儿童故事集：The Easter Fair

 The “Wicked Uncle” takes Jeremy and Jemima to an Easter Fair. What could possibly go wrong? Well almost anything.

 

Of course Uncle Jeff is not really that wicked – but he is both fun and irresponsible. Mum and Dad never feel comfortable when he’s around, but the children know they must expect the unexpected, and it’s probably going to be an adventure.

 

Dedicated¹ to our friends, at Wicked Uncle – gifts for children.

 

Story by Bertie.

 

Read by Richard Scott. Duration 15.21.

 

 

Jeremy and Jemima stood next to Mum and Dad holding hymn² books in their hands. As the church organist began to play “All Things Bright and Beautiful” a tall man in a smart hedge coat, with a silk scarf tucked into his collar, joined the family at the end of the pew. He said “Hi kids,” a little too loudly. Mum turned her head to look at the noisy intruder. Her frown was met by the cheery grin of Jeff, whom the family normally referred to as, “The Wicked Uncle.” It was a joke of course, but like all jokes, there was a drop of truth at the bottom of it.

 

After the service, they stood on the steps of the church in the crisp air and mellow³ sunlight of a beautiful April morning. It was enough to make anyone feel springy with the joy of life. But Dad was grumpy because Jeff had put a twenty pound note in the collecting box, and he felt he had to match his generosity⁴. Mum said to her brother-in-law:

 

“Jeff,  you’re full of surprises. I didn’t have you down as the church-going type.”

 

“Oh you know, Christmas and Easter, weddings and funerals, the odd baptism, that’s me,” said Jeff.

 

‘Well you’d better come to Sunday lunch” said Mum, hoping that he hadn’t noticed Dad shaking his head.

 

An hour later, Jeff was carving⁵ the roast beef and saying how a family meal was a rare treat in his bachelor existence. He offered to take the kids to the Easter Fair in return.

 

“Fantastic. We’d love to go to the fair !’ exclaimed Jeremy.

 

But this was the last thing that mum wanted. Jeff had an uncanny knack⁶ for getting into trouble, and a fairground seemed to offer up untold⁷ opportunities for bringing the kids and calamity⁸ together. She had visions of her children flying off a Ferris wheel, or being poisoned by a hot dog. She said:

 

“That’s sweet of you Jeff, but er, Dad doesn’t approve of the fair, does he kids?’

 

“Only because it’s expensive, “ said Jeremy. “But Uncle Jeff won’t mind about that because he’s loaded.”

 

“Jeremy! “ exclaimed mum,”What a thing to say!” and then turning to Jeff she pleaded, “Kids ! You never know what they’ll come out with next.”

 

But Jeff was all smiles. “Don’t worry,” he said, “I know why my brother doesn’t like the fair. It’s because he never wins a prize.”

 

And the children both laughed and told their Uncle that he was spot on, while Dad smiled weakly and went to clear up the dishes in the kitchen. Mum stalled for time by telling the kids to go out to the garden and hunt for Easter eggs. She hoped that in the meantime, Dad would come up with a good excuse for not going to the fair. While the children were finding mini-eggs, Jeff went out to his Porsche to fetch a giant Easter Egg made of Swiss chocolate. Its hollow inside was filled with clockwork toys like robots and dancing fairies. Jeremy and Jemima were overjoyed when they saw it, and after that, Mum and Dad were almost glad to let Jeff take them to the fair.

 

“Don’t fret,” said Dad as they watched the kids squeeze into the tiny back seats of Jeff’s car. “He will spoil them rotten, make them dizzy on the rides, and stuff them full of candy floss, but nothing too terrible can happen at the Easter Fair.”

 

The fun fair was held every Easter on the town’s green. It was an old tradition, and in fact Dad and Uncle Jeff had both gone to it as kids. The amusements hadn’t changed that much, but the prices had doubled and doubled and doubled and – well that’s how things change. But the fair was as popular as ever, and the crowds queued for the old favorites like the dodgems, the ghost train, the roundabouts, the helter skelter and the big wheel. The cuisine⁹ still consisted of toffee apples, candy floss, hot-dogs and hamburgers with lots of smelly fried onions. The muddy ground was ankle deep in cartons and waste paper. A cacophony¹⁰ of conflicting disco beats and golden oldies pumped out of speakers from every stall. In short, it was heaven.

