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And now a question we're all pondering: What’s on the mind of an unmarried man? Day to Day contributor Brian Unger is single, but even he doesn’t have a clue, still he says the New York Times is searching for an answer.
On Friday, gawker.com, a website that covers Manhattan media news and gossip, reported that the New York Times is going back again,one more time, delving1 deep deep deep into the psyche2 of America's single man to figure out once and for all---what is he thinking? Gawker.com cites a query3 from ProfNet, the PR Newswire service that helps connect journalists with sources. In the item, a reporter for the New York Times is on the prowl. She writes, “I am exploring the topic of Yellow Light Bachelors, single straight men who have reached an age where their friends and family start to wonder what is wrong, why they are still single, are they commitment-phobes, are they gay, it’s the, well if he is so successful and attractive, yet single, what's wrong with him?”.
What's wrong with him might be the repetitive banging of the New York Times on his front door, desperately4 wanting to get inside his brain. Gentleman, the old gray lady will not be ignored. She is gonna boil a bunny on your stove. You are being stalked by a newspaper. The upcoming yellow-light-bachelors expose comes on the heels of the July 5th Times' investigation5 'Straight, Gay or Lying, Bisexuality Revisited', that on the heels of their ground-breaking June 19th report ‘Gay or Straight, hard to tell", that on the heels of their heart-hitting April 10th analysis ‘the Man Date-- what do you call two straight men having dinner', that on the heels of the now infamous6 2003 journalistic nuclear bomb “Metrosexuals Come Out”.
Since the New York Times started probing unmarried men, the folks at Webster's and Microsoft haven’t been able to take a vacation. They are constantly having to update the dictionary and spell-check with words like metrosexual, man date and commitment-phobe. On every beach in the Hamptons, scrabble games have erupted in fist-fights over people trying to play the word gay-vague seduced7 by its sexy point total. In its upcoming shot of these Zeitgeist smash-hit yellow light bachelors, the New York Times will again courageously8 attempt to distill9 man’s essence into a brand of shoe, define his elusiveness10 by his hair product, discover his soul through his flat front pants, and give Fox News another reason to hate the New York Times. Perhaps the New York Times is coming out of the closet. Maybe it wants to change its monniker to the old gay lady, or more likely, these stories are paid back for generations of women having to endure the question : Why aren't you married, and furthermore why don't you have any kids? Will the New York Times ever uncover what's inside the mind of an unmarried man?
I am reminded of a joke, as old as the New York Times itself. A man says" I broke up with my girlfriend because she asked the wrong question." His friend asks :"what question is that?" The man replies," she asked what are you thinking”. And that’s today’s Unger Report, I am Brian Unger.
On Friday, gawker.com, a website that covers Manhattan media news and gossip, reported that the New York Times is going back again,one more time, delving1 deep deep deep into the psyche2 of America's single man to figure out once and for all---what is he thinking? Gawker.com cites a query3 from ProfNet, the PR Newswire service that helps connect journalists with sources. In the item, a reporter for the New York Times is on the prowl. She writes, “I am exploring the topic of Yellow Light Bachelors, single straight men who have reached an age where their friends and family start to wonder what is wrong, why they are still single, are they commitment-phobes, are they gay, it’s the, well if he is so successful and attractive, yet single, what's wrong with him?”.
What's wrong with him might be the repetitive banging of the New York Times on his front door, desperately4 wanting to get inside his brain. Gentleman, the old gray lady will not be ignored. She is gonna boil a bunny on your stove. You are being stalked by a newspaper. The upcoming yellow-light-bachelors expose comes on the heels of the July 5th Times' investigation5 'Straight, Gay or Lying, Bisexuality Revisited', that on the heels of their ground-breaking June 19th report ‘Gay or Straight, hard to tell", that on the heels of their heart-hitting April 10th analysis ‘the Man Date-- what do you call two straight men having dinner', that on the heels of the now infamous6 2003 journalistic nuclear bomb “Metrosexuals Come Out”.
Since the New York Times started probing unmarried men, the folks at Webster's and Microsoft haven’t been able to take a vacation. They are constantly having to update the dictionary and spell-check with words like metrosexual, man date and commitment-phobe. On every beach in the Hamptons, scrabble games have erupted in fist-fights over people trying to play the word gay-vague seduced7 by its sexy point total. In its upcoming shot of these Zeitgeist smash-hit yellow light bachelors, the New York Times will again courageously8 attempt to distill9 man’s essence into a brand of shoe, define his elusiveness10 by his hair product, discover his soul through his flat front pants, and give Fox News another reason to hate the New York Times. Perhaps the New York Times is coming out of the closet. Maybe it wants to change its monniker to the old gay lady, or more likely, these stories are paid back for generations of women having to endure the question : Why aren't you married, and furthermore why don't you have any kids? Will the New York Times ever uncover what's inside the mind of an unmarried man?
I am reminded of a joke, as old as the New York Times itself. A man says" I broke up with my girlfriend because she asked the wrong question." His friend asks :"what question is that?" The man replies," she asked what are you thinking”. And that’s today’s Unger Report, I am Brian Unger.
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1 delving | |
v.深入探究,钻研( delve的现在分词 ) | |
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2 psyche | |
n.精神;灵魂 | |
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3 query | |
n.疑问,问号,质问;vt.询问,表示怀疑 | |
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4 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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5 investigation | |
n.调查,调查研究 | |
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6 infamous | |
adj.声名狼藉的,臭名昭著的,邪恶的 | |
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7 seduced | |
诱奸( seduce的过去式和过去分词 ); 勾引; 诱使堕落; 使入迷 | |
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8 courageously | |
ad.勇敢地,无畏地 | |
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9 distill | |
vt.蒸馏,用蒸馏法提取,吸取,提炼 | |
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10 elusiveness | |
狡诈 | |
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