《复仇》第15期:冷笑话

 How many Harvard men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  需要多少哈佛精英才能拧下一下灯泡

I don't know. How many? 不知道  多少个

One, and the whole world just revolves¹ around him. 一个  他握着电灯泡  世界围着他转

One more? 再来一个吗

Drink or joke? 酒还是笑话

Either. Both. 任意一个  或者两个都来

Mm. Neither.I am just buzzed enough to find that last joke funny. 都算了吧  我都醉到觉得刚才的笑话很有趣了

One more, and I might think that you meant it. 再喝  我就会把你的话都当真了

But don't let me stop you. 不过别让我扫了你的兴

Oh, no, no. I've had about all the club soda² I can take. 没有没有  我喝了够多的苏打水了

You don't drink? 你不喝酒

Used to...epically³. 以前喝  喝的很厉害

I gotta admit, it's—it's nice meeting someone who never knew the old me. 我得承认能认识个不认识过去的我的人真不错

Yeah.I know the feeling. 是啊  我懂那种感觉

Double infinity⁴. 永恒的永恒

Something like that. 差不多

That's a long time. 那可是好长的时间

Daniel...your father and I are leaving. 丹尼尔  你父亲和我要走了

Thank you for a lovely party, Mrs. Grayson.It was great meeting both of you. 感谢您举办了个这么棒的派对  格雷森太太  遇见你们二位真是荣幸

Well, now that you've moved in next door,I suppose we'll be seeing a lot of you this summer.I'll expect you shortly, Daniel. 既然你搬到我们隔壁了  我想这个夏天应该会经常见到你  丹尼尔  你快点过来

Don't let my mom rattle⁵ you.Intimidation⁶ is practically a sign of endearment⁷ with her. 别被我妈吓倒了  虚张声势基本就是她的天性

I'd hate to be on her bad side. 我不想与她为敌

Yes, you would. 你肯定不想

I should go. 我该走了

Uh, I'm headed your way. You need a ride? 我跟你顺路  要搭顺风车吗

No, thanks.Maybe next time. 不用了  谢谢  下次吧

Till next time. 那等下次

 

1 revolves   

v.（使）旋转( revolve的第三人称单数 )；细想

参考例句：

• The earth revolves both round the sun and on its own axis. 地球既公转又自转。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Thus a wheel revolves on its axle. 于是，轮子在轴上旋转。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 soda   

n.苏打水；汽水

参考例句：

• She doesn't enjoy drinking chocolate soda.她不喜欢喝巧克力汽水。
• I will freshen your drink with more soda and ice cubes.我给你的饮料重加一些苏打水和冰块。

3 epically   

adv.史诗式地，宏伟地

参考例句：

• That74-year span clearly illustrates how consistently, epically bad the Yankees' recent pitching has been. 这74年来显示出洋基投手群的稳定性，也显示出最近投手的状况有多糟。 来自互联网

4 infinity   

n.无限，无穷，大量

参考例句：

• It is impossible to count up to infinity.不可能数到无穷大。
• Theoretically,a line can extend into infinity.从理论上来说直线可以无限地延伸。

5 rattle   

v.飞奔，碰响；激怒；n.碰撞声；拨浪鼓

参考例句：

• The baby only shook the rattle and laughed and crowed.孩子只是摇着拨浪鼓，笑着叫着。
• She could hear the rattle of the teacups.她听见茶具叮当响。

6 intimidation   

n.恐吓，威胁

参考例句：

• The Opposition alleged voter intimidation by the army.反对党声称投票者受到军方的恐吓。
• The gang silenced witnesses by intimidation.恶帮用恐吓的手段使得证人不敢说话。

7 endearment   

n.表示亲爱的行为

参考例句：

• This endearment indicated the highest degree of delight in the old cooper.这个称呼是老箍桶匠快乐到了极点的表示。
• To every endearment and attention he continued listless.对于每一种亲爱的表示和每一种的照顾，他一直漫不在意。