2008年ESL之商务英语 12 A Bully at Work

 

 

12 A Bully at Work

GLOSSARY

to put up with – to take without complaining; to endure; to tolerate* Why do you put up with the child’s bad behavior?

bully  – a person who uses verbal (spoken) or physical violence to prove his/herstrength, power, or position over others; a person who is mean to others * He was considered a bully in high school because he would make the weakerstudents give him their lunch money.

to stand up to – to not allow another person to continue to be mean to oneselfanymore; to not be afraid to tell someone when he/she is acting inappropriately  * They stood up to the gang by forming a neighborhood watch program.

the last straw – the last in a series of bad events where a person decides thathe or she will not let the bad events happen anymore; to not be able to stand acertain situation any longer* When she came home drunk for the third time in four nights, it was the laststraw for her boyfriend and he broke up with her.

to put (someone) down – to insult someone; to make someone feel unimportantor of less value* The husband put his wife down when he told her in front of their friends that shewasn’t very smart.

to jump down (someone’s/one’s) throat – to verbally attack someone; to yell atsomeone* The boss jumped down my throat when I arrived late to work today.

stunned – surprised; shocked; scared* The actress was stunned when she found out she had won an award.

arrogant – believing that one is more important than all other people; thinkingthat one is more talented than other people. * The soccer player is so arrogant that he will not talk to or take pictures with any fans.  biting – hurtful; cruel* The teacher’s biting comment to her students about their lack of intelligencemade them cry.

contempt – strong dislike; disrespect; scorn* John felt contempt for his father, who abandoned his family when John was only a child.

insecure – not confident; disliking a part of your oneself* Do you believe that most women feel insecure about their bodies?

to belittle – to make someone feel unimportant; to tell someone that he or she is less important * The older child belittled her younger brother because she was jealous of him.  social skills – everyday communication skills with other people; one’s ability tocommunicate and work effectively with other people in a friendly manner* This school is very good at teaching academic subjects, but the students