多功能英语阅读07 The Sign Makers（在线收听）

The Sign Makers

Do the Sign Makers control us? They must have quite a profitable income

and prestige. I wonder if they are the ones down the street with the large

houses. I feel jealous. If I had thought about it when I was younger, I would

have pointed my career that way. The Sign Makers always indicate what to do,

when to do it and where to do it.

I see several signs on the way home today. One says, "Watch for idle

cattle." O.K. and if I see one, what am I supposed to do? I have seen the

same sign for deer and children. There is no phone number to call. I think

they forgot to put in on there.

"Patrolled by Aircraft" is another sign. I relly do feel safer when I see

that sign. I often wonder, "What kind is it?" Is there an F-15 soaring above

to protect me? If someone cuts me off is he going to zoom down and blow the

car off the tarred road? I tend to think, though, it is a Stealth Fighter

because I have never seen it. I wonder if those Sign Makers have a contract

with the U.S Goverment. Does it help the pilots with target practice? Do the

Sign Makers receive a certain mount of money for each car that gets blown off

the road?

I have to disagree with one that instructs me not to "Feed the Bears".

I'm sorry, if a bear wants my lunch, it can have it. What am i going to do?

"No, you big ugly hairy thing, you can't have my loaf." I hate to tell the

Sign Makers, but that bear is much bigger and meaner than I am. It semms the

Sign Makers have seen too many cartoons with Yogi in them.

Another sign casually says "Workmen Ahead." That's O.K., if there are

workmen ahead, I should slow down. Every time I go by, Though, there is no one

working but there is gang of people on the side of the road drinking coffee.

Looks as if it is a social gathering of some kind. Maybe there should be

another sign for those times. "Workman on Break", would probably be erected

more often, it would get much more use. Maybe they should be on the Sign

Makers payroll.

"Slippery When Icy", you really have to love that sign. When I walk to my

car in the morning and fall on my ass, I think I can figure out that it is

slippery. "Watch for Blowing Snow" is another one that fits into that season.

I hate to tell them this but when there is blowing snow, there is no way I

can read the notation on their signs. Tell me, why are those signs out there

in the summer when the mercury thermometer reads one hundred degrees? Isn't

it a paradox?

I have often wondered about the "Stop" signs. Do they get an extra amount

of money for making them a perfect octagon? Is there an underground industry

that cuts them so perfectly? They must have a monopoly in the market and their

business is really flourishing. Why is it that most of the world thinks they

are suggestions anyway? Do they have any influence over the Sign Makers or are

they a subculture of the Sign Makers? Where is the "Go" sign? Is that the one

that says, "Go to your Local Toyota dealer for Big Savings?" If you ask me

they are very confusing. Then there is "Field Sign", how much am I suppose to

give?

This time of year in the United States, the Sign Makers are very busy, so

many bulletin boards are pounded into the ground with big pegs. One will say,

"A Vote for me is a Vote for your Kids." Now, I don't know about you, a great

statesman, senator, or whatsoever, but I do know this is propaganda and I

don't want to be misled. I really don't vote for my kids, they are too young.

Another will say, "He will Lower Taxes." I see so many tax dollars imposed,

it seems to me that he isn't telling the truth. The truth of the matter is

that after the election, the signs are left there. After we decide they

aren't going anywhere, someone gets hired to remove them. Shouldn't the Sign

Makers pay for part of the expense? No, I suppose they are immune from that.

There are even signs tacked on cars these days. I have always thought that

your car is and always should be your sanctuary. I really don't want people

reading my car. I saw one the other day that had two mouse ears on it. On the

side it said, "Let us Eliminate Your Pests." I think maybe they should first

eliminate the car. We really don't need cars driving down the roads that look

like Mickey Mouse. Yes, those Sign Makers have become very creative.

There are signs in multitude everywhere. Some tell me how far I have to

go, others tell me how fast I can go. Some tell me where to shop or where to

go on excursion; still some others urge me to protect the ozone layer and stop

abortion. In retrospect, the handwriting was on the wall, I really should have

become a Sign Maker.