 

Just as Dad had predicted, Jeff indulged the kids with  every dangerous-looking, dizzy-making ride that their hearts desired. But he himself took a particular interest in the side-stalls that offered prizes. The fact is, that nobody ever succeeded in throwing a hoopla ring over a triangular¹¹ block to win an enormous fluffy¹² pink bear. Nobody, that is, except Uncle Jeff, who scored a prize with all three of his hoops¹³.  Jeremy and Jemima’s arms were so full of fluffy toys that they could hardly walk, let alone lick toffee apples, so Jeff gave them back to the store holder¹⁴. “The kids are too old for them, “ he said apologetically. Then he moved onto a strongman test. Jeremy lifted up the big hammer and brought it down with all his might. He sent the ringer about a third of the way up the stand towards the gong. Jeff picked up the hammer with one hand and rang the gong first time. Even the store holder was impressed as he handed over his best prize – a china statue of a Dalmatian dog.

 

“One more piece of kitsch for the collection,” said Jeff as he examined it. “The prizes at this fair ground were never up to much.”

 

But Jeremy caught sight of something interesting and said: “Except for that one!” He was pointing towards the shooting arcade¹⁵ over which a sign declared “ Win a £1000.”

 

“A thousand pounds!” exclaimed Jemima, “That can’t be true,” but it was what the sign promised . When they got closer, they saw that to win the prize you had to shoot three plastic ducks. The only problem was that they flew across the stall at lightening speed and random¹⁶ intervals¹⁷. It cost ten pounds just to enter, and the store holder looked like he was raking the money in, and not paying out any prizes at all. Jeff and the kids watched as three or four punters lost their money. Jeff said, “Right. I must have a crack at that.”

 

The gun was a fairly serious weapon – a 2.2 air rifle. A duck flashed by, and Jeff fired and missed. He had already lost the prize because you had to score three out of three shots to win. He took the two other shots just for practice, and missed both times.

 

“Bad luck Uncle Jeff,” said Jemima. “Shall we go home now?”

 

“Not yet,” said their uncle, “I need to get my eye in.” He paid up another ten pounds and shot and missed another three times.

 

“You’re not Dad’s brother for nothing,” said Jeremy. But Jeff wasn’t listening. He was examining the line of the gun. Then he placed it between his knees and started work at the barrel with his hands.

 

“What are you bending it for?” asked Jemima.

 

“I’m not. I’m straightening it,” said Jeff.

 

“Hey you can’t do that!” exclaimed the stall-holder, but Jeff already had . He handed over his money and said. “Bring ‘em on.”

 

This time Jeff sent the first duck flying off its hook. He swiftly reloaded and shot the next target a moment later. The third duck followed very soon after but Jeff was ready his shot was true. A crowd of onlookers¹⁸ applauded and Jeremy and Jemima jumped up and down shouting :

 

“Yeah for Uncle Jeff ! “

 

The store holder protested that he must have cheated, but Jeremy said rather menacingly “I wouldn’t argue with Uncle Jeff if I were you.” The man slowly pulled a cheque book from his pocket, and Uncle Jeff said.

 

“I’ll take cash thanks.”

 

When Jeff had counted the notes and checked each watermark against the light, he placed the wadge into the pocket of Jeremy’s denim¹⁹ jacket. “Give that to your Dad,” he said. “An Easter present from the black sheep of the family.”

 

“Wow ! Dad will be delighted !” said Jeremy.

 

But Jemima wasn’t quite so sure. Perhaps Dad might think that Jeff was showing off.

 

She asked where Uncle Jeff had learned to shoot so well. “Here and there,” he said allusively²⁰, and then said in a hushed voice, “I was in the forces before I went into business.”

 

They were all in the best of spirits as they walked toward the car park. As they passed the conveniences, Uncle Jeff said: “I’ll just pop in here if you don’t mind,”

 

Jeremy and Jemima waited outside for their uncle. They were kind of surprised about winning the big prize, but when Uncle Jeff was around, you had to expect to be surprised. Perhaps for that reason alone, they should have been more on their guard. A sea of people was coming and going from the fair all the time, and they were already used to being jostled a little by the crowd. They didn’t realise until too late that they had been surrounded by a gang of youths on all sides. One of them was holding a knife and said:

 

“Hand it over.”

