托福写作备考高分技巧揭秘（二）

 　　托福独立写作部分对于我们写作的总体要求是consistent facility in the use of language（语言运用的和谐流畅），给我们的具体建议是a variety of sentence structures（句子结构多样）和word choice should be appropriate（措辞贴切得体），评分者的审查角度是lexical or grammar errors（词汇和语法错误）以及the complexity¹ of sentence structures（句子结构的复杂程度）和the quality and complexity of your vocabulary（考生所使用的词汇的质量和复杂程度）。接下来李盛老师分别先从语法错误、措辞和句子结构三个方面来探讨备考过程中应该注意的事项：

　　接上期，本期从the quality and complexity of your vocabulary开始：

　　既然OG中要求我们word choice should be appropriate（措辞贴切得体），如何才能做到呢？这里大多数同学都有一个误解，认为quality and complexity of your vocabulary指的就是大量使用TOEFL甚至GRE的词汇，当然，这些词汇如果使用的正确固然是好的，但对于大多数同学来说，很多TOEFL/GRE词汇大家仅仅是认识，对于它们的搭配和感情色彩并不是很清楚，往往会闹出"今天我含笑九泉"、"我们的班长凡事都首当其冲"之类的笑话。

　　在托福独立写作中什么样的词汇才是appropriate或者说能到的一定的quality and complexity呢？在托福的评卷中，raters一方面会考虑同学们所使用的词汇的长度和复杂度，一方面会把考试文章中所使用的词汇表达与语料库中不同等级的文章进行比较，从而大致判定我们的文字语言水平。因此，平时多去积累高分范文中的表达对于我们提升自己的语言很大的帮助。

　　最后是the complexity of sentence structures：

　　OG中要求做到句子结构多样，那么在保证句子表达正确性的基础上适当去变换句型就可以了。在这里很多同学又有误解，认为句子结构多样指的就是写长难句，但是滥用从句往往会使得语言变得啰嗦。我们通过对于独立写作高分范文的文本进行分析，可以总结出在高分范文中常见的句式有：

　　（1）并列句（包括平行结构，neither...nor...，not only...but also...等句式）

　　Junk food may cause a person to develop diabetes², to have heart disease, and to gain weight.

　　The mass media neither gives us the necessary information, nor does it tell us the truth.

　　（2）从句（包括名词性从句、形容词性从句、副词性从句）

　　What kind of person you wish to become is more important than what kind of job you will have.

　　No one can deny the basic fact that it is impossible for average workers to master those high-technology skills easily.

　　（3）插入语

　　After-hours study, if properly managed, holds the key to success in the 21st century.

　　College students, lacking social experience, are easily cheated.

　　（4）句子强调（包括强调句式、倒装句式、否定句式等）

　　Only when the heavy and frequent exposure to television is restricted or regulated will the adolescents' life, both bodily and spiritually, be guaranteed.

　　（5）修饰性问句

　　If there were no Internet, how could people get various information immediately?

　　（6）分词

　　Tourism, which is a rising industry, has become the major source of economy, playing crucial role in many Asian countries.

　　在写作中，短句能够给人留下比较深刻的印象，比较适合用来表达观点；而长句善于表达非常复杂的逻辑关系，比较适合用来解释不同现象间的关系。由于长句和短句的不同功能，在托福写作中，我们常用短句来表达关键信息，尤其是引言段中的thesis statement和正文段的topic sentence，用长句来描述引言段中的背景信息和对正文段的topic sentence进行拓展。如果我们能做到这一点，文章中就会有长短句交替出现，避免枯燥乏味的问题。比如下面这个段落中，作者就用一个短句表达主题思想，然后用了几个长句来解释这个思想。

　　Children in modern society become more difficult to understand than 50 years ago. Children acquire a lot more new information and ideas from various resources, such as mass media and the Internet, while their parents always cannot accept those ideas, because they always have a stereotyped³ mind and are reluctant to take novel concepts. Therefore, generation gap becomes huger between parents and children in modern society, which impedes⁴ the communication between parents and the children.

