《傲慢与偏见》 第58章(6)(在线收听

Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You shewed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased."

我脑子里总免不了想起一些苦痛的事情,实在不能不想,也不应该不想。我虽然并不主张自私,可是事实上却自私了一辈子。从小时候起,大人就教我,为人处世应该如此这般,却不教我要把脾气改好。他们教我要学这个规矩那个规矩,又让我学会了他们的傲慢自大。不幸我是一个独生子(有好几年,家里只有我一个孩子),从小给父母亲宠坏了。虽然父母本身都是善良人(特别是父亲,完全是一片慈善心肠,和蔼可亲),却纵容我自私自利,傲慢自大,甚至还鼓励我如此,教我如此。他们教我,除了自己家里人以外,不要把任何人放在眼里,教我看不起天下人,至少希望我去鄙薄别人的见识,鄙薄别人的长处,把天下人都看得不如我。从八岁到二十八岁,我都是受的这种教养,好伊丽莎白,亲伊丽莎白,要不是亏了你,我可能到现在还是如此!我哪一点不都是亏了你!你给了我一顿教训,开头我当然受不了,可是我实在受益非浅。你羞辱得我好有道理。当初我向你求婚,以为你一定会答应。多亏你使我明白过来,我既然认定一位小姐值得我去博她欢心,我又一味对她自命不凡,那是万万办不到的。”

"Had you then persuaded yourself that I should?"

“当初你真以为会博得我的欢心吗?”

"Indeed I had. What will you think of my vanity? I believed you to be wishing, expecting my addresses."

“我的确是那样想的。你一定会笑我太自负吧?我当时还以为你在指望着我、等待着我来求婚呢。”

"My manners must have been in fault, but not intentionally, I assure you. I never meant to deceive you, but my spirits might often lead me wrong. How you must have hated me after that evening?"

“那一定是因为我态度不好,可是我告诉你,我并不是故意要那样。我决不是有意欺骗你,可是我往往凭着一时的兴致,以致造成大错,从那天下午起,你一定是非常恨我。”

"Hate you! I was angry perhaps at first, but my anger soon began to take a proper direction."

“恨你!开头我也许很气你,可是过了不久,我便知道究竟应该气谁了。”

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