What do women want?
The epic struggle of mankind to figure out the inner working of women is ages old.Even freud,the master of modern psychology,died trying to figure out women.It isn't easy.
I had a friend once joke with me that“man mostly want sex,woman want the right to be hypocritical,yet call men on their inconsistencies"Yikes.No wonder men and women have stuggles getting along!
One reseason why understanding women isn't such an easy thing is because the ways women process thoughts and emotions is drastically different than their male counterparts.
Studies indicate women use emotion to process thought as their basis for desicion making 30 percent more than men do.As such,women sre also known for being more intuitive than men.This is not exactly true,as men use intuitive in different ways,and have different ways of communicating.Nevertheless,men tend to bond through shared activities,whereas women bond through sharing thoughts and feelings.
I've noticed that a woman will want to tell every little nuance of a story,where their male counterpart might be feeling like,"OK,what's the point?"A man tipically seeks a solution to the problem.Or,he's looking for a way to suggest something to help his woman improve,which is based upon competitive thinking(hou men relate in conversation is much more competitive).In fact,a woman is just relating the story to SHARE with him:there isn't anything competitive about it.
So what do women really want in a ma?Men can get what them want from women much more frequently when they approach women with a simple--yet effective---guideliness:
1.Women want a man to be confident1Confidence is the number one quality women look for.Don't be wimpy.Don't apologize for everything.Be real,Be you.
2.Women go nuts over a man who will go the extra mile.For examplehe open the door for her,he walks on the right side of the street,he helps her shop.I'm talking about being a GENTLEMAN!If she is coldz,offer her you jacket.If she is trouble,protect her.If there is danger,put your arm around her.Be a real man.
3.A sence of humor.Women love a man who can make her laugh.If you are dull,you are boring.If you make a woman laugh,you're halfway home.Take a chance,be real,but be funny.
4.Women want a man to listen(yes,even to the grips and details of all the craziness)and not necessarily give advice.Women generally love to complain about their problems.I konow it's hard to nod and supportive,because you want to watchESPN or do something more exciting,but the fact is,you woman will go to the ends of the earth to love you when you truly listen to them.You need to understand that womenneed to VENT.Allow her this,and she'll allow you in.nOD,Say"uh huh"while she's talking.Be truly interestedin what shge is saying without worrying about what you zre going to say next.Watch what happens.
Women want men to listen to them,because them have a need to be heard.And,women want their men to express hie feelings and trust her with his intimate side.Real listening,with real intimacy,is rare.Real listening is suspending thinking about what to say and being deeply engaged in waht she is talking about.Listening requires actively paying attention--shutting off the chatter mind.
5.Women want to be treated like they are the sexiest woman on the planet and that no other woman compares.Talking about your ex-girlfriends is notgoing to score big points with your new woman.Treating her likes she's the ONLY one will make her smile for quite a while.
6.Women want to know you will be faithful.Don't tell you woman how you cgeated on your ex.It won't make her think you are wise,I'm not saying lie to her--just don't go there.Don't chent on your woman.She will not think you are a better man for doing this.Just like you are want think you are the only man she's ever loved,well,that's the thing she wants,too.
7.Women SAY they want a sensitive man.Truth thios,go around apologizing all the time and crying frequently and a woman will abuse you.Trust me,it is NOT wise to do.This was well exemplified during the beach scene in the movie Bedazzled,where the man character in the film was trying to woo his love interest,his advice had been to "be more sensitive"Well,he went so overboard,was so sensitive,that his love interest ended up walking away with another dude with the assumption taht they'd have meaningless conversation and have cauual sex!(Boy was HE surprised!Being overly sensitive is a quick.way to get shown the DOOR.it is important to strike a balance.Be strong,be there,yet share you emotions.I'm definitely not an advocate of the"strong,silent type"as taht was the last generation's way of doing things.Let them know you care.But don't be sissy.
