时差N小时:忧虑母亲担心儿子被好朋友带坏（在线收听）

Dear Annie:

When my son was 14, he was friends with "Tim," a boy who drank and did drugs at a young age and who once stole his father's car and took my son joyriding around the neighborhood. I didn't want our son hanging out with Tim after that, but my husband thought the boy should be forgiven and gave our son permission to keep seeing him.

当我儿子14岁的时候，他和一个叫Tim的男孩成了朋友，那是个年纪轻轻就喝酒，吸毒的小子，曾经偷他爸爸的车，带我的儿子去附近兜风。那件事发生以后，我就不想让我的儿子和Tim在一起了，但是我丈夫认为Tim应该得到原谅，并向儿子承诺可以让他继续见Tim。

That was four years ago. Tim, now 17, continued breaking the law and is currently serving time in a juvenile facility for various felony convictions. He will be getting out in a couple of months. I do not want him on my property or hanging out with my son (who does not use the best judgment when he is around Tim), but my husband still believes Tim should be forgiven. Please help.

那是4年前的事了，现在Tim已经17岁了，他不断犯法，因为犯下各种重罪目前在少年监狱关押。我不想让他再带着我儿子鬼混了，他和Tim在一起就不会正确判断。但是我丈夫仍然相信可以原谅Tim。请帮帮我。

— Distraught and Worried

——烦恼又担忧的一位母亲

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Dear Distraught and Worried:

你好，烦恼又担忧的母亲

You can forgive Tim without letting him be an influence on your son. Inform your husband that forgiveness doesn't mean disregarding another's safety. It means you let go of your anger toward the person.

如果Tim没有给你儿子带来坏的影响，你可以原谅他。告诉你的丈夫原谅并不意味着不顾别人的安全。那意味着将你的脾气撒到别人身上。

It is important to discuss your concerns with your son. Calmly explain why you think spending time with Tim is not in his best interests. Tell him you have confidence in his maturity and trust him. Beyond that, have faith that you have raised him right.

和你的儿子一起讨论你的关心是很重要的。平静地解释为什么和Tim呆在一起并不是最好的。告诉你的儿子你相信他的成熟，并信任他。还有，你也相信自己正确地教导了他。