人物:逃离山达基(3)

 Less than a year later LeClair met Sean Seward, a struggling actor, whom she persuaded to join the church. 不到一年之后，勒克莱尔遇到了肖恩·苏厄德，一个正在上升时期的演员，她说服他加入了教会。

Though she says she wasn't attracted to him, they got along well and wed¹ in 1994. 虽然她说她不喜欢他，但他们相处得很好，并于1994年结婚。

She began working as a regional manager at a non-Scientology-run life-insurance company, but even as her career took off and the couple had children, her marriage was foundering². 她开始在一家非山达基教徒经营的人寿保险公司担任区域经理，但就在她的事业起步并有了孩子的时候，她的婚姻却在走下坡路。

Sean became increasingly aggressive and confrontational³. Our arguments were mostly about money and sex. 肖恩变得越来越好斗，喜欢与人作对。我们的争论主要是关于金钱和性。

He called me vile⁴ names: F---ing liar⁵! Suppressive. B--ch. He threw things at me—pillows, keys. 他骂我卑鄙无耻：该死的骗子！强势！婊子！他朝我扔东西——枕头、钥匙。

But this good little Scientologist couldn't let anyone know how bad I was feeling. 但这位善良的山达基小教徒却不能让任何人知道我的感受有多糟糕。

I knew what my mom would say—what every Scientologist would say: "There are no such things as problems, just situations and solutions." 我知道我妈妈会说什么——每一个山达基教徒都会说：“没有问题，只有情况和解决方案。”

What are you withholding⁷ from Sean, Michelle? What have you done to cause this? 米歇尔，你对肖恩隐瞒了什么？你做了什么造成今天这个局面？

After running into the high school girlfriend with whom she'd had a dalliance, she confessed her past attraction to Seward, who reported it to the church. 在遇到和她有过一段风流韵事的高中女友后，她向苏厄德坦白了过去对她的爱慕之情，苏厄德向教会报告了这件事。

I was ordered to walk the halls of the Scientology Celebrity⁸ Centre in Hollywood asking random⁹ members to read and sign my confession¹⁰. 我奉命在好莱坞山达基名人中心的大厅里来回走动，随机邀请成员阅读我的供词并签名。

I needed twenty-five signatures to be allowed to rejoin the church. 我需要25个签名才能重新加入教会。

I was so mortified¹¹ that, after ten or fifteen requests, I ran to the bathroom and sobbed¹². 我非常羞愧，在十到十五次请求之后，我跑到洗手间哭泣。

Her career, meanwhile, was reaching ever-greater heights: She became a top manager and producer at another life-insurance firm and was soon making "more money than I could spend." 与此同时，她的事业也达到了前所未有的高度：她成为了另一家人寿保险公司的高级经理兼执行人，很快就赚到了“我花不完的钱”。

She donated large sums to the church (she estimates a total of $5 million) and was asked to head the church's foundation promoting the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights. 她向教会捐了一大笔钱(她估计总共捐了500万美元)，并受邀请领导教会的基金会，推广联合国世界人权宣言。

The church finally agreed to let her divorce Seward, but only, she says, after she threatened to withhold⁶ donations. 教会最终同意让她与苏厄德离婚，但也是在她威胁撤资之后。

Yet she remained committed to Scientology—until she struck up a friendship with an L.A. music producer named Tena Clark ("Charley" in the book). 然而，她仍然忠于山达基——直到她和洛杉矶的一位名叫特纳·克拉克(Tena Clark)的音乐制作人(书中的“查理”)成为朋友。

My friendship with her began to break down some of my beliefs. 我和她的友谊开始打破我的一些信仰。

The idea that the church would deny me a friendship with such a sterling¹³ person simply because she wasn't heterosexual or a Scientologist seemed ludicrous to me. 当时认为教会会因为她不是异性恋或山达基教教徒，不允许我与这个优秀的人建立友谊，那个想法在我看来很可笑。

Gradually, the friendship blossomed into something more. She and Charley exchanged their first kiss while sitting in LeClair's car one day. 渐渐地，友谊发展出了别样的东西。一天，两个人坐在勒克莱尔的车里，交换了她们的初吻。

It was the most passionate¹⁴, loving kiss I had ever experienced. I reached up and touched my lips. It was as though they had been awakened¹⁵. 这是我经历过的最热烈、最深情的一吻。我伸手摸了摸嘴唇。它们好像被唤醒了。

I talked myself into believing that, because I was a top donor¹⁶, my relationship with a woman would be tolerated, or at least ignored. 我说服自己相信，因为我是最大的捐赠者，我和一个女人恋爱会受到原谅，或者至少被忽视。

