一位爸爸写给女儿的信 不要讨好男人

 　　Dear Cutie-Pie,

　　我的宝贝小甜心：

　　Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway¹ through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."

　　最近我和你妈妈准备在谷歌上搜一个答案。还没输完整个问题，谷歌就显示了一列世界上最常见的搜索。其中排在第一的是“怎么能让他一直对我感兴趣”。

　　It startled me. I scanned several of the countless² articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus³ a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

　　这让我有点震惊。我浏览了无数相关的论文，这些文章都是关于女孩如何性感保持美丽，什么时候给他送上一杯啤酒和三明治，以及如何让他觉得聪明和有优越感。

　　And I got angry.

　　我怒了。

　　一位爸爸写给女儿的信 不要讨好男人

　　Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to "keep him interested."

　　亲爱的宝贝，你从来，完全都不需要，“让他一直对你感兴趣。”

　　Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul -- in that unshakeable place that isn't rattled⁴ by rejection⁵ and loss and ego⁶ -- that you are worthy⁷ of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

　　亲爱的，你唯一的任务就是不断去了解自己的灵魂——你不该让拒绝、失去和自我占据那个不可撼动的领域——这样你才值得被喜欢。(如果你还能知道每个人都值得被喜欢，那么你的人生已经基本赢了。改天我会在另一封信里再写这部分。)

　　If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

　　如果你相信自己的价值，那么你的魅力就能用最重要的这句话来形容：你会吸引有能力去爱你同时也想花一辈子时间好好爱你的男生。

　　Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting.

　　亲爱的，我想告诉你，不用刻意在男生面前保持新鲜感，他会知道你的好和魅力所在。

　　I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table -- as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches⁸ when you smile. And then can't stop looking.

　　我不介意他吃饭时会不会把手放桌子上——只要他会把注意力放在你身上，哪怕你大笑时鼻子都发出了怪声，还是止不住的一直看着你。

　　I don’t care if he can't play a bit of golf with me -- as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel⁹ in all the glorious and frustrating¹⁰ ways they are just like you.

　　我不介意他不会陪我打高尔夫——只要他能和孩子们玩得开心，并且陶醉于孩子们和你是多么地相像。

　　I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet -- as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

　　我不介意他忘带钱包——只要他全心爱你如初，一直不离不弃。

　　I don't care if he is strong -- as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

　　我不介意他是不是强壮——只要他能够给你足够空间，让你去不断锻炼内心的力量。

　　I couldn't care less how he votes -- as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence¹¹ in his heart.

　　我一点也不关心他为谁投票——只要他每天早上醒来，都能把你“选”为家里的荣耀和他心中的女神。

　　I don't care about the color of his skin -- as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

　　我不介意他的肤色——只要他能用耐心、牺牲、奉献和温柔的笔触在你人生的画布上尽情挥绘。

　　I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion -- as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

　　我不介意他是否有宗教信仰——只要他从小到大都信仰神圣，也知道生命的每个时刻，和你在一起的每分钟，都是非常神圣的。

　　In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

　　最后，亲爱的，如果你遇到了这样的男人，哪怕我和他完全没有共同点，我们都会有一个最重要的共通之处：

　　You.

　　那就是你。

　　Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to "keep him interested" is to be you.

　　最后，亲爱的，想要让他一直爱你如初的话，你唯一需要做的就是做你自己。

　　Your eternally interested guy,

　　永远爱你的

　　Daddy

　　爸爸

1 halfway   

adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途

参考例句：

• We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路，天就黑了。
• In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上，最忌讳的是有始无终。

2 countless   

adj.无数的，多得不计其数的

参考例句：

• In the war countless innocent people lost their lives.在这场战争中无数无辜的人丧失了性命。
• I've told you countless times.我已经告诉你无数遍了。

3 versus   

prep.以…为对手，对；与…相比之下

参考例句：

• The big match tonight is England versus Spain.今晚的大赛是英格兰对西班牙。
• The most exciting game was Harvard versus Yale.最富紧张刺激的球赛是哈佛队对耶鲁队。

4 rattled   

慌乱的，恼火的

参考例句：

• The truck jolted and rattled over the rough ground. 卡车嘎吱嘎吱地在凹凸不平的地面上颠簸而行。
• Every time a bus went past, the windows rattled. 每逢公共汽车经过这里，窗户都格格作响。

5 rejection   

n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃

参考例句：

• He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
• The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。

6 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。

7 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

8 scrunches   

v.发出喀嚓声( scrunch的第三人称单数 )；蜷缩；压；挤压

参考例句：

9 revel   

vi.狂欢作乐，陶醉；n.作乐，狂欢

参考例句：

• She seems to revel in annoying her parents.她似乎以惹父母生气为乐。
• The children revel in country life.孩子们特别喜欢乡村生活。

10 frustrating   

adj.产生挫折的，使人沮丧的，令人泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的现在分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧

参考例句：

• It's frustrating to have to wait so long. 要等这么长时间，真令人懊恼。
• It was a demeaning and ultimately frustrating experience. 那是一次有失颜面并且令人沮丧至极的经历。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 reverence   

n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬

参考例句：

• He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
• We reverence tradition but will not be fettered by it.我们尊重传统，但不被传统所束缚。