《傲慢与偏见》 第58章(6)

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Painful recollections will intrude¹ which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled². I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit³. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent⁴ and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous⁵. By you, I was properly humbled⁶. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You shewed me how insufficient⁷ were all my pretensions⁸ to please a woman worthy⁹ of being pleased."

我脑子里总免不了想起一些苦痛的事情，实在不能不想，也不应该不想。我虽然并不主张自私，可是事实上却自私了一辈子。从小时候起，大人就教我，为人处世应该如此这般，却不教我要把脾气改好。他们教我要学这个规矩那个规矩，又让我学会了他们的傲慢自大。不幸我是一个独生子（有好几年，家里只有我一个孩子），从小给父母亲宠坏了。虽然父母本身都是善良人（特别是父亲，完全是一片慈善心肠，和蔼可亲），却纵容我自私自利，傲慢自大，甚至还鼓励我如此，教我如此。他们教我，除了自己家里人以外，不要把任何人放在眼里，教我看不起天下人，至少希望我去鄙薄别人的见识，鄙薄别人的长处，把天下人都看得不如我。从八岁到二十八岁，我都是受的这种教养，好伊丽莎白，亲伊丽莎白，要不是亏了你，我可能到现在还是如此！我哪一点不都是亏了你！你给了我一顿教训，开头我当然受不了，可是我实在受益非浅。你羞辱得我好有道理。当初我向你求婚，以为你一定会答应。多亏你使我明白过来，我既然认定一位小姐值得我去博她欢心，我又一味对她自命不凡，那是万万办不到的。”

"Had you then persuaded yourself that I should?"

“当初你真以为会博得我的欢心吗？”

"Indeed I had. What will you think of my vanity? I believed you to be wishing, expecting my addresses."

“我的确是那样想的。你一定会笑我太自负吧？我当时还以为你在指望着我、等待着我来求婚呢。”

"My manners must have been in fault, but not intentionally¹⁰, I assure you. I never meant to deceive you, but my spirits might often lead me wrong. How you must have hated me after that evening?"

“那一定是因为我态度不好，可是我告诉你，我并不是故意要那样。我决不是有意欺骗你，可是我往往凭着一时的兴致，以致造成大错，从那天下午起，你一定是非常恨我。”

"Hate you! I was angry perhaps at first, but my anger soon began to take a proper direction."

“恨你！开头我也许很气你，可是过了不久，我便知道究竟应该气谁了。”

1 intrude   

vi.闯入；侵入；打扰，侵扰

参考例句：

• I do not want to intrude if you are busy.如果你忙我就不打扰你了。
• I don't want to intrude on your meeting.我不想打扰你们的会议。

2 repelled   

v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开

参考例句：

• They repelled the enemy. 他们击退了敌军。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The minister tremulously, but decidedly, repelled the old man's arm. 而丁梅斯代尔牧师却哆里哆嗦地断然推开了那老人的胳臂。 来自英汉文学 - 红字

3 conceit   

n.自负，自高自大

参考例句：

• As conceit makes one lag behind,so modesty helps one make progress.骄傲使人落后，谦虚使人进步。
• She seems to be eaten up with her own conceit.她仿佛已经被骄傲冲昏了头脑。

4 benevolent   

adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的

参考例句：

• His benevolent nature prevented him from refusing any beggar who accosted him.他乐善好施的本性使他不会拒绝走上前向他行乞的任何一个乞丐。
• He was a benevolent old man and he wouldn't hurt a fly.他是一个仁慈的老人，连只苍蝇都不愿伤害。

5 advantageous   

adj.有利的；有帮助的

参考例句：

• Injections of vitamin C are obviously advantageous.注射维生素C显然是有利的。
• You're in a very advantageous position.你处于非常有利的地位。

6 humbled   

adj. 卑下的，谦逊的，粗陋的 vt. 使 ... 卑下，贬低

参考例句：

• The examination results humbled him. 考试成绩挫了他的傲气。
• I am sure millions of viewers were humbled by this story. 我相信数百万观众看了这个故事后都会感到自己的渺小。

7 insufficient   

adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的

参考例句：

• There was insufficient evidence to convict him.没有足够证据给他定罪。
• In their day scientific knowledge was insufficient to settle the matter.在他们的时代，科学知识还不能足以解决这些问题。

8 pretensions   

自称( pretension的名词复数 )； 自命不凡； 要求； 权力

参考例句：

• The play mocks the pretensions of the new middle class. 这出戏讽刺了新中产阶级的装模作样。
• The city has unrealistic pretensions to world-class status. 这个城市不切实际地标榜自己为国际都市。

9 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

10 intentionally   

ad.故意地，有意地

参考例句：

• I didn't say it intentionally. 我是无心说的。
• The local authority ruled that he had made himself intentionally homeless and was therefore not entitled to be rehoused. 当地政府裁定他是有意居无定所，因此没有资格再获得提供住房。