经典双语笑话 第45期:头脑要保持冷静

 Keep Your Head 头脑要保持冷静!

A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery¹ store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage. 有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作，一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜。

"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. " “先生，我们东西都没有卖半颗的。”

"Well, I insist, I only want half a head. " “哎呀，我就买半颗，我只要半颗。”

"I'll ask the manager. " “我要问问经理才行。”

The young man walked to the manager's office, 那名年轻人走到经理的办公室，

and not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager, 不知道那位顾客尾随着他，他对经理说道：

"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. " “经理，有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。”

Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added², 他转身发现那名顾客，立刻又补充说：

"And this gentleman wants the other half. " “而这位先生要买另一半。”

Later, the manager took the young man aside and said, 稍后，经理把他拉到一旁说道：

"That was quick thinking, young fellow.  “年轻人，你反应真快。

We can use bright lads like you.  我们需要像你这么聪明的人，

If I hear of a higher position opening up, I'll keep you in mind. " 如果有较高的职位空缺，我会记得你的。”

Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager's spot had become vacant³ in the company's store in Edmonton. 几个星期之后，经理告诉那名年轻人在艾得蒙敦分店有个经理的职位空缺。

"Edmonton!" blurted⁴ out the young man.  “艾得蒙敦!”年轻人叫了出来，

"Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers and hockey, event hockey players， “那儿有的只是妓女和曲棍球选手而已。”

"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! " “年轻人，我太太刚好来自艾得蒙敦!”

"No kidding, sir?  “真的吗?经理，

what posltion does she play?" 那她是打哪一个位置呢?”

1.walked to 向...走去

例句：I walked to the window, across the room, then close up to her.

我从屋子这头，走到屋子那头的窗口，然后靠近她。

2.take aside 把...叫到一边

例句：Please address me respectfully⁵ and take me aside to discuss criticisms⁶ in private.

请尊重我，把我叫到一边私下里提出你的批评。”

3.open up 打开；空闲

例句：Not only do you get to broaden⁷ your experiences of life, you open up many doors for the future.

这不但能拓展你的人生阅历，而且能为你的未来生活打开许多扇门。

4.keep in mind 记住；留意

例句：You have to keep in mind that your audience is coming in cold.

你要记住听众是没有准备的。

1 grocery   

n.食品，杂货；食品杂货店

参考例句：

• There used to be a grocery store on the corner.以前在这个街角有家杂货店。
• Her mother began operation of a small grocery.她母亲开始经营一家小杂货店。

2 added   

adj.更多的，附加的，额外的

参考例句：

• They have added a new scene at the beginning.在开头他们又增加了一场戏。
• The pop music added to our enjoyment of the film.片中的流行音乐使我们对这部电影更加喜爱。

3 vacant   

adj.未被占用的，空着的；空缺的

参考例句：

• A job fell vacant in the accounting department.财会部出现了一个空缺。
• He stared into space with a vacant expression.他茫然地凝视着天空。

4 blurted   

v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She blurted it out before I could stop her. 我还没来得及制止，她已脱口而出。
• He blurted out the truth, that he committed the crime. 他不慎说出了真相，说是他犯了那个罪。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 respectfully   

adv.恭敬地；此致敬礼

参考例句：

• People respectfully called him the venerable Zhu.人们尊称他为朱老。
• We respectfully request your guidance.敬祈指导。

6 criticisms   

批评( criticism的名词复数 )； 批判； 评论； 评论文章

参考例句：

• His criticisms of the president stirred up a hornet's nest. 他对董事长的批评造成众愤难平。
• It would be wise not to give undue importance to his criticisms. 最好不要过分看重他的批评。

7 broaden   

v.放宽，变宽，扩大

参考例句：

• We broaden in experiences by traveling.旅行增长我们的经验。
• Let's broaden out the discussion to talk about education as a whole.我们来扩大一下讨论范围，全面谈谈教育问题。