PBS高端访谈:我们本没有什么中年危机(在线收听

JUDY WOODRUFF: Researchers have found that satisfaction with life drops in our late 30s and bottoms out in our 40s, rising steadily, before reaching a peak in our 70s. You can call it the grandkid effect maybe? Well, despite these disparities, tonight, in Jonathan Rauch's humble opinion, there is no such thing as a midlife crisis.

JONATHAN RAUCH, Author: Writing a book on age and happiness, I kept feeling a jolt, like deja vu. I would be interviewing middle-aged men and women, but they had a secret. They expressed embarrassment about how they felt, often shame. But they kept it to themselves. I know this territory. We gay Americans call it the closet. I lived in one for 25 years. It was a lonely, sad, painful place. Now here I am, hearing the same music, but with different words. This time, the people I hear it from are not hiding their sexuality. They are hiding their midlife slump. Recent research by economists, psychologists, and even in brain scans shows that age is not a neutral emotional backdrop. Feeling satisfied and grateful is easiest in the early and late decades of life, and harder in the middle. Midlife dissatisfaction seems to be a natural and normal transition, as our values change and our brains develop. It appears we have evolved to chase success and status in youth. In late adulthood, we shift our priorities toward community and connection. In between comes a sometimes rocky emotional reboot. Something pretty fundamental must be going on, because a similar pattern has been found in chimps and orangutans. Yet we call it a crisis, which usually it isn't. For men, we mock it with stereotypes of sports cars and bimbos. For women, we trivialize it as horror about wrinkles. We medicalize it as depression, when it's really dissatisfaction. We dismiss it as a First World problem. No one wants to be a punchline, a cliche, a basket case. So people hide their feelings and push through without support. And isolation only makes matters worse. If you're in a midlife slump, don't let yourself be isolated or ashamed. You're normal. If you know someone in a midlife slump, treat them as normal. Don't panic. Don't mock. Accept and support. Homosexuality is not wrong or harmful, but closeting it is. Midlife malaise isn't wrong or harmful, but closeting it is. Each of us right now can crack the closet door open a bit more for ourselves and someone we care about. Start by talking about midlife transition, not midlife crisis. It can do a world of healing.

JUDY WOODRUFF: Jonathan Rauch.

朱蒂·伍德拉夫:研究人员发现,我们对生活的满意度,在30多岁时会下降,40多岁时会触底,而后则稳步提升,直至70多岁时达到峰值。也许你会称这种现象为“老小孩效应”?尽管如此,今晚,乔纳森·劳奇将在《管见所及》栏目,就中年危机根本不存在一事,分享自己的观点。

乔纳森·劳奇,作者:写一本关于年龄与幸福的书,我一直感到颇为震惊,似曾相识。我会采访中年男女,但他们有一个秘密。他们对自己的感受感到难堪,常常感到羞愧。但他们对此一直保密。我知道这个事情。我们美国同性恋人把它叫做壁橱。我在其中生活了25年。那是一个孤独、悲伤、痛苦的地方。现在我在这里,听着同样的音乐,但说着不同话。这一次,对我讲话的人,并没有隐藏他们的性别。他们隐藏的是中年衰退。最近,经济学家、心理学家的最新研究,甚至脑部扫描都表明年龄并非一个中性的情感背景。在我们早年和晚年的生活中,感到满足和感激是最容易的,而在中年则较难。中年的不满足似乎是一种自然的、正常的转变,因为我们的价值观变了,我们的大脑发育了。年轻时我们似乎开始追名逐利。在晚年,我们则把优先权转向了社区与联系。在这两者之间,有时会出现一些情绪上的重启。一些非常基本的事情必须继续,因为在黑猩猩和红毛猩猩中,我们已经发现了类似的模式。然而我们称之为危机,通常不是这样。对于男人来说,我们用对跑车和妓女的刻板印象来嘲弄它。对女人来说,我们把它看作是对皱纹的恐惧。我们把它医学化为抑郁,然而它并非真正的不满足。这不是第一世界的问题。没有人希望成为别人的笑柄,或是一个老套的人,或是一个神经紧张的人。所以人们隐藏自己的感情,自己独自承受。孤立只会使事情变得更糟。如果你正处于中年衰退,不要让自己孤立,也不要感到羞愧。你是正常的。如果你知道有人正处于中年衰退之中,那么就把他们当作正常人看待。不要惊慌。不要嘲笑。接受和支持。同性恋本身不是错误,也没有害处,但将它隐藏起来就是了。中年衰退本身不是错误,也没有害处,但将它隐藏起来就是了。我们每个人现在都可以将壁橱门开大一点,为我们自己以及我们所关心的人。从谈论中年过渡开始,而不是中年危机。它可以成为一个疗愈的世界。

朱蒂·伍德拉夫:乔纳森·劳奇。

  原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/lesson/pbs/pbsjk/503395.html