TED演讲:内心的喧哗(3)

 　　Many people have harmed me in my life, and I remember them all,  我这一生被许多人伤害过，而且我都记得

　　but the memories grow pale and faint in comparison with the people who've helped me. 但相较于受人恩惠，那些不堪回首的事就显得依稀模糊了

　　The fellow survivors¹, the fellow voice-hearers, the comrades and collaborators; 那些同病相怜的过来人、朋友和伙伴

　　the mother who never gave up on me,  还有对我从未放弃希望的母亲

　　who knew that one day I would come back to her  她知道女儿总有一天会恢复

　　and was willing to wait for me for as long as it took;  而她愿意一直等下去

　　the doctor who only worked with me for a brief time  那位和我萍水相逢的医生

　　but who reinforced his belief that recovery was not only possible but inevitable,  不仅坚信我有可能康复而且一定会康复.

　　and during a devastating² period of relapse told my terrified family, 在我病情不断复发，令人心力憔悴的那段时间，他告诉我的家人:

　　"Don't give up hope. I believe that Eleanor can get through this. “别放弃希望!我相信Eleanor能捱过这关!

　　Sometimes, you know, it snows as late as May, but summer always comes eventually." “有时候5月天也会下雪，但夏天终究会来!”

　　Fourteen minutes is not enough time 14分钟的时间其实不够我去感谢

　　to fully³ credit those good and generous people who fought with me and for me 那些拉我一把的好人，有人与我并肩作战，为我挺身而出

　　and who waited to welcome me back from that agonized⁴, lonely place. 还有人盼着我从孤独沉痛中恢复过来

　　But together, they forged a blend of courage, creativity, integrity, and an unshakeable belief 但他们共同造就的勇气、创造力、诚信和坚定信念

　　that my shattered self could become healed and whole.  让原来支离破碎的我，得以找回完整的自己

　　I used to say that these people saved me,  我曾说这些人救了我

　　but what I now know is they did something even more important in that they empowered me to save myself, 但我现在才明白，是他们让我有力量拯救自己

　　and crucially, they helped me to understand something which I'd always suspected: 更重要的是，他们让我了解一件我过去始终不确定的事

　　that my voices were a meaningful response to traumatic life events, particularly childhood events, 我所听见的那些声音，其实是以有意义的方式响应过去的伤痛，尤其是我的童年

　　and as such were not my enemies but a source of insight into solvable emotional problems. 这样说来，我们不应彼此为敌，是这些声音让我看清那些并非无解的情绪问题

　　Now, at first, this was very difficult to believe,  起初这很难去相信

　　not least because the voices appeared so hostile and menacing, 不只因为那些声音好像不怀好意

　　so in this respect, a vital first step was 既然如此，首要步骤就是

　　learning to separate out a metaphorical⁵ meaning from what I'd previously⁶ interpreted to be a literal truth. 学着从我原本理解的表象中找到其中的隐含的意义

　　So for example, voices which threatened to attack my home  举例来说，那些声音曾威胁要袭击我家

　　I learned to interpret as my own sense of fear and insecurity in the world, 那时我习惯以自身的恐惧感和不安来解读事情

　　rather than an actual, objective danger.  而非真正具体的危险

　　Now at first, I would have believed them.  刚开始我信以为真

　　I remember, for example, sitting up one night on guard outside my parents' room 还记得有一次我彻夜不眠，守在我爸妈房门前

　　to protect them from what I thought was a genuine threat from the voices. 提防我认为那些声音很可能带来的威胁

　　Because I'd had such a bad problem with self-injury that most of the cutlery in the house had been hidden, 因为在那之前我自残过好几次，所以家里大部分的餐具都被藏起来

　　so I ended up arming myself with a plastic fork, kind of like picnic ware⁷, 最后我拿一支塑料叉当武器，就是那种野餐用的，

　　and sort of sat outside the room clutching it and waiting to spring into action should anything happen. 然后坐在门外把叉子夹在腋下高度戒备

　　It was like, "Don't mess with me. I've got a plastic fork, don't you know?" 那情形就像说:“别惹我!你不知道我有武器吗?”

　　Strategic.  这是我用的战术

　　But a later response, and much more useful,  但我随后的反应比较有效

　　would be to try and deconstruct the message behind the words,  我尝试拆解言外之意

　　so when the voices warned me not to leave the house,  所以当声音警告我不要出门

　　then I would thank them for drawing my attention to how unsafe I felt 我会谢谢他们的提醒，让我注意到自己多缺乏安全感

　　because if I was aware of it, then I could do something positive about it 因有这份认知，我就可以积极面对问题

　　but go on to reassure⁸ both them and myself that we were safe and didn't need to feel frightened anymore. 安抚自己及那些声音，我们很安全，用不着害怕

　　I would set boundaries for the voices,  我会与“他们”划清界线

　　and try to interact with them in a way that was assertive  试着以坚决的态度与他们沟通

　　yet respectful, establishing a slow process of communication and collaboration⁹ 但保持尊重并放缓沟通及合作的过程

　　in which we could learn to work together and support one another.  这样“我们”才能学习共事，互相扶持

1 survivors   

幸存者，残存者，生还者( survivor的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The survivors were adrift in a lifeboat for six days. 幸存者在救生艇上漂流了六天。
• survivors clinging to a raft 紧紧抓住救生筏的幸存者

2 devastating   

adj.毁灭性的，令人震惊的，强有力的

参考例句：

• It is the most devastating storm in 20 years.这是20年来破坏性最大的风暴。
• Affairs do have a devastating effect on marriages.婚外情确实会对婚姻造成毁灭性的影响。

3 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

4 agonized   

v.使（极度）痛苦，折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 )；苦斗；苦苦思索；感到极度痛苦

参考例句：

• All the time they agonized and prayed. 他们一直在忍受痛苦并且祈祷。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• She agonized herself with the thought of her loss. 她念念不忘自己的损失，深深陷入痛苦之中。 来自辞典例句

5 metaphorical   

a.隐喻的，比喻的

参考例句：

• Here, then, we have a metaphorical substitution on a metonymic axis. 这样，我们在换喻（者翻译为转喻，一种以部分代替整体的修辞方法）上就有了一个隐喻的替代。
• So, in a metaphorical sense, entropy is arrow of time. 所以说，我们可以这样作个比喻：熵像是时间之矢。

6 previously   

adv.以前，先前（地）

参考例句：

• The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
• Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿，解释原先发生了什么。

7 ware   

n.(常用复数)商品，货物

参考例句：

• The shop sells a great variety of porcelain ware.这家店铺出售品种繁多的瓷器。
• Good ware will never want a chapman.好货不须叫卖。

8 reassure   

v.使放心，使消除疑虑

参考例句：

• This seemed to reassure him and he continued more confidently.这似乎使他放心一点，于是他更有信心地继续说了下去。
• The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe.航空公司尽力让乘客相信飞机是安全的。

9 collaboration   

n.合作，协作；勾结

参考例句：

• The two companies are working in close collaboration each other.这两家公司密切合作。
• He was shot for collaboration with the enemy.他因通敌而被枪毙了。