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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Opening Credits
play pause stop mute unmute max volume 00:0012:29repeat repeat off Update Required To play the media you will need to either update your browser1 to a recent version or update your Flash plugin. OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
From NPR and WNYC, this is ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and I'm here in studio with house musician Jonathan Coulton 'cause this week, we're dedicating an hour to a special theme, TV, TV on the radio. That's right, it's our first and only television show on the radio. It's about time, I'd say. We're going to be revisiting some of our favorite games about television. And we're going to be playing a brand-new game with one lucky phone contestant2. Jonathan, is there a show that you wish had its own spinoff, like "The Walking Dead" has “Fear The Walking Dead?"
JONATHAN COULTON: Yeah. I feel like when they did a spinoff of "Walking Dead," they missed a great opportunity.
EISENBERG: Oh, yeah?
COULTON: Well, what they should have done is done a spinoff where it's just about one of the zombies.
EISENBERG: The life of the zombie?
COULTON: The life of the zombie. It's just its day-to-day life. You follow him around. He's kind of shuffling3 for maybe 20 minutes in the show. And he hears a noise, and he goes, he checks it out, it's nothing. But sometimes it's a person. "Walking Dead: Miami," "Walking Dead: SVU..."
COULTON: "Walking Dead: Las Vegas" - oh, brilliant. So in this game, we play a word game in which we create television show spinoffs. Let's see how well contestants4 Carmine5 Giovino and Annie Brogan do in this game.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)
COULTON: Puzzle guru John Chaneski, please give us an example.
JOHN CHANESKI: Sheriff Rick Grimes thought that zombies in America were tough. But now he's fighting meat puppets on a lake in the Middle East that's got so much salt in it, the zombies float. That would be a summary for "The Walking Dead Sea."
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: So it's a bit of a mash-up, a bit of a pun. It will always start with the name of an actual television show with some extra stuff jammed onto the end...
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: ...Elegantly. Are you ready?
ANNIE BROGAN: Let's do it.
CARMINE GIOVINO: Let's do it.
COULTON: OK. Down on their luck, the Dunphys and the Pritchetts go on a popular game show and suddenly find themselves undefeated champions. Will their hilarious7 answers to survey questions ever end?
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
COULTON: Annie.
BROGAN: "Modern Family Feud8."
COULTON: You got it.
(APPLAUSE)
COULTON: In this prequel spinoff, we discover the real reason Walter White started his meth empire - years of exposure to chemicals gave him chronic9 halitosis.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
COULTON: Annie.
BROGAN: "Breaking Bad Breath?"
COULTON: That's right.
(APPLAUSE)
COULTON: Sort of a limited idea for a series, but...
EISENBERG: I love it. It's like who cares about your breath when you have meth teeth, I guess the...
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: Your breath is sort of the least of your worries.
EISENBERG: Exactly.
COULTON: To make up for a series finale that was hated by its fans, Ted6 Mosby and Robin10 begin telling the kids the story of how they purchased a liberal political magazine and launched a media empire.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
COULTON: Annie.
BROGAN: "How I Met Your Mother Jones."
COULTON: Nice.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: People are impressed by that. They're like, oh, that sounds like a show I would like.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: Upon regenerating11 for the 12th time, our title character's tardis - that's a hint - is pulled to New York City, where he is challenged to answer increasingly difficult multiple-choice questions to win a life-changing amount of money.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Oh, Carmine, you don't know?
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
EISENBERG: You're just giving it to Annie?
COULTON: Carmine is like go ahead, Annie.
BROGAN: "Doctor Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"
COULTON: That's right.
(APPLAUSE)
GIOVINO: This was my biggest fear.
(LAUGHTER)
GIOVINO: Not just about this show in general. This was my biggest fear.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: In your life.
GIOVINO: Yeah.
COULTON: When Peter Griffin leaves this animated12 show to pursue other opportunities, he is replaced by a British director whose ex-wife Madonna makes frequent appearances in cutaway gags.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
GIOVINO: Yes.
COULTON: Carmine.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
COULTON: Great job, Carmine.
GIOVINO: I don't want to screw this up now - "Family Guy Ritchie."
COULTON: That's right.
EISENBERG: Yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
GIOVINO: I'm on the board.
COULTON: That's Carmine, ladies and gentlemen...
EISENBERG: Yeah.
COULTON: ...Buzzer13 number two. To make peace with their human counterparts, the vampires14 of Bon Temp form a medical supply company and embark15 on a noble challenge to create a device that makes the most accurate systolic and diastolic measurements ever.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
COULTON: Carmine.
GIOVINO: "True Blood Drive?" "True Blood Machine."
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: No, those are both wrong.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: Annie, do you have a guess?
BROGAN: I do and it's only because he said "True Blood," so thank you.
GIOVINO: You're welcome. Do I get half a point?
COULTON: Story of your life, Carmine.
BROGAN: "True Blood Pressure Gauge16?"
COULTON: Just True Blood Pressure would have done it.
BROGAN: Oh, OK.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Wait, wait, wait, it's where you go if you are feeling twilight-headed.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: Wow.
