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[00:02.92]She’s not qualified. She’s just a sophomore.
[00:04.80]Did you know that?
[00:05.80]Calm down, Tracy. Just calm down.
[00:07.55]We can’t both run, can we?
[00:09.18]I mean, we’re brother and sister.
[00:10.52]Can we?
[00:11.60]It’s a conflict of interest, and Paul was first.
[00:13.56]Anybody who gets signatures in on time can run,
[00:15.90]and she got in just under the wire.
[00:19.73]These are a bunch of burnouts.
[00:21.94]And what’s this one? It’s illegible.
[00:24.07]I can’t even read that.
[00:25.41]That’s Tim... Cobsa.
[00:27.41]She’s doing this to get back at me.
[00:29.83]For what?
[00:30.79]I mean, at you.
[00:33.16]For what?
[00:34.62]Tim Cobsa?
[00:36.50]Tim Cobsa? Who’s he? I’ve never even heard of him.
[00:39.46]Look, why don’t we just forget about Tammy?
00:41.30]We’ll have the assembly tomorrow.
[00:42.71]Everybody can make their speeches,
[00:44.17]and I’m sure everything’s gonna be just fine.
[00:46.68]Hey! Whee!
[00:47.55]Jim, don’t. You’re scaring him.
[00:49.93]Nah. He likes it.
[00:51.81]Not that much.
[00:52.81]Around that time,
[00:54.27]Diane and I were hanging out a lot
[00:56.19]at Linda Novotny’s house,
[00:57.40]giving her our love and support
[00:59.52]and helping her make it through a difficult time.
[01:07.70]Diane really wanted to have kids,
[01:10.08]and so did I,
[01:11.37]but it seemed like there was always a reason to wait:
[01:13.91]She had to finish nursing school,
[01:15.83]I had to get my master’s,
[01:17.29]we needed a new house, we needed more money.
[01:20.17]Finally, we just decided to go for it.
[01:22.46]You gonna do it?
[01:23.76]You gonna do it?
[01:25.17]And for over a year, we hadn’t had any luck.
[01:28.30]Come on. Do it. Do it.
[01:30.68]Fill me up. Come on.
[01:32.56]Fill me up.
[01:34.47]Fill me up.
[01:43.57]OK.
[01:49.82]Good job.
[01:58.46]Say, Jim?
[02:01.08]Jim, can you get this?
[02:02.59]I can’t.
[02:03.75]Oh, yeah, sure.
[02:05.17]Just put it on the table.
[02:07.09]All right.
[02:12.35]Without Dave around,
[02:13.39]Linda needed a lot of help around the house.
[02:15.27]Where do you want it, here?
[02:16.85]No.
[02:19.10]More this way.
[02:21.98]Here?
[02:23.57]Uh, yeah. That’s good.
[02:28.74]I had always liked Linda, but we’d never had a chance
[02:32.03]to spend any time alone together.
[02:34.45]Oughta warm you up a little bit.
[02:36.50]Now with Dave out of the picture,
[02:37.79]I began to see what an incredibly sensitive
[02:39.71]and giving person she was.
[02:42.79]We got to be kind of like buddies.
[02:45.21]I even took her to the mall one time
[02:46.42]while her car was in the shop.
[02:51.22]What do you think?
[02:54.10]You look great.
[02:55.76]I can’t afford this stuff right now.
[02:58.43]Ah, come on. You’ve had a hard year.
[03:00.23]You’re cooped up all the time with the kid.
[03:02.27]Let go. Live a little.
[03:03.65]You sure?
[03:04.61]Yeah.
[03:08.03]So what do you think?
[03:09.95]Should we get a room?
[03:11.36]Should we get a what?
[03:25.29]That’s not funny.
[03:34.34]How’d it go?
[03:36.26]Fine.
[03:37.22]You know...
[03:38.18]just went to Westerly’s.
[03:40.10]Did you guys have fun?
[03:43.44]Um...
[03:44.90]yeah.
[03:45.86]No, I mean... you know.
[03:48.40]What?
[03:50.78]Well, Linda’s great,
[03:53.07]but she can be a little bit much sometimes.
[03:57.87]Yeah.
[03:59.20]Oh, God. Oh, just like that.
[04:01.71]Yeah.
[04:02.71]Fill me up.
[04:04.12]Fill me up.
[04:06.04]Oh... yeah.
[04:08.88]Fill me up.
[04:11.30]Oh, God.
[04:12.26]Just like that.
[04:13.68]Oh, yeah.
[04:14.93]Fill me up.
[04:16.09]God. Oh, God!
[04:18.26]Oh, God. Just like that.
[04:20.43]Do it, Jim. Fuck me.
[04:22.81]Do it, Jim.
[04:23.77]Just like that.
[04:25.31]Do it, Jim. Fill me up.
[04:28.02]Just like that. Do it, Mr. M.
[04:30.44]Do it. Fuck me, Mr. M. Fuck me!
[04:33.15]Fuck me hard, Mr. McAllister.
[04:35.24]Harder! Harder!
