2020年经济学人 前红色高棉监狱长杜赫(4)（在线收听）

His nom de guerre, Duch, meant the schoolboy who stood up when his master asked him to. He may have hated the prison work, but he faithfully repeated the slogans. “Our party makes absolutely no mistakes.” “Angkar knows who is good and who is bad.” They did not quite smother the rising fear that his perpetual system might swallow him, too. Was he sorry? In 1999, when a journalist found him, he wanted to talk. By then he had become a Christian, another ideology in which he could immerse himself. He knew about sins and forgiveness now.

他的假名杜赫是指那个在主人要求时就站起来的学生。他可能讨厌监狱工作，但他忠实地重复了口号。“我们的党绝对不会犯错。“柬共知道谁是好人，谁是坏人。”他们并没有完全消除心中升起的恐惧，担心他那永久的系统也会把他吞没。他感到抱歉吗？1999年，当一个记者找到他时，他想和他谈谈。那时他已经成为一名基督徒，这是另一种他可以沉浸其中的意识形态。杜赫现在知道了罪恶和宽恕。

Occasionally he shed tears. He was the first high Khmer Rouge official to go on trial, in 2009. There, often dressed in pure white, his soft voice demanding exact dates and transcripts, he explained himself. But what he said one day he might retract the next. He played with truth, as he had done before. Uniquely among Khmer Rouge leaders, he accepted responsibility for his actions at S-21. But his superiors had given the orders, so he was bound to obey. And he hoped, having been useful, that he might be released. He was not. In 2012 his original sentence of 35 years for torture, murder and crimes against humanity was extended to life.

他偶尔会流泪。2009年，他成为第一个接受审判的红色高棉高级官员。在那里，他常常穿着纯白的衣服，用他柔和的声音要求对方说出确切的日期和笔录，然后交代罪行。但他今天说的话，可能第二天就会收回。他像以前一样玩弄真相。在红色高棉领导人中，他是独一无二的，他为自己在S-21监狱的行为承担了责任。但是他的上司下达了命令，所以他必须服从。他曾发挥作用，希望自己可以被释放。结果并没有。2012年，他最初因酷刑、谋杀和反人类罪被判35年徒刑，后来被延长至终身监禁。

He was not surprised, or did not let it show. He had learned young the most pertinent of Khmer Rouge mottoes for him, “Extinguish your heart.” And he had not thrown off the motivations of those days. Given the chance, he would discuss Marxism for hours. He clung tightly, too, to his nom de guerre. “Kaing Guek Eav” was the quiet teacher’s name he could have reverted to. But “Duch” was still who he was, the diligent boy who pleased his master. And wrote daily, for years, above that name, “Smash.” “Keep.” “Grind to dust.”

杜赫一点也不惊讶，或者说没有表现出来。他年轻时就学会了红色高棉最符合自己的格言：“熄灭你的心。”他没有抛弃那些日子的动力。如果有机会，他会花好几个小时讨论马克思主义。他也紧抓着自己的假名不放。“康克由”是他可以回到那个安静的老师的名字。但“杜赫”仍然是他自己，那个勤快、讨主人喜欢的男孩。多年来，每天都在这个名字上写下“粉碎”。”“保持。“化为尘土。”