人物:蒂娜·特纳-我从未谈及的秘密(2)

 When he finished, I laid there with a swollen¹ head, thinking, "You're pregnant and you have no place to go. You really have gotten yourself into something now." 结束之后，我躺在那里，头肿了起来，心想：“你怀孕了，没地方可去。你现在可麻烦大了。”

Our life together was a mockery of a "normal" relationship: defined by abuse and fear, not love, or even affection. 我们在一起的生活是对“正常”关系的一种嘲弄：以虐待和恐惧为定义，而不是爱，甚至不是喜欢。

Tina became the Revue's star, but it was Ike who pocketed the money. 蒂娜成了组合的明星，但把钱据为己有的却是艾克。

She gave birth to their son Ronnie in October 1960 and took on mothering Ike's older sons, Ike Jr. and Michael. 1960年10月，她生下了他们的儿子罗尼(Ronnie)，并开始照顾艾克的两个大儿子小艾克(Ike Jr.)和迈克尔(Michael)。

She and Ike finally married in Tijuana in 1962. As long as Ike was in down-and-dirty Tijuana, he wanted to have fun, his kind of fun. 她和艾克最终于1962年在提华纳结婚。只要艾克在又脏又乱的蒂华纳，他就想找乐子，他那种乐趣。

Guess where we went after we visited the Mexican version of a justice of the peace? To a whorehouse. On my wedding night! 猜猜我们去了墨西哥版的《和平法官》之后去了哪里？一个妓院。在我新婚之夜！

I've never, ever, told anyone this story because I was too embarrassed. Their fame grew, but Ike's abuse continued, and she felt helpless to leave. 我从来没有告诉过任何人这个故事，因为我太尴尬了。他们的名声越来越大，但艾克的虐待仍在继续，她感到无助，无法离开。

At my lowest, I convinced myself that death was my only way out. I actually tried to kill myself in 1968. I went to my doctor and told him I was having trouble sleeping. 在最低潮的时候，我相信死亡是我唯一的出路。实际上我在1968年就想自杀。我去看医生，告诉他我睡眠有问题。

Right after dinner, I took all fifty of the pills he gave me. I was unhappy when I woke up. But I came out of the darkness believing I was meant to survive. 一吃完晚饭，我就把他给我的50粒药全吃完了。我醒来时很不高兴。但我从黑暗中走出来，相信我命中注定要活下去。

In July 1976, after one of what she describes as his "fiveday cocaine² benders," Ike beat her for refusing to eat a melted chocolate bar. 1976年7月，艾克在一次她所描述的“连续五天吸食可卡因的行为”之后，因为她拒绝吃融化的巧克力棒而痛打了她一顿。

Tina walked out of the hotel they were in, ran across Interstate 30 to a Ramada Inn and, from there, stayed with a series of friends. 蒂娜走出他们住的旅馆，穿过30号州际公路来到一家华美达旅馆，从那里，她和几个朋友住在一起。

She ultimately took the kids and left permanently³, appearing on TV variety and game shows to pay the bills. 最终，她带着孩子永久离开了，上各种电视综艺节目和游戏节目，维持生活。

When Tina and Ike divorced in 1978, she recouped none of the money she'd made for Ike. I told the judge, "It's only blood money. I want nothing." 1978年蒂娜和艾克离婚时，她自己赚的钱一分也没拿到。我告诉法官，“只是血汗钱。我什么都不想要。”

I did have one request. I wanted to continue using the name "Tina Turner," which Ike owned. 我有一个要求。我想继续使用艾克拥有的“蒂娜·特纳”这个名字。

I walked out of that courtroom with the name Tina Turner and my two Jaguars⁴, one from Sammy Davis, Jr. and one from Ike, and that's it. 我带着蒂娜·特纳的名字和我的两辆捷豹走出法庭，一辆是小萨米·戴维斯送的，一辆是艾克送的，仅此而已。

It seems so funny now—no money for food or rent, but two Jaguars! Considering my age, 39, my gender⁵, my color, and the times we lived in, everything was strong winds against me. 现在看起来很有趣——没有钱买食物和房租，只有两辆捷豹！考虑到我39岁的年龄、性别、肤色和所处的时代，一切都对我不利。

But you keep going. Her 1984 solo album Private Dancer made her a star again, winning her three Grammys. 但是你要继续。1984年，她的个人专辑“Private Dancer”让她再次成为明星，赢得了三项格莱美奖。

She sold out stadiums where her typical encore was a version of ZZ Top's "Legs"—a nod to the attention her own legs, to her bafflement, always garnered⁶. 她在体育场演出的票都卖光了，常见的安可是翻唱ZZ Top的《美腿》(Legs)，——这是对她自己的腿、对她的困惑的一种肯定。

1 swollen   

adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀

参考例句：

• Her legs had got swollen from standing up all day.因为整天站着，她的双腿已经肿了。
• A mosquito had bitten her and her arm had swollen up.蚊子叮了她，她的手臂肿起来了。

2 cocaine   

n.可卡因，古柯碱（用作局部麻醉剂）

参考例句：

• That young man is a cocaine addict.那个年轻人吸食可卡因成瘾。
• Don't have cocaine abusively.不可滥服古柯碱。

3 permanently   

adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地

参考例句：

• The accident left him permanently scarred.那次事故给他留下了永久的伤疤。
• The ship is now permanently moored on the Thames in London.该船现在永久地停泊在伦敦泰晤士河边。

4 jaguars   

n.（中、南美洲的）美洲虎( jaguar的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Jaguars are largely nocturnal creatures. 美洲虎基本上是夜行动物。 来自辞典例句
• Jaguars (Panthera onca) once ranged from southern South America to theUnited States. 美洲虎曾经分布在北美洲南部和美洲南部。 来自互联网

5 gender   

n.（生理上的）性，（名词、代词等的）性

参考例句：

• French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法语不同于英语，所有的名词都有性。
• Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.妇女有时仅仅因为性别而无法获得种种机会。

6 garnered   

v.收集并（通常）贮藏（某物），取得，获得( garner的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Mr. Smith gradually garnered a national reputation as a financial expert. 史密斯先生逐渐赢得全国金融专家的声誉。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He has garnered extensive support for his proposals. 他的提议得到了广泛的支持。 来自辞典例句