[04:36.20]Fuck me, Mr. McAllister. Fuck me hard!
[04:39.08]Harder! Fuck me! Please!
[04:42.95]So like I was saying,
[04:44.37]things were going pretty well in my life.
[04:46.38]That is, until things started going all hay wire
[04:48.71]with that damn election.
[04:50.13]I love Carver High.
[04:53.01]And I will be a dedicated vice president.
[04:56.39]A vote for Jerry Slavin is a vote for good government.
[04:59.72]And even if I can’t really stand up for you, I will.
[05:05.02]Thank you.
[05:11.27]Thank you, Jerry.
[05:12.69]Thank you and good luck.
[05:14.15]Again, Jerry is running unopposed for vice president.
[05:17.41]So, we’ll move on now to the presidential race
[05:20.87]with 3 candidates running.
[05:22.29]The first, in alphabetical order,
[05:24.62]is Tracy Flick.
[05:26.54]Tracy?
[05:34.30]Poet Henry David Thoreau once wrote,
[05:37.59]"I cannot make my days longer,
[05:39.80]so I strive to make them better."
[05:41.81]With this election, we here at Carver
[05:44.31]also have an opportunity
[05:45.73]to make our high school days better.
[05:47.77]During this campaign, I’ve spoken with many of you
[05:51.02]about your many concerns.
[05:52.44]I spoke with Eliza Ramirez,
[05:54.86]a freshman who said she feels alienated
[05:57.24]from her own home room.
[05:58.78]I spoke with sophomore Reggie Banks
[06:00.62]who said his mother works in the cafeteria
[06:03.04]and can’t afford to buy him enough spiral notebooks
[06:04.91]for his classes.
[06:05.87]Eat me!
[06:06.87]Eat me raw!
[06:13.09]All right, now.
[06:14.55]Hey, ifyou can’t be adults
[06:16.92]and give these candidates the courtesy they deserve,
[06:19.80]then you don’t deserve to be called adults but children
[06:22.60]because that’s what children are,
[06:24.06]and you’ll be treated like children.
[06:25.97]So let’s all listen up, huh?
[06:32.23]I care about Carver,
[06:34.15]and I care about each and every one of you.
[06:36.07]And together, we can all make a difference.
[06:38.57]When you cast your vote for Tracy Flick next week,
[06:41.82]you won’t just be voting for me.
[06:44.20]You’ll be voting for yourself
[06:46.29]and for every other student here at Carver.
[06:49.00]Our days might not be any longer,
[06:51.42]but they can sure be better.
[06:53.50]Thank you.
[07:01.51]The... The next candidate for student body president
[07:04.85]is Paul Metzler.
[07:06.31]Paul?
[07:09.64]Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof!.
[07:15.40]- Whoo! - Hey, Paul!
[07:17.23]Paul!
[07:36.96]"As many of you know,
[07:38.88]I broke my leg pretty bad this year,
[07:40.80]and the experience has made me reevaluate
[07:42.72]what I want to do with my life,
[07:44.18]and that is help people.
[07:45.60]When you think about it,
[07:47.06]a school is more than a school.
[07:48.60]It’s our second home, where we spend all our time
[07:50.43]and grow as individuals in the community.
[07:53.31]But is our school everything it could be?
[07:55.23]I want our school to reach its true potential.
[07:58.11]That’s why I’m running for president.
[07:59.53]I know what it is to fight hard and win,
[08:01.45]like when we almost went to State last fall
[08:03.36]and I threw the fourth quarter pass against Westside
[08:06.24]for the touchdown that won the game by 3 points.
[08:08.16]I won’t let you down like I didn’t then,
[08:10.08]and I promise we can all score a winning touchdown together.
[08:13.46]Vote Paul Metzler for president.
[08:15.38]Thank you."
[08:29.26]OK, Paul.
[08:30.68]The final candidate for student council president
[08:34.06]is another one ofthe Metzler clan,
[08:36.44]sophomore Tammy Metzler.
[08:37.90]Tammy.
[08:50.45]Ha ha ha ha!
[08:52.20]People! People!
[08:58.54]Who cares about this stupid election?
[09:07.43]We all know it doesn’t matter
[09:09.55]who gets elected president of Carver.
[09:11.97]Do you really think it’s gonna change anything around here,
[09:15.27]make one single person smarter or happier
[09:19.56]or nicer?
[09:21.48]The only person it does matter to
[09:23.90]is the one who gets elected.
[09:25.82]The same pathetic charade happens every year,
[09:30.12]and everyone makes the same pathetic promises
[09:33.00]just so they could put it on their transcripts
[09:34.96]to get into college.
[09:36.87]So vote for me
[09:38.29]because I don’t even wanna go to college,
[09:40.71]and I don’t care.
[09:42.13]And as president, I won’t do anything.
[09:45.01]The only promise I will make is that, if elected,
[09:48.84]I will immediately dismantle the student government
[09:51.72]so that none of us will ever have to sit through
[09:53.64]one of these stupid assemblies again!
[09:59.94]Whoo!