 

Jemima gave him her iPod.

 

“Come on. Don’t make me use this ! “ threatened the boy with the knife, jabbing it towards her brother.

 

And Jeremy reached into his pocket and handed over the £1000 in notes. A few moments later the boys had melted away into the crowd.

 

When Uncle Jeff returned, he found Jemima in tears and Jeremy hugging his sister and trying not to tremble.

 

“What’s happened?” he asked. But he had already guessed. He considered calling the police, but on balance thought it was better to get the children home to the parents rather than keep them hanging around for some officers to arrive. It was two very pale and shaking kids that he buckled²¹ into the cramped²² back seat of his Porsche.

 

Soon after they had left the car park, Jeremy exclaimed : “There ! That’s them !”

 

“Are you sure?” asked Jeff.

 

“He’s right,” said Jemima. I’d know them anywhere. But Uncle Jeff please don’t ….. “ but his foot was on already on the accelerator and the engine was roaring. As he passed the gang, he flung open the door and knocked one of them over with it. He skidded²³ to halt and leapt out of the car. The youths jumped over a fence into the park, but Jeff was over it and after them. Jeremy and Jemima looked round anxiously while cars hooted²⁴ at them for blocking the traffic. They saw Jeff rugby-tackle the one of the boys and the others turned and tried to kick and punch him. By the time a police van came speeding over the grass with its blue light flashing, Jeff had felled three of the boys and held a fourth in a headlock. Ten police officers jumped out of the van and arrested the boys, and Uncle Jeff.

 

At about 8 pm that evening, Mum heard a car’s wheels on the gravel²⁵ of the drive. She looked anxiously out of the window and was almost relieved to see a police car. A woman police officer opened the back door of the car to let out Jeremy and Jemima.

 

“So what happened this time?” asked Mum.

 

“Oh nothing much. Uncle Jeff got arrested,” said Jemima. “They let him go, but they are keeping  £1000 in ten pound notes as evidence. Uncle Jeff says Dad can have it after the the trial is over.”

 

“Arrested? Money? Trial ? I didn’t understand a word of that,” said Mum as she hugged both her children somewhat tearfully. “But I can say that your Uncle Jeff is never taking you to the Easter Fair again.”

1 dedicated   

adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的

参考例句：

• He dedicated his life to the cause of education.他献身于教育事业。
• His whole energies are dedicated to improve the design.他的全部精力都放在改进这项设计上了。

2 hymn   

n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌

参考例句：

• They sang a hymn of praise to God.他们唱着圣歌，赞美上帝。
• The choir has sung only two verses of the last hymn.合唱团只唱了最后一首赞美诗的两个段落。

3 mellow   

adj.柔和的；熟透的；v.变柔和；(使)成熟

参考例句：

• These apples are mellow at this time of year.每年这时节，苹果就熟透了。
• The colours become mellow as the sun went down.当太阳落山时，色彩变得柔和了。

4 generosity   

n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为

参考例句：

• We should match their generosity with our own.我们应该像他们一样慷慨大方。
• We adore them for their generosity.我们钦佩他们的慷慨。

5 carving   

n.雕刻品，雕花

参考例句：

• All the furniture in the room had much carving.房间里所有的家具上都有许多雕刻。
• He acquired the craft of wood carving in his native town.他在老家学会了木雕手艺。

6 knack   

n.诀窍，做事情的灵巧的，便利的方法

参考例句：

• He has a knack of teaching arithmetic.他教算术有诀窍。
• Making omelettes isn't difficult,but there's a knack to it.做煎蛋饼并不难，但有窍门。

7 untold   

adj.数不清的，无数的

参考例句：

• She has done untold damage to our chances.她给我们的机遇造成了不可估量的损害。
• They suffered untold terrors in the dark and huddled together for comfort.他们遭受着黑暗中的难以言传的种种恐怖，因而只好挤在一堆互相壮胆。

8 calamity   

n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件

参考例句：

• Even a greater natural calamity cannot daunt us. 再大的自然灾害也压不垮我们。
• The attack on Pearl Harbor was a crushing calamity.偷袭珍珠港(对美军来说)是一场毁灭性的灾难。

9 cuisine   

n.烹调，烹饪法

参考例句：

• This book is the definitive guide to world cuisine.这本书是世界美食的权威指南。
• This restaurant is renowned for its cuisine.这家餐馆以其精美的饭菜而闻名。

