研究：礼物和恭维都没有用 勇敢对抗才能搞定丈母娘

 　　If your future mother-in-law thinks you’re not suitable for her darling son or daughter, don’t shower her with gifts and compliments – stand up to her instead.

　　如果你的未来岳母或婆婆认为，你不适合她的宝贝女儿或儿子，别给她献一堆礼物和恭维之辞，而要与她对抗。

　　Scientists have found that the best way to win over future in-laws is to take an assertive¹ approach and directly persuade them you will make your intended spouse² happy.

　　如今科学家发现，赢得未来岳母或婆婆信任的最佳方式是，表现出自信，直接说服他们，你会让你的意中人过得幸福。

　　It may seem counter-intuitive, but this tactic³ – dubbed⁴ the ‘I am right for your child’ approach – helped win over doubting fathers and mothers, a study found.

　　这看起来似乎与直觉相悖，但研究发现，这一被称为“我最适合你的孩子”的策略，帮助许多人赢得了持疑父母的信任。

　　The worst strategy was to avoid dealing⁵ with the in-laws yourself and instead to ask your sweetheart to lobby on your behalf.

　　最差的策略是，避免与岳父母或公婆交谈，而让你的伴侣代表你去游说。

　　研究：礼物和恭维都没有用 勇敢对抗才能搞定丈母娘

　　The researchers dubbed this tactic the ‘tell them I’m good’ method.

　　研究者称这种策略为“告诉他们我很优秀”策略。

　　And despite the traditional view of the judgmental mother-in-law, the study found that it may actually be easier to win over mothers than fathers.

　　与认为岳母和婆婆很挑剔的传统观念不同，研究发现，实际上赢得岳母/婆婆的信任比赢得岳父/公公的信任容易。

　　In his research paper, Professor Menelaos Apostolou said that children frequently choose mates who do not appeal to their parents.

　　在此研究报告中，迈内劳斯·阿珀斯特鲁教授称，孩子们时常选择不受家长喜欢的对象。

　　For instance, they may fall for individuals who are physically⁶ attractive, while their parents are more concerned with social standing⁷ and family background.

　　例如，他们会爱上一些外貌较好的人，但家长更关心社会地位和家庭背景。

　　The study of 738 Greek-Cypriots identified approaches that were most likely to be used to win over in-laws, which Professor Apostolou grouped into seven tactics.

　　对738位希腊裔塞浦路斯人进行的研究，确定了最常用于说服岳父母/公婆的方法，阿珀斯特鲁教授将其归为七种策略。

　　First was the ‘I am right for your child’ tactic, in which suitors demonstrate to the prospective⁸ parents-in-law how good they are as mates for their children.

　　首先是“我最适合你的孩子”策略。追求者向未来岳父母/公婆展示，自己是多么适合做他们孩子的伴侣。

　　Following this came the ‘I do not deserve this!’ strategy, in which they demonstrate to their mate’s parents that they do not warrant their rejection⁹.

　　接下来是“我不接受！”策略。追求者会向伴侣父母表现出，自己不接受他们的反对。

　　Third most common was the ‘Why don’t you like me?’ approach, in which suitors try to determine why the parents disapprove¹⁰ and try to change their minds.

　　最常见的第三种是“你为什么不喜欢我？”策略。追求者试图判断家长为什么反对，并试图改变他们的想法。

　　Other tactics include ‘No confrontation’ and ‘You have to accept the situation!’ in which they can threaten the parents by suggesting they risk never seeing their grandchildren.

　　其他策略包括“不准反对”和“你得接受现实！”。追求者可威胁对方父母，暗示他们有可能见不到他们的孙儿。

　　There was also the ‘Approach’ strategy, in which lovers try to grow closer to the in-laws by inviting¹¹ them for dinner and buying gifts.

　　还有“接近”策略。追求者通过邀请岳父母/公婆共进晚餐和给他们送礼物，试图拉近与他们的距离。

　　Finally there is the ‘Tell them I am good’ tactic in which the partner is drafted in to persuade their own parents of their lover’s virtues¹².

　　最后是“告诉他们我很优秀”策略。此种方法中，伴侣被拉进来游说自己的父母，告诉他们自己对象的优秀品质。

　　The ‘I am right for your child’ and ‘No confrontation’ tactics were the favourites whereas ‘approach’ and ‘Tell them I am good!’ were least likely to be successful.

　　“我最适合你的孩子”和“不准反对”策略是最推荐的，而“接近”和“告诉他们我很优秀！”成功率最低。

　　Vocabulary

　　draft: 选派；抽调；征用

1 assertive   

adj.果断的，自信的，有冲劲的

参考例句：

• She always speaks an assertive tone.她总是以果断的语气说话。
• China appears to have become more assertive in the waters off its coastline over recent years.在近些年，中国显示出对远方海洋的自信。

2 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

3 tactic   

n.战略，策略；adj.战术的，有策略的

参考例句：

• Reducing prices is a common sales tactic.降价是常用的销售策略。
• She had often used the tactic of threatening to resign.她惯用以辞职相威胁的手法。

4 dubbed   

v.给…起绰号( dub的过去式和过去分词 )；把…称为；配音；复制

参考例句：

• Mathematics was once dubbed the handmaiden of the sciences. 数学曾一度被视为各门科学的基础。
• Is the movie dubbed or does it have subtitles? 这部电影是配音的还是打字幕的？ 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。

6 physically   

adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律

参考例句：

• He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。
• Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。

7 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

8 prospective   

adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的

参考例句：

• The story should act as a warning to other prospective buyers.这篇报道应该对其他潜在的购买者起到警示作用。
• They have all these great activities for prospective freshmen.这会举办各种各样的活动来招待未来的新人。

9 rejection   

n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃

参考例句：

• He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
• The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。

10 disapprove   

v.不赞成，不同意，不批准

参考例句：

• I quite disapprove of his behaviour.我很不赞同他的行为。
• She wants to train for the theatre but her parents disapprove.她想训练自己做戏剧演员，但她的父母不赞成。

11 inviting   

adj.诱人的，引人注目的

参考例句：

• An inviting smell of coffee wafted into the room.一股诱人的咖啡香味飘进了房间。
• The kitchen smelled warm and inviting and blessedly familiar.这间厨房的味道温暖诱人，使人感到亲切温馨。

12 virtues   

美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处

参考例句：

• Doctors often extol the virtues of eating less fat. 医生常常宣扬少吃脂肪的好处。
• She delivered a homily on the virtues of family life. 她进行了一场家庭生活美德方面的说教。