帮助女孩在压力当中成长

Matt Lauer: A new book explains why girls feel the pressure more than boys, it is called "stressed-out girls - helping¹ them thrive in the age of pressure",the author is psychologist Roni Cohen-Sandler. Roni, good morning. Good to see you.

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Thank you!

Matt Lauer: I…I,I usually hate to start by saying, let me play devil's ad to keep it,(devil's advocate唱反调的人)/ Let me, let me play it for a second,(Sure.) when I was a kid, I thought it need to be good in soccer,in baseball,and to look good, and wear the right clothes,and be popular, and do well academically, so why is it harder for girls than boys ?

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Well, it's true,it's true, Matt, that boys academically want to succeed just as much as girls,but there are two issues ,one is that girls face such more intense social pressures during middle school and high school. You know, they want to be seen as looking good ,and especially they have issues about body-image appearance that boys don't have. For example,girls that I spoke² to, for this book,they told me about waking up early in the morning ,sometimes an hour or more,to blow dry their hair,to put make-up on,to make sure that their make-up wasn't too much or too little,and especially to pick out their out-fits,because they know that what they wear will say something very important about them.

Matt Lauer: You've surveyed, I think, 3000 girls for this book, and you talk ( and some boys) , and some boys, you talk about the fact that girls tend to view their or experience their relationships in a different way than boys do, explain that.

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Well, they care so much about their relationships. How their relationships are going well,( We're talking friendships here),every kind of relationship( right), um, their relationship with teachers, their relationship with parents, their relationships with their peers³. And in fact, unless they feel like their relationships are going well, Matt ,they can't feel sucessful, boys are much more likely to slough⁴ it off, but for girls they go through their school day much differently, thinking about how their relationships are going.

Matt Lauer:Th, this needs to feel extraordinary ,(Yes.)or to,to be extraordinary in so many different areas of their lives. More extraordinary than boys apparently⁵ they feel they have to be,how does that impact their personalities⁶ with that,the weight on their shoulder?

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Well,they think that they have to be great in everything, and of course ,they have limitations. And when they have limitations ,they feel like they can't, they can't please people.They feel like they are just not good enough, that their best isn't good enough, and they end up feeling terrible about themselves, and sometimes they give up, they start feeling like they're hopeless and not trying this hard.

Matt Lauer: Let's talk about some things that parents can do some signs and some advice(sure),look for signs of hidden stress, not obvious stress.

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Right, the girls tend to keep their stress in ,because they want to please people.so ,you know, every ,every girl, for example, is going to be irritable⁷ and tired sometimes, but the key is if it becomes a pattern or she suddenly starts saying she hates school or complains about certain teachers, parents should really think about the fact that maybe something stressful is going on.

Matt Lauer: Help create a sensible schedule, big peppy, that I think so many kids are over-scheduled ,(huge)you got to create downtime.

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Absolutely,and parents need to be the voice of reason here, I suggest no more than once work per season, that they make sure that their daughters have at least one free period during the school day, and especially they have a couple of days after school. They just rest and relax, relax and rest, and have downtime .

Matt Lauer: All right. So, and also help develop tangible⁸ goals, and I would imagine that wouldn't be: get straight-As,(no,um)or you've got to get 1600 on your SATs, what are tangible goals?

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Tangible goals are: do your homework at night before you go to bed instead of trying to do it in the morning before a class or read over your papers before you hand them in, so you don't make careless mistakes, or read your textbooks again before you take a big test for example.

Matt Lauer: Give it your best effort,but don't worry about the results as much.

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Absolutely!

Matt Lauer: That's good advice and the last one of course : don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Roni Cohen-Sandler: For sure.

Matt Lauer: Roni, thanks so much. Good to have you here.

Roni Cohen-Sandler: Thanks for having me.

1 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

2 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

3 peers   

n.同等的人，贵族vi.凝视，窥视vt.与…同等，封为贵族v.凝视( peer的第三人称单数 )；盯着看；同等；比得上

参考例句：

• She enjoys the respect of her peers. 她受到同侪的尊敬。
• She peers into my eyes. 她盯着我的眼睛。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 slough   

v.蜕皮，脱落，抛弃

参考例句：

• He was not able to slough off the memories of the past.他无法忘记过去。
• A cicada throws its slough.蝉是要蜕皮的。

5 apparently   

adv.显然地；表面上，似乎

参考例句：

• An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
• He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。

6 personalities   

n. 诽谤，（对某人容貌、性格等所进行的）人身攻击； 人身攻击；人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• There seemed to be a degree of personalities in her remarks.她话里有些人身攻击的成分。
• Personalities are not in good taste in general conversation.在一般的谈话中诽谤他人是不高尚的。

7 irritable   

adj.急躁的；过敏的；易怒的

参考例句：

• He gets irritable when he's got toothache.他牙一疼就很容易发脾气。
• Our teacher is an irritable old lady.She gets angry easily.我们的老师是位脾气急躁的老太太。她很容易生气。

8 tangible   

adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的

参考例句：

• The policy has not yet brought any tangible benefits.这项政策还没有带来任何实质性的好处。
• There is no tangible proof.没有确凿的证据。