VOA健康报道2022--分享孤独可以帮助我们减少孤独感

Sharing Our Loneliness May Help Us Feel Less Lonely

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By Anna Matteo

09 May 2022

From VOA Learning English, this is the Health & Lifestyle report.

In English, there is an expression that goes like this: Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. It suggests that people do not want to share in the sadness of others.

But what if sharing our sadness actually helps us feel better? That was the goal of Natalie Eve Garrett when she thought of collecting stories about loneliness.

FILE - Senior citizens at assisted living facilities are often at higher risk of suffering from loneliness. Here, Judie Shape (center) blows a kiss to her son-in-law and daughter at the Life Care Center in Washington state in the U.S., March 11, 2020. (File Photo)

FILE - Senior citizens at assisted living facilities are often at higher risk of suffering from loneliness. Here, Judie Shape (center) blows a kiss to her son-in-law and daughter at the Life Care Center in Washington state in the U.S., March 11, 2020. (File Photo)

In he book, The Lonely Stories: 22 Celebrated¹ Writers on the Joys & Struggles of Being Alone, Garrett wanted to share personal stories of loneliness. Garrett said she hopes the stories give people suffering from loneliness comfort and perhaps even joy.

"I think we all have felt alone. We all feel lonely. And we all will continue to feel lonely sometimes. I think when we read about varied² experiences it can be a way of using loneliness and aloneness to connect with each other. And that was really my hope with the book."

Different stories from different voices

The writers and stories in this collection are all very different. Some are tragic³, such as the death of a loved one. While others are lighter⁴, such as feeling alone at a Star Trek⁵ event. This variety is something Garrett wanted readers to also experience.

The book project was sold in 2019. And then COVID-19 spread around the world. Suddenly isolation⁶ became a part of nearly everyone's lives. People were separated from friends, family members, co-workers, and neighbors.

At the same time, many people were forced to be around their immediate⁷ families all the time. For some, this led to a different kind of loneliness – a loneliness for oneself. The book The Lonely Stories also deals with the challenges of a lack of solitude⁸, or as we often call it, alone time.

Garrett talked about the difference between loneliness and solitude.

"They're not the same. I, you know, I think of loneliness as feeling of lack. Solitude, I think, is chosen whereas loneliness happens to us."

A writer and a painter, Garrett found being in quarantine with her two young daughters both good and bad. She was able to spend much time with her family. But this also meant she did not have time to paint. When talking about the lack of time to herself, Garrett used the words "longing⁹" and "crave¹⁰" – both mean to deeply want something.

"During the pandemic, I really found myself longing for alone time. I have two small children. They're 9 and eleven, and we were all quarantining at home together. Which while joyful¹¹ ... I felt so often disconnected from myself and really craved¹² more time to be with myself to have time to paint and ... sort of reconnect."

While most of the stories were written during the pandemic, only a few writers deal with the pandemic directly.

In the story "On Witness and Respair," Jesmyn Ward¹³ writes about her husband dying at the beginning of the pandemic. Her whole family caught what they thought was just a severe flu. Her husband did not survive.

In "Exodus¹⁴, 2020," Emily Raboteau describes the emptying of a large apartment building where she lives in New York City. One by one, neighbors and friends left the city for safer places to live during the pandemic.

The loneliness of losing one's culture

Several writers describe the loneliness of leaving their culture.

Jhumpa Lahiri's "Trading Stories" is about her parents' struggle to fit in to a different culture and how that affected¹⁵ her life and work.

Writer Jean Kwok shares the experience of her family moving from Hong Kong to New York City. They lost everything: money, jobs, and more. In "Perpetual Foreigner," she wrote:

"But the heavier price was losing our language, our friends, our culture, and in some ways, one another."

Some of the writers wrote about choosing to be alone for personal or creative reasons and the challenges they faced.

-- In "Maine Man," Lev Grossman wrote about nearly losing his mind. While in his twenties, he chose to work on a book in a small town, isolated¹⁶ from other people.

-- In the story "Javelinas," Claire Dederer wrote about facing her alcohol addiction¹⁷ during a period of solitude.

-- And in "Am I Still Here?" Anthony Doerr, a man addicted¹⁸ to the internet, wrote of his struggle to turn off social media and reconnect with nature and himself.

Dangers of loneliness

Loneliness is not just a mental state. It can also lead to serious physical health problems.

The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services National Institute on Aging says that loneliness and isolation can be harmful for older people. Loneliness can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, a decrease in mental abilities, and even death.

Younger people are not protected against the harm of loneliness either. Researchers at Harvard University have found that in the United States loneliness has increased in young adults and others since the beginning of the pandemic.

The Harvard study was released in February of 2021. It suggests that "36% of all Americans feel ‘serious loneliness.'" This includes "61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children."

Garrett told VOA that sharing stories of loneliness is a way to bring attention to the problem and to feel connected to others.

"So, I'm really grateful that so many extraordinary writers joined me on this lonely journey and made it really un-lonely! And my hope is that the book will remind us that we're not as alone as we think we are and we're not alone in feeling ... lonely."

And that's the Health & Lifestyle report. I'm Anna Matteo.

Anna Matteo wrote this story for VOA Learning English. If you want to share your own feelings of loneliness or perhaps wanting some solitude feel free to do so in the Comments Section.

