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Well, here I am in the heart of Brighton, where all the interesting and fashionable stores are. It’s raining right now; I think I’ll do some shopping. Maybe I’ll buy some gifts for the people back home. Yeah. And, uh, well, as you can see, I’m without my husband Alan, right at the moment. He’s gone…somewhere. Yeah, well… let’s try this cute little store here. Maybe I can find a nice gift for my mom. Maybe not this one. Let’s try the one next door. No, this isn’t quite her style either. I’m sure I saw a real cute little place back there somewhere… Definitely not that one. Not this one either. Why are all the stores here so strange? And it’s really raining hard now. Gee, I don’t have my umbrella with me; I left it in the hotel. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go back there now, see if Alan’s there. I don’t think he’s gone to Pittsburgh…
So I got to play golf at last! Ok, it’s raining. In fact, it’s raining really hard. But, the way I see it, golf in the rain is better than no golf at all. And also, here I am in England, which is, like, the home of golf. Yeah, it was king somebody-or-other, I dunno, maybe Henry the something-or-other, whatever, who played the first game of golf, way back in the year…15 something-or-other or maybe it was 16. Yeah, well, whatever. I mean. I’m not really an expert on history. But I am an expert on golf. I was a professional golfer for 12 years, in fact. From when I was 21 till when I was 33. I made a good living, too. When I stopped playing I had nearly a million bucks. Then I put that money into a store-all of it. Yeah, I opened a store selling golfing stuff: you know, clothes, balls, gloves, books, videos, whatever. There are five of those stores now; all over the state and they’re all mine. Yeah, well, mine and Alice’s. Alice, my ex-wife. Yeah, well, we don’t what to talk about her; we don’t even want to think about her. Must try this shot again… Darn it! Geez, that was terrible! I’ve seen 5-year-old kids play better than that. It’s because I’m thinking about damn Alice! And damn Deborah, too! Geez, damn women! Like my old Dad said: you can’t live with them; you can’t live without them! Darn it! I’m going to try that shot again… |