8.Women LOVE a man with a plan.Women love men with ambition.Men wh know who they are,what we're doing tonight,and what we're doing with our life.If you don't have a plan,get one.I have a plan (a)and plan (6)ready at all times,so time no matter what,it will appear I'm fairly spontaneous,but reality is I always know where,when,and how the evening or date could go.It is equally important for a man to know when to call a woman's bluff and let her know when she is pushing his limits.A man who just falls over and laps at his woman/s feet is a man who is called "whipped"for a reason.An example is as follow;she asks,"what do you want to do tonight"he says,"whatever you want to do."If this is his consistent pattern,he's whipped.She won't respect him in the end.I will say that some women are attracted to"Bad Boys".I think there is a certain ruggedness to the bad boy_ they big rude .they sometimes behave rudely.But the true gentleman always remembers what matters most.Have an air of mystique,but definitely be you.If,on occasion,that means doing what you want,rather than what she wants,then do it.Just don't make a continual habit of it.that's rude.
If a woman is truly attracted to an ABUSIVE man,then this is not the woman for you_leave and advise her to seek help.There is no instance where you should subject youself to this situation,because women who are addicted to abusive relationships will end up making you do things you'd never ever normally do in a relationsip
9.Women say theywant to be treated like an equal.This is not true.Women want to be treated like a WOMAN.Not like a man.If she wnted to be with a woman,she'd do that.She wants to be with YOU.Therefore,be a MAN.This is not to be confused with disrespect.Women want to be respect!Awoman wants to be respect for being feminine,bein a wman.Women are quite different from men.A man who takes the time to understand the difference is a wise man.
10.Be a true friend.Let her share her good times and problems with you.Be there,rather than just promising to be there.
11.Women want to be loved,despite their flaws,and need to be satisfied mentally as much as physically.(Generally speaking,men will have a one-night-stand much more easily than a woman-thus the reason men say"I'll call you"when they really don't ever plan to.)How would you love your child?This is how a woman wants to be loved.How would God love you?Is this a way we can love her?Unconditionally would be the ideal love.How can you love a woman without judgment,conditions,or rules?How would you like to be loved?Sexually speaking,women define great sex differently than a man,using words like soft candlelight,light touch,then becoming more aggressive as their mood rises to the occasion.A man,on the other hand,instantly rises to the occasion.Women want men to be their lover instead of obsessing over her body to just get sex.That means taking you time,showing extra attention,and being tender in ways with her to let her know she is special.
12.Women appreciate a man who is creative.Roses are nice.But sometimes it is extra special to think of something that most guys wouldn't do for a woman.It could be something stupid,but if it is something that you think SHE would like,then why not do it?You might have just made her day.
13.Women want a sence of security,to know that her partner will be there if she becomes sick or when she grows old or flabby.Giving a woman secrity is being there through emotional nd physical support.An example might be if she has to have surgery.Take the day off and be there for her,holding her hand,giving his full support to her.This is about strength of character.
Knowing there 13 traits,how can men better relate to women?
First,men need to develop ways of listening more akin to how women listen to each other.Women nod and say"aha,wow,yes,uh-huh"much more than men do.Men listen more quietly when they speak,and consider such mannerism as an interruption.Men may improve their chances if they are interactive in conversation.
Men also need to cut cheesy lines and just be genuine.An example might be how a man interacts with a woman in a bar scene.Instead of approaching her with some line like"your mother must be beautiful just look at you,"a man can be more genuine:"Nice restaurant,do you like the food here?"would be a much better approach.
One challenge men have is the tendency tosee a woman as his personal sex toy.This is a real problem between men and women.He really needs to put aside the sex issue and considr the deeper issues;how does he feel with her?Does she make him laugh?Do they share common dreams and goals?When a man stops worrying about when or how he will get a woman in bed,the odds for a successful relationship improve dramatically.
Men need to appreciate a woman for the effort she goes through to be beautiful for him.A woman does not have to be a size 6 or have perfectly toned muscles or large breasts to be a beautiful woman.It is important for woman to love their body(flaws and all),as this attitude creates confidence in herself-which is practically an aphrodisiac to man.Appreciating what women go thought is a way todevelop gratitude.An"Attitude of gratitude"goes a long way to improving a relationship.He can compliment her and let her know she is beautiful to him and that she is "perfect"to him.
Last,men need to share in the responsibility of building a good relationship.Helping make each day fun;living on purpose with aspirations,sharing the good times,and taking on the crazy challenges life can present,is what makes relationships worthwhile.
By following this guidance,we hope you are able to build the relationship of your dreams. |