EISENBERG: Come on.
COULTON: Wow, that was pretty good. That was pretty good. All right, this is your last question. In the season finale, Frank Underwood attempts to undermine his opponents chances at winning the presidency17 by filming him playing an offensive fill-in-the-blank party game with wealthy donors18.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
COULTON: Carmine.
GIOVINO: "House Of Cards Against Humanity?"
COULTON: That's right.
(APPLAUSE)
COULTON: John Chaneski, how did our contestants do?
CHANESKI: Well, he made a big push at the end, but I'm afraid our winner today of Spinoffs is Annie. Way to go, Annie.
(APPLAUSE)
COULTON: The sad thing about all TV shows is that they have to win sometimes, except, of course, for "The Simpsons." That show is going to outlast19 us all. But the best thing a TV show creator can hope for is that you know when the end is coming and you can write a fitting last episode.
EISENBERG: Sometimes, that episode is amazing, like Don Draper sitting on the top of a mountain.
COULTON: Whoa.
EISENBERG: Oh, sorry.
COULTON: That's a spoiler.
EISENBERG: Spoiler.
And other times, the ending gets a little weird20. So in the game, we quizzed James Gallen and Adar Eisenbruch on series finales that were a little controversial.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)
COULTON: You ready?
EISENBERG: The family matriarch sits with her typewriter in the basement. A voiceover tells us that she never won the lottery21. It was just a fantasy. Worse, we find out that Dan has been dead for the entire last season. Mrs. Connor curls up on a ratty couch, turns on the TV as a quote from "Lawrence Of Arabia" flashes on the screen.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
EISENBERG: James.
JAMES GALLEN: "Roseanne."
EISENBERG: That is correct, "Roseanne."
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: It was a weird one.
GALLEN: Oh, I love "Roseanne." That was, like, the best show growing up. I wasn't allowed to watch it 'cause I was too little, but I used to sneak22 in.
EISENBERG: And they thought you would be influenced by that show in a bad way.
GALLEN: You know, working-class - I don't think it was, like, a bad thing.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: You don't want to show kids a lot of working-class stuff.
GALLEN: We just watched "Dynasty" and went, yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: Aspirational23 television.
EISENBERG: People who work nine-to-five jobs are beneath you, James.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Did you grow up really rich, James?
GALLEN: No. And I'm unemployed24 now. So...
EISENBERG: OK.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: So...
COULTON: Our leading man takes his sister off life support and dumps her body in the ocean. Days later, we find out that he is dead, too - fade to black. But wait - suddenly, we're in the Pacific Northwest where our hero is hiding out, working as a truck driver. His beard is longer, and he's wearing flannel25.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
COULTON: James.
GALLEN: "Dexter."
COULTON: "Dexter" is correct.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: I love a disguise where your beard is just longer.
COULTON: Right. I'm wearing that right now.
EISENBERG: Yeah, you're wearing - yeah. Our protagonist26 walks down a busy New York street in the same fur coat she wore in the series premiere. Her pink cellphone rings. She checks the caller ID, and finally, we learn that Mr. Big's real first name is - wait for it - John.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
EISENBERG: James.
GALLEN: "Sex And The City."
EISENBERG: "Sex And The City," yep.
(APPLAUSE)
GALLEN: My wife watched that movie every day for, like, a year - the one, not two.
EISENBERG: Yeah, thank you. Thank you.
(LAUGHTER)
WILL HINES: She has standards.
EISENBERG: Yeah, that is - thank goodness.
HINES: No working-class people in it either, so both...
(LAUGHTER)
HINES: ...Both spouses27 are happy.
EISENBERG: Still OK, still OK.
GALLEN: Safe - safe to watch.
(APPLAUSE)
COULTON: The citizens of Walnut28 Grove29, Minn., discover that their small town has been purchased by a rich robber baron30. In a bizarre attempt to preserve their dignity, Laura and the townsfolk elect to blow up their own homes. We watch everything explode.
I remember watching this. It was weird.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
GALLEN: "Twin Peaks."
COULTON: That's a fine guess, but it's incorrect. Adar, do you know the answer?
ADAR EISENBRUCH: There's a chance that I misrepresented my skill set during the application process.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
EISENBRUCH: I don't know the answer.
COULTON: I have never watched television. I do not know what television is.
HINES: Yeah. Not a day goes by that I don't think the same thing.
EISENBERG: I know. Do you watch a lot of television?
EISENBRUCH: Well, I thought I did but, apparently31, not nearly enough.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: You're wasting all your time in grad school.
EISENBRUCH: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: You got to be unemployed like James.
EISENBERG: See.
COULTON: You'll have plenty time for television.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: The answer we were looking for was "Little House On The Prairie."
EISENBERG: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
COULTON: Bizarre way to end that series.
EISENBERG: We're in present-day New York City. Everyone's married to or about to get married to their high school sweetheart. After six years of guessing, we finally find out which character Kristen Bell was performing her voiceover for, and it was a guy.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
EISENBERG: James.
