Has #MeToo Gone Too Far

 

Large numbers of women consider the #MeToo movement an important step toward countering widespread sexual abuse and wrongdoing.

But this week, there has been talk of the possible harm the movement may cause.

The discussion began after the publication of a story about a woman identified only as “Grace.” The website Babe.net published the account. “Grace” told of her 2017 encounter with comedian¹ Aziz Ansari. The article suggested that Ansari should be included in the growing list of abusive men in entertainment.

Yet many readers -- both women and men -- believe the woman’s encounter was simply an example of a bad date and a bad sexual experience.

Ansari has said he apologized immediately after the woman told him about her discomfort² during the encounter. He said he believed the sexual experience was consensual.

But his career may already be damaged.

Michael Cunningham teaches psychology³ at the University of Louisville in Kentucky. He said the Grace/Ansari encounter is an example of a misunderstanding between two people.

“It appears that Grace wanted Ansari to treat her as a potential girlfriend to be courted over multiple dates, rather than a pickup⁴ from a party engaging in a mutually acceptable transaction,” Cunningham wrote in an email. “When he did not rise to her expectations, she converted her understandable disappointment into a false #MeToo.”

Carole Lieberman is a psychiatrist⁵ in Beverly Hills, California. She said, “too many women have joined #metoo too quickly and unthinkingly.”

“Though they may have wanted to be in solidarity⁶ with other women, the stories of dates gone wrong or women scorned have detracted from women who have been raped⁷ or seriously sexually assaulted,” she said.

Online and in person, many women are talking about experiences similar to Grace’s story -- encounters with men who seemed wonderful at first, but become aggressive, or even criminally abusive, when things became sexual.

Sarah Hosseini writes about sex. She said the #MeToo movement is big enough to include experiences such as Grace’s.

“What she experienced with Ansari is not OK. But do we have language yet for intimate encounters that teeter on the edge of absolute sexual assault/abuse?” she asked. “I don’t think we do.”

Liz Wolfe is editor of Young Voices, an organization in Washington, DC that publishes opinion pieces written by young people.

Wolfe has noticed a generational divide in reactions. Older women seem to think Grace should have been more vocal⁸ and assertive⁹, or simply left Ansari’s apartment. Younger women feel that Ansari should have read Grace’s body language and listened to her more closely, and he was at fault for pressuring her.

Among men, there are also many different views.

Tahir Duckett is with ReThink, a nonprofit seeking to stop boys and young men from committing sexual assault. He says the #MeToo movement “is exactly where it needs to be” as it continues to empower victims.

“This moment absolutely calls for a changed approach to dating,” he said. “It means paying just as much attention to body language as we do to words.”

However, Glenn Sacks, who writes often about men’s issues, said the Ansari case supports his belief that #MeToo is including “trivial mistakes or misdeeds of the many in with the genuinely awful actions” of a few.

Warren Farrell has written such books as “Why Men Are the Way they Are” and “The Boy Crisis.” He suggested that women should bear more of the responsibility for beginning sexual interest. And he recommended training in schools for both boys and girls to view relationship issues from the other’s perspective.

I’m Dorothy Gundy.

Words in This Story

encounter - n. a meeting that is not planned or expected

consensual - adj. agreed to by the people involved

potential - adj. capable of becoming real

mutually - adv. in an equal way for each person or group involved

scorn - v. to refuse or reject

detract - v. to reduce value, strength or importance of something

teeter - v. to move in an unsteady way back and forth¹⁰

trivial - adj. not important

genuinely - adv. sincere and honest

1 comedian   

n.喜剧演员；滑稽演员

参考例句：

• The comedian tickled the crowd with his jokes.喜剧演员的笑话把人们逗乐了。
• The comedian enjoyed great popularity during the 30's.那位喜剧演员在三十年代非常走红。

2 discomfort   

n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便

参考例句：

• One has to bear a little discomfort while travelling.旅行中总要忍受一点不便。
• She turned red with discomfort when the teacher spoke.老师讲话时她不好意思地红着脸。

3 psychology   

n.心理，心理学，心理状态

参考例句：

• She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
• He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。

4 pickup   

n.拾起，获得

参考例句：

• I would love to trade this car for a pickup truck.我愿意用这辆汽车换一辆小型轻便卡车。||The luck guy is a choice pickup for the girls.那位幸运的男孩是女孩子们想勾搭上的人。

5 psychiatrist   

n.精神病专家；精神病医师

参考例句：

• He went to a psychiatrist about his compulsive gambling.他去看精神科医生治疗不能自拔的赌瘾。
• The psychiatrist corrected him gently.精神病医师彬彬有礼地纠正他。

6 solidarity   

n.团结；休戚相关

参考例句：

• They must preserve their solidarity.他们必须维护他们的团结。
• The solidarity among China's various nationalities is as firm as a rock.中国各族人民之间的团结坚如磐石。

7 raped   

v.以暴力夺取，强夺( rape的过去式和过去分词 )；强奸

参考例句：

• A young woman was brutally raped in her own home. 一名年轻女子在自己家中惨遭强暴。 来自辞典例句
• We got stick together, or we will be having our women raped. 我们得团结一致，不然我们的妻女就会遭到蹂躏。 来自辞典例句

8 vocal   

adj.直言不讳的；嗓音的；n.[pl.]声乐节目

参考例句：

• The tongue is a vocal organ.舌头是一个发音器官。
• Public opinion at last became vocal.终于舆论哗然。

9 assertive   

adj.果断的，自信的，有冲劲的

参考例句：

• She always speaks an assertive tone.她总是以果断的语气说话。
• China appears to have become more assertive in the waters off its coastline over recent years.在近些年，中国显示出对远方海洋的自信。

10 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。