10 cacophony   

n.刺耳的声音

参考例句：

• All around was bubbling a cacophony of voices.周围人声嘈杂。
• The drivers behind him honked,and the cacophony grew louder.后面的司机还在按喇叭，且那刺耳的声音越来越大。

11 triangular   

adj.三角（形）的，三者间的

参考例句：

• It's more or less triangular plot of land.这块地略成三角形。
• One particular triangular relationship became the model of Simone's first novel.一段特殊的三角关系成了西蒙娜第一本小说的原型。

12 fluffy   

adj.有绒毛的，空洞的

参考例句：

• Newly hatched chicks are like fluffy balls.刚孵出的小鸡像绒毛球。
• The steamed bread is very fluffy.馒头很暄。

13 hoops   

n.箍( hoop的名词复数 )；（篮球）篮圈；（旧时儿童玩的）大环子；（两端埋在地里的）小铁弓

参考例句：

• a barrel bound with iron hoops 用铁箍箍紧的桶
• Hoops in Paris were wider this season and skirts were shorter. 在巴黎，这个季节的裙圈比较宽大，裙裾却短一些。 来自飘（部分）

14 holder   

n.持有者，占有者；(台，架等)支持物

参考例句：

• The holder of the office of chairman is reponsible for arranging meetings.担任主席职位的人负责安排会议。
• That runner is the holder of the world record for the hundred-yard dash.那位运动员是一百码赛跑世界纪录的保持者。

15 arcade   

n.拱廊；(一侧或两侧有商店的)通道

参考例句：

• At this time of the morning,the arcade was almost empty.在早晨的这个时候，拱廊街上几乎空无一人。
• In our shopping arcade,you can find different kinds of souvenir.在我们的拱廊市场，你可以发现许多的纪念品。

16 random   

adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动

参考例句：

• The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。

17 intervals   

n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息

参考例句：

• The forecast said there would be sunny intervals and showers. 预报间晴，有阵雨。
• Meetings take place at fortnightly intervals. 每两周开一次会。

18 onlookers   

n.旁观者，观看者( onlooker的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• A crowd of onlookers gathered at the scene of the crash. 在撞车地点聚集了一大群围观者。
• The onlookers stood at a respectful distance. 旁观者站在一定的距离之外，以示尊敬。

19 denim   

n.斜纹棉布；斜纹棉布裤，牛仔裤

参考例句：

• She wore pale blue denim shorts and a white denim work shirt.她穿着一条淡蓝色的斜纹粗棉布短裤，一件白粗布工作服上衣。
• Dennis was dressed in denim jeans.丹尼斯穿了一条牛仔裤。

20 allusively   

adj.暗指的，影射，间接提到

参考例句：

• an allusive style of writing 引经据典的写作风格
• The young schoolboy can not understand the allusive conversation of intellectual men. 这个年轻的学生听不懂文人们引经据典的谈话。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

21 buckled   

a. 有带扣的

参考例句：

• She buckled her belt. 她扣上了腰带。
• The accident buckled the wheel of my bicycle. 我自行车的轮子在事故中弄弯了。

22 cramped   

a.狭窄的

参考例句：

• The house was terribly small and cramped, but the agent described it as a bijou residence. 房子十分狭小拥挤，但经纪人却把它说成是小巧别致的住宅。
• working in cramped conditions 在拥挤的环境里工作

23 skidded   

v.（通常指车辆） 侧滑( skid的过去式和过去分词 )；打滑；滑行；（住在）贫民区

参考例句：

• The car skidded and hit a lamp post. 那辆汽车打滑撞上了路灯杆。
• The car skidded and overturned. 汽车打滑翻倒了。

24 hooted   

（使）作汽笛声响，作汽车喇叭声( hoot的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• An owl hooted nearby. 一只猫头鹰在附近啼叫。
• The crowd hooted and jeered at the speaker. 群众向那演讲人发出轻蔑的叫嚣和嘲笑。

25 gravel   

n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石

参考例句：

• We bought six bags of gravel for the garden path.我们购买了六袋碎石用来铺花园的小路。
• More gravel is needed to fill the hollow in the drive.需要更多的砾石来填平车道上的坑洼。