GALLEN: "Gossip Girl."
EISENBERG: Yes, indeed.
COULTON: Wow.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBRUCH: I don't feel bad that he got it all.
(LAUGHTER)
GALLEN: I feel bad that I got it.
COULTON: This children's series ends with Earl Sinclair gathering32 his family in the living room. He tells his children that his attempts to tamper33 with nature have set about the end of the world. What's going to happen to us? - his adorable baby asks. The snow outside the window answers the question. Global cooling has doomed34 their entire species.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
COULTON: James.
COULTON: "Dinosaurs," are you kidding me?
GALLEN: I have nothing to do.
(LAUGHTER)
HINES: Who knew that "Gossip Girl" and "Dinosaurs" was reaching the same demographic?
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: You're breaking all the models, James. This is fantastic.
GALLEN: I'm a Renaissance36 man.
COULTON: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: I would like to give you a job right now, James.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTON: Will you watch television for me?
GALLEN: I will.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Yeah, you could do coverage37 or something at the very least.
COULTON: Something, yeah.
EISENBERG: Scheduling - maybe scheduling would be good for you 'cause you're, like, 8 a.m., I watch "Dinosaurs."
(LAUGHTER)
GALLEN: I don't get up until noon.
(LAUGHTER)
HINES: You're not not selling us.
EISENBERG: Yeah, you're just bragging38 now, really.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: All right. We're in church. Nearly all of the show's main characters, including deceased ones, hug and exchange meaningful looks. But no one says a word. Cut to the bamboo forest where our bleeding protagonist is taking his final breath. Now we're back in church as blinding light swallows the scene. The last shot - Jack's eye closes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
GALLEN: Sorry.
EISENBERG: James.
GALLEN: "Lost."
EISENBERG: "Lost" is correct, yes.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Will Hines.
(LAUGHTER)
HINES: I mean, in the realms of honesty, they were both winners.
(LAUGHTER)
HINES: But...
EISENBRUCH: Thank you.
HINES: ...In terms of knowing - maybe an unflattering amount about the end of a lot of television series...
(LAUGHTER)
HINES: ...James was the clear winner. So, James, well done. You're moving on to the final round.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Coming up after the break, we get comfortable with someone who really does have the dream job of getting paid to watch television. I'm talking New Yorker television columnist39 Emily Nussbaum and indie rock band They Might Be Giants joins Jonathan Coulton in reviving some classic TV themes. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF JESSICA PARE SONG, "ZOU BISOUS BISOUS")
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1
browser
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| n.浏览者 | |
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contestant
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| n.竞争者，参加竞赛者 | |
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shuffling
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| adj. 慢慢移动的, 滑移的 动词shuffle的现在分词形式 | |
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contestants
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| n.竞争者，参赛者( contestant的名词复数 ) | |
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carmine
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| n.深红色，洋红色 | |
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ted
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| vt.翻晒，撒，撒开 | |
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hilarious
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| adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed | |
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feud
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| n.长期不和；世仇；v.长期争斗；世代结仇 | |
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chronic
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| adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的 | |
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robin
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| n.知更鸟，红襟鸟 | |
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regenerating
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| v.新生，再生( regenerate的现在分词 )；正反馈 | |
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animated
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| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
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buzzer
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| n.蜂鸣器；汽笛 | |
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vampires
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| n.吸血鬼( vampire的名词复数 )；吸血蝠；高利贷者；（舞台上的）活板门 | |
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embark
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| vi.乘船，着手，从事，上飞机 | |
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gauge
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| v.精确计量；估计；n.标准度量；计量器 | |
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presidency
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| n.总统(校长，总经理)的职位(任期) | |
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donors
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| n.捐赠者( donor的名词复数 )；献血者；捐血者；器官捐献者 | |
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outlast
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| v.较…耐久 | |
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weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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lottery
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| n.抽彩；碰运气的事，难于算计的事 | |
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sneak
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| vt.潜行(隐藏,填石缝)；偷偷摸摸做；n.潜行；adj.暗中进行 | |
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aspirational
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| 志同的，有抱负的 | |
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unemployed
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| adj.失业的，没有工作的；未动用的，闲置的 | |
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flannel
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| n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服 | |
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protagonist
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| n.(思想观念的)倡导者；主角，主人公 | |
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spouses
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| n.配偶，夫或妻( spouse的名词复数 ) | |
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walnut
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| n.胡桃，胡桃木，胡桃色，茶色 | |
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grove
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| n.林子，小树林，园林 | |
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baron
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| n.男爵；(商业界等)巨头，大王 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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tamper
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| v.干预，玩弄，贿赂，窜改，削弱，损害 | |
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doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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dinosaurs
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| n.恐龙( dinosaur的名词复数 )；守旧落伍的人，过时落后的东西 | |
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renaissance
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| n.复活，复兴，文艺复兴 | |
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coverage
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| n.报导，保险范围，保险额，范围，覆盖 | |
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bragging
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| v.自夸，吹嘘( brag的现在分词 )；大话 | |
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columnist
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| n.专栏作家 | |
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