时。

弗兰克·迪安吉利斯，科伦拜中学前校长：我是弗兰克·迪安吉利斯，这所学校的前校长。

霍尔，科伦拜中学屠杀事件幸存者：我是霍尔。出事儿的时候，我在学校的图书管里。

兰斯·柯克林，科伦拜中学屠杀事件幸存者：我是兰斯·柯克林。当时我在学校身负五枪。大概前一两年里，有做了大概35次手术。我每隔一个月，我就要做手术。就这样，时间到了2001年，那时候我得知妻子怀孕了，我必须要承担起家里财务的胆子，走出曾经的阴霾。如果继续做手术，我的身心都难以负重，所以我决定暂停手术。

女：我4年的时间一晃而过，我却没留下什么记忆。但我记得科伦拜中学。它留给我一种来自幸存者的愧疚感，这种感觉我存留至今，特别明显，特别真实。我为什么没有挡在前面呢？我为什么没有用身体护住劳伦呢？为什么没有拉吉娜一起出来呢？或者更像是对我的一种惩罚，因为我没有受伤。我对上帝生气，我感到不安。为什么我还活着？为什么我没受伤？为什么我还能好好地站在这里？

霍尔：我进入了这样的循环，就像是一种死循环。我脑海里只有痛苦和恐惧。枪击和暴力的场面很清晰，我看到有人残废、受伤甚至死去。这些画面一时半会很难抹去。我很低落、很愤怒，因为我无法过一个坎儿，那就是我活下来了，总觉得这世界亏欠了我什么。