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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
The Art of Pleasing
取悦的艺术
The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess, but a very difficult one to get. It can hardly be reduced to rules, and your own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of pleasing.
Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably the same things in you will please others. If you are pleased with the friendliness1 and attention of others to your humors3, your tastes, or your weaknesses, depend on it. The same friendliness and attention, on your part, to theirs will equally please them. Take the tone4 of the company, that you are in, and do not pretend to give it; be serious, gay5, as you find the present humor2 of the company. Do not tell stories in company; there is nothing more boring and unpleasant; if by any chance you know a very short story, and suitable to the present subject of conversation, tell it in as few words as possible; and even then, show that you do not love to tell stories; but that the shortness of it attracted you. Of all things, dismiss6 the egotism from your conversation, and never think of entertaining people with your own personal concerns, or private affairs; though they are interesting to you, they are impolite and uninteresting to everybody else; besides that, one cannot keep one's own private affairs too secret. Whatever you think your own excellencies may be, do not show them in company; nor take the trouble, as many people do, to give that to the conversation.
If they are real, they will surely be discovered some day, without your pointing them out yourself, and with much more advantage. Never continue an argument with heat and shout, though you think or know yourself to be in the right; but give your opinion modestly and coolly, which is the only way to persuade; and, if that does not do, try to change the conversation, by saying with good humor, “We shall hardly persuade one another, nor is it necessary that we should, so let us talk of something else.”
取悦的艺术非常有必要掌握,但却很难获得。这种艺术很难归纳为一些规则,你自己良好的判断力和敏锐的观察力。教给你的取悦艺术胜过我的说辞。己所不欲,勿施于人,就是我所知道的最有把握的取悦艺术。
细心观察别人身上有什么东西使你满意,也许你身上同样的东西也会使别人满意。如果别人对你的幽默、爱好或你的缺点表示友善或有兴趣,而你对此感到满意,那就有路子了。你对他们所表示出的友善和兴趣同样也会使他们满意。众人聚在一起交谈,你要顺着大家谈话的基调说话,而不可妄自引领话头;要随众人的情绪变化,当严肃时则严肃,当喜乐时则喜乐。不要在人前讲故事,没有比在人前讲故事更惹人烦、令人不快了。如果你碰巧知道一个很短的故事,而且也同当前的话题适合,就用尽可能少的话讲;即使这样,你还应表明你并不喜欢讲故事,而是因故事很短才让大家见笑了。最重要的是,谈话中切勿夸夸其谈、自我炫耀,决不要想着用你个人的关注或私事来使人家感兴趣;虽然它们对于你很有趣,但对于别人却不礼貌,没味道。此外,人们对于自己的私事越严守越好。不论你认为自己有多少优点,决不要在人前表露出来;也不要像许多人那样,用作谈资。
如果你确有卓越过人之处,总有一天肯定会被发现的,无需你自己表白,这样会更有好处。虽然你认为或知道理在己方,但决不要高声激烈争辩;而是谦恭而冷静地摆出自己的观点,这是说服人的唯一方式;如果这样做不奏效,就试着改变一下话题,心情舒畅地说:“我们难以说服对方,也没有必要这样做,所以,我们就谈点别的吧。”
1 friendliness | |
n.友谊,亲切,亲密 | |
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2 humor | |
n.(humour)幽默,诙谐 | |
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3 humors | |
v.迎合,牵就,顺应( humor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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4 tone | |
n.语气,音调,气度,色调;vt.(up)增强 | |
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5 gay | |
adj.同性恋的;色彩鲜艳的;n.(男)同性恋者 | |
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6 dismiss | |
v.解雇,开除;把(某人)打发走;解散 | |
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