Additional information: The Lonely Stories: 22 Celebrated Writers on the Joys & Struggles of Being Alone, published by Catapult, is Garrett's third collection of stories. She's also the editor of Eat Joy: Stories & Comfort Food from 31 Celebrated Writers and The Artists' and Writers' Cookbook: A Collection of Stories with Recipes.

As they appear in the collection, the writers include:

Megan Giddings, Claire Dederer, Imani Perry, Jeffery Renard Allen, Maggie Shipstead, Emily Raboteau, Lev Grossman, Lena Dunham, Yiyun Li, Anthony Doerr, Helena Fitzgerald, Maile Meloy, Aja Gabel, Jean Kwok, Amy Shearn, Peter Ho Davies, Maya Shanbhag Lang, Jhumpa Lahiri, Jesmyn Ward, Lidia Yuknavitch, Dina Nayeri, Melissa Febos.

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Words in This Story

comfort –n. a state or feeling of being less worried, upset, frightened during a time of trouble or emotional pain

joy –n. a feeling of great happiness

varied –adj. having many forms or different kinds

isolation –n. the state of being apart from others

solitude –n. the quality or state of being alone or remote from society

quarantine –n. being separated from others, often by order, in an effort to stop the spread of disease

addiction –n. a compulsive, chronic¹⁹, physiological²⁰ or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms

depression –n. a state of being sad or hopeless that can also be a serious medical condition

1 celebrated   

adj.有名的，声誉卓著的

参考例句：

• He was soon one of the most celebrated young painters in England.不久他就成了英格兰最负盛名的年轻画家之一。
• The celebrated violinist was mobbed by the audience.观众团团围住了这位著名的小提琴演奏家。

2 varied   

adj.多样的，多变化的

参考例句：

• The forms of art are many and varied.艺术的形式是多种多样的。
• The hotel has a varied programme of nightly entertainment.宾馆有各种晚间娱乐活动。

3 tragic   

adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的

参考例句：

• The effect of the pollution on the beaches is absolutely tragic.污染海滩后果可悲。
• Charles was a man doomed to tragic issues.查理是个注定不得善终的人。

4 lighter   

n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级

参考例句：

• The portrait was touched up so as to make it lighter.这张画经过润色，色调明朗了一些。
• The lighter works off the car battery.引燃器利用汽车蓄电池打火。

5 trek   

vi.作长途艰辛的旅行；n.长途艰苦的旅行

参考例句：

• We often go pony-trek in the summer.夏季我们经常骑马旅行。
• It took us the whole day to trek across the rocky terrain.我们花了一整天的时间艰难地穿过那片遍布岩石的地带。

6 isolation   

n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离

参考例句：

• The millionaire lived in complete isolation from the outside world.这位富翁过着与世隔绝的生活。
• He retired and lived in relative isolation.他退休后，生活比较孤寂。

7 immediate   

adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的

参考例句：

• His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
• We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。

8 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

9 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

10 crave   

vt.渴望得到，迫切需要，恳求，请求

参考例句：

• Many young children crave attention.许多小孩子渴望得到关心。
• You may be craving for some fresh air.你可能很想呼吸呼吸新鲜空气。

11 joyful   

adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的

参考例句：

• She was joyful of her good result of the scientific experiments.她为自己的科学实验取得好成果而高兴。
• They were singing and dancing to celebrate this joyful occasion.他们唱着、跳着庆祝这令人欢乐的时刻。

12 craved   

渴望，热望( crave的过去式 )； 恳求，请求

参考例句：

• She has always craved excitement. 她总渴望刺激。
• A spicy, sharp-tasting radish was exactly what her stomach craved. 她正馋着想吃一个香甜可口的红萝卜呢。

13 ward   

n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开

参考例句：

• The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
• During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时，我要点根火把，抵挡蚊虫。

14 exodus   

v.大批离去，成群外出

参考例句：

• The medical system is facing collapse because of an exodus of doctors.由于医生大批离去，医疗系统面临崩溃。
• Man's great challenge at this moment is to prevent his exodus from this planet.人在当前所遇到的最大挑战，就是要防止人从这个星球上消失。

15 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

16 isolated   

adj.与世隔绝的

参考例句：

• His bad behaviour was just an isolated incident. 他的不良行为只是个别事件。
• Patients with the disease should be isolated. 这种病的患者应予以隔离。

17 addiction   

n.上瘾入迷，嗜好

参考例句：

• He stole money from his parents to feed his addiction.他从父母那儿偷钱以满足自己的嗜好。
• Areas of drug dealing are hellholes of addiction,poverty and murder.贩卖毒品的地区往往是吸毒上瘾、贫困和发生谋杀的地方。

18 addicted   

adj.沉溺于....的，对...上瘾的

参考例句：

• He was addicted to heroin at the age of 17.他17岁的时候对海洛因上了瘾。
• She's become addicted to love stories.她迷上了爱情小说。

19 chronic   

adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的

参考例句：

• Famine differs from chronic malnutrition.饥荒不同于慢性营养不良。
• Chronic poisoning may lead to death from inanition.慢性中毒也可能由虚弱导致死亡。

20 physiological   

adj.生理学的，生理学上的

参考例句：

• He bought a physiological book.他买了一本生理学方面的书。
• Every individual has a physiological requirement for each nutrient.每个人对每种营养成分都有一种生理上的需要。