I couldn't have been more mistaken. My Scientology mentor¹⁷ outed me to the church Ethics¹⁸ Department. She decided¹⁹ to leave the church. 我大错特错了。我的山达基教导师让我去了教会道德系。她决定离开教会。

1 wed   

v.娶，嫁，与…结婚

参考例句：

• The couple eventually wed after three year engagement.这对夫妇在订婚三年后终于结婚了。
• The prince was very determined to wed one of the king's daughters.王子下定决心要娶国王的其中一位女儿。

2 foundering   

v.创始人( founder的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The lifeboat soon got abreast of the foundering ship. 救生艇很快就赶到了那艘正在下沉的船旁。 来自互联网
• With global climate-change negotiations foundering, the prospects of raising cash for REDD that way look poor. 由于就全球气候变化的谈判破裂，通过这种方式来为REDD集资前景堪忧。 来自互联网

3 confrontational   

adj.挑衅的；对抗的

参考例句：

• Fans love rappers partly because they strike such a confrontational pose. 乐迷热爱这些饶舌艺人一定程度上是因为他们所采取的那种战斗姿态。 来自互联网
• You prefer a non confrontational approach when it comes to resolving disputes. 面对争端，你不喜欢采用对抗性的手段来解决。 来自互联网

4 vile   

adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的

参考例句：

• Who could have carried out such a vile attack?会是谁发起这么卑鄙的攻击呢？
• Her talk was full of vile curses.她的话里充满着恶毒的咒骂。

5 liar   

n.说谎的人

参考例句：

• I know you for a thief and a liar!我算认识你了，一个又偷又骗的家伙！
• She was wrongly labelled a liar.她被错误地扣上说谎者的帽子。

6 withhold   

v.拒绝，不给；使停止，阻挡

参考例句：

• It was unscrupulous of their lawyer to withhold evidence.他们的律师隐瞒证据是不道德的。
• I couldn't withhold giving some loose to my indignation.我忍不住要发泄一点我的愤怒。

7 withholding   

扣缴税款

参考例句：

• She was accused of withholding information from the police. 她被指控对警方知情不报。
• The judge suspected the witness was withholding information. 法官怀疑见证人在隐瞒情况。

8 celebrity   

n.名人，名流；著名，名声，名望

参考例句：

• Tom found himself something of a celebrity. 汤姆意识到自己已小有名气了。
• He haunted famous men, hoping to get celebrity for himself. 他常和名人在一起, 希望借此使自己获得名气。

9 random   

adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动

参考例句：

• The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。

10 confession   

n.自白，供认，承认

参考例句：

• Her confession was simply tantamount to a casual explanation.她的自白简直等于一篇即席说明。
• The police used torture to extort a confession from him.警察对他用刑逼供。

11 mortified   

v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等）

参考例句：

• She was mortified to realize he had heard every word she said. 她意识到自己的每句话都被他听到了，直羞得无地自容。
• The knowledge of future evils mortified the present felicities. 对未来苦难的了解压抑了目前的喜悦。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 sobbed   

哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说

参考例句：

• She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
• She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。

13 sterling   

adj.英币的(纯粹的，货真价实的)；n.英国货币(英镑)

参考例句：

• Could you tell me the current rate for sterling, please?能否请您告诉我现行英国货币的兑换率？
• Sterling has recently been strong,which will help to abate inflationary pressures.英国货币最近非常坚挺，这有助于减轻通胀压力。

14 passionate   

adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的

参考例句：

• He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
• He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。

15 awakened   

v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到

参考例句：

• She awakened to the sound of birds singing. 她醒来听到鸟的叫声。
• The public has been awakened to the full horror of the situation. 公众完全意识到了这一状况的可怕程度。 来自《简明英汉词典》

16 donor   

n.捐献者；赠送人；(组织、器官等的)供体

参考例句：

• In these cases,the recipient usually takes care of the donor afterwards.在这类情况下，接受捐献者以后通常会照顾捐赠者。
• The Doctor transplanted the donor's heart to Mike's chest cavity.医生将捐赠者的心脏移植进麦克的胸腔。

17 mentor   

n.指导者，良师益友；v.指导

参考例句：

• He fed on the great ideas of his mentor.他以他导师的伟大思想为支撑。
• He had mentored scores of younger doctors.他指导过许多更年轻的医生。

18 ethics   

n.伦理学；伦理观，道德标准

参考例句：

• The ethics of his profession don't permit him to do that.他的职业道德不允许他那样做。
• Personal ethics and professional ethics sometimes conflict.个人道德和职业道德有时会相互抵触。

19 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。