《英语流行话题阅读:语境识词4500》59 Four Rules for a Successful Marriage

　　Unit 59
Four Rules for a Successful Marriage
Couples usually ask for advice when they are just about ready to throw in the towel. Their Love Banks have been losing love units so long that they are now deeply in the red. And their negative Love Bank accounts makes them feel very uncomfortable just being in the same room with each other. To be in love again means they must re-deposit all of the love units that were withdrawn¹. In order to deposit enough love units to fall in love, they must follow rules that they don't feel like following.
The Rule of Care: Meet Your Spouse²'s Most Important Emotional Needs
Even when the feeling of love begins to fade, or when it's gone entirely³, it can be recovered when ever you both go back to being an expert at knowing each other's needs and learn to meet those needs in a way that is fulfilling to your spouse, and enjoyable for you, too.
The Rule of Protection: Avoid Being the Cause of Your Spouse's Unhappiness
It's pointless to deposit love units if you withdraw them right away. So in addition to meeting important emotional needs, you must be sure to protect the Love Bank from withdrawals⁵ by paying attention to ow your everyday behavior makes each other unhappy. You and your spouse were born to be angry, disrespectful, demanding, annoy and dishonest. These are normal human traits that I call Love Busters because they destroy affection. To eliminate them, you will do whatever it takes to overcome these destructive tendencies for your spouse's protection.
The Rule of Honesty
Reveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know -- your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plans for the future. Honesty and Openness can trigger the feeling of love. But its counterpart, dishonesty, is one of the most destructive Love Busters. Besides, honesty is the only way couples will come to understand each other. To avoid conflict, they sometimes deliberately⁶ misinform each other as to their feelings, personal history, activities, and plans. This not only leads to a failure to meet an important emotional need, and a withdrawal⁴ of love units when the deception⁷ is discovered, it also makes marital⁸ conflicts impossible to resolve. After all, how can you and your spouse solve a problem if your cards are not on the table? Without honesty, the adjustments that are crucial to the creation of compatibility in your marriage cannot be made.
The Rule of Time: Take Time to Give Your Spouse Your Undivided Attention
When you are dating, you give each other this kind of attention and you fall in love. When people have affairs, they also give each other this kind of attention to keep their love for each other alive. Why should courtship and affairs be the only times love is created? Why can't it happen in marriage as well? It can, if you set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention. Schedule your time to be alone with each other as your highest priority, even if your career, your time with your children, and a host of other demands will compete for your time together.

1 withdrawn   

vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出

参考例句：

• Our force has been withdrawn from the danger area.我们的军队已从危险地区撤出。
• All foreign troops should be withdrawn to their own countries.一切外国军队都应撤回本国去。

2 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

3 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

4 withdrawal   

n.取回，提款；撤退，撤军；收回，撤销

参考例句：

• The police were forced to make a tactical withdrawal.警方被迫进行战术撤退。
• They insisted upon a withdrawal of the statement and a public apology.他们坚持要收回那些话并公开道歉。

5 withdrawals   

n.收回，取回，撤回( withdrawal的名词复数 )；撤退，撤走；收回[取回，撤回，撤退，撤走]的实例；推出（组织），提走（存款），戒除毒瘾，对说过的话收回，孤僻

参考例句：

• He has made several withdrawals from his bank account. 他从银行账户上提了几次款。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• It is not the bank's policy to deduct interest on withdrawals. 提款需扣除利息这并非是本银行的政策。 来自辞典例句

6 deliberately   

adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地

参考例句：

• The girl gave the show away deliberately.女孩故意泄露秘密。
• They deliberately shifted off the argument.他们故意回避这个论点。

7 deception   

n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计

参考例句：

• He admitted conspiring to obtain property by deception.他承认曾与人合谋骗取财产。
• He was jailed for two years for fraud and deception.他因为诈骗和欺诈入狱服刑两年。

8 marital   

adj.婚姻的，夫妻的

参考例句：

• Her son had no marital problems.她的儿子没有婚姻问题。
• I regret getting involved with my daughter's marital problems;all its done is to bring trouble about my ears.我后悔干涉我女儿的婚姻问题, 现在我所做的一切将给我带来无穷的烦恼。