　　最后，我们要注意语言的衔接。高质量的文章要求行文流畅，各部分的起承转合不能有生涩之感，而衔接的主要目的是把文章里的各种内容有机地连接起来，使其成为一个整体，帮助读者更加清楚、准确地判断各部分之间的关系，更好地把握全文。这就像盖房子时在摆放整齐的砖块之间加上水泥，使之更为牢固。这一点在托福独立写作评分维度中的Organization中也有强调。最简单的方法就是使用过渡词来实现上下文的衔接。学生可以使用英语中一些常见的过渡词来实现语言上的衔接：

　　（1）增补(Addition)

　　in addition, furthermore, again, also, besides, moreover, what`s more, similarly, next, finally.

　　（2）比较(Comparison)

　　in the same way, likewise, similarly, equally, just as, in comparison, Compared with…, …, comparing with,

　　（3）对照(Contrast)

　　whereas, in contrast, on the contrary, on the other hand, instead, however, nevertheless, unlike, even though, while

　　（4）因果(Cause and effect)

　　because, because of, for, since, due to, owing to, thanks to, as a result(of), accordingly, hence, so, thus, given that

　　（5）强调(Emphasis)

　　certainly, above all, indeed, of course, surely, actually, as a matter of fact, chiefly, especially, primarily, in particular, undoubtedly⁵, absolutely

　　（6）让步(Concession)

　　although, though, after all, in spite of, nevertheless, still, provided, while it is true....

　　（7）例证(Exemplification)

　　for example, for instance, that is, namely, such as, in other words, in this case, by way of illustration. One apt illustration of this point involves…

　　（8）总结(Conclusion)

　　to sum up, to conclude, in a word, in short, in brief, all in all, in all, to put it in a nutshell, in summary

　　（9）当说到…时：

　　as of, when it comes to, concerning, when talking about, as far as,

　　时间和空间(Time and space)

　　afterward⁶, after, first, later, then, soon, outside, near, beyond, above, below, on the right(left), in the middle, opposite, in front of

　　当然，英语语言的使用更多的来自于同学们日常的积累。背诵单词并多读范文对于托福写作语言的准确使用有着很大的意思。

1 complexity   

n.复杂(性)，复杂的事物

参考例句：

• Only now did he understand the full complexity of the problem.直到现在他才明白这一问题的全部复杂性。
• The complexity of the road map puzzled me.错综复杂的公路图把我搞糊涂了。

2 diabetes   

n.糖尿病

参考例句：

• In case of diabetes, physicians advise against the use of sugar.对于糖尿病患者，医生告诫他们不要吃糖。
• Diabetes is caused by a fault in the insulin production of the body.糖尿病是由体內胰岛素分泌失调引起的。

3 stereotyped   

adj.(指形象、思想、人物等)模式化的

参考例句：

• There is a sameness about all these tales. They're so stereotyped -- all about talented scholars and lovely ladies. 这些书就是一套子，左不过是些才子佳人，最没趣儿。
• He is the stereotyped monster of the horror films and the adventure books, and an obvious (though not perhaps strictly scientific) link with our ancestral past. 它们是恐怖电影和惊险小说中的老一套的怪物，并且与我们的祖先有着明显的（虽然可能没有科学的）联系。

4 impedes   

阻碍，妨碍，阻止( impede的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• High packing density greatly impedes the cooling of the array. 高存贮密度很不利于阵列的散热。
• The inflexibility of the country's labor market seriously impedes its economic recovery. 该国劳工市场缺乏灵活性，这严重阻碍了它的经济恢复。

5 undoubtedly   

adv.确实地，无疑地

参考例句：

• It is undoubtedly she who has said that.这话明明是她说的。
• He is undoubtedly the pride of China.毫无疑问他是中国的骄傲。

6 afterward   

adv.后来；以后

参考例句：

• Let's go to the theatre first and eat afterward. 让我们先去看戏，然后吃饭。
• Afterward,the boy became a very famous artist.后来，这男孩成为一个很有名的艺术家。