读者文摘:搞笑趣事两则（在线收听）

It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, "Where are you from?"

那是在基础训练时期，我坐在理发椅上，为头发即将被剪掉而哀叹时，理发师问我：“你来自哪里？”

"St. Louis," I grumbled."Hey, I'm from St. Louis too!" he said.

我喃喃地说，“圣路易斯。”“我也来自圣路易斯！”他说。

He then asked conspiratorially, "Do you want to keep your sideburns?" I perked up. "Sure!"

然后他阴谋地问道：“你想留着鬓角吗？”我活跃起来了。“当然！”

With that, he revved up the razor, clipped off my sideburns, and gave them to me.

说着，他加快了剃刀的速度，刮掉了我的鬓角，递给了我。

As I left the barbershop with sideburns in hand, I heard him ask his next victim, "Where are you from?"

当我手捧鬓角离开理发店时，我听到他问下一个受害者：“你来自哪里？”

"Chicago." "Hey, I'm from Chicago too!"

“芝加哥。”“嘿，我也来自芝加哥！”

During KP duty, my sergeant ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that night's dinner.

在做帮厨值勤期间，我的中士命令我为那天晚上的晚餐准备100加仑的汤。

When I told him I had no clue how to make soup, he handed me a cook-book and instructed, "Follow the directions carefully."

当我告诉他我不知道怎么做汤的时候，他递给我一本烹饪书，并告诉我：“认真按照说明做。”

Not long after, I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came in, grabbed a spoon, and took a taste.

没过多久，我就炖了一大锅汤。警官走了进来，抓起一把勺子，尝了一口。

"This is really good," he said. "Are you sure you followed the recipe?"

“这真的很好喝，”他说。“你确定你按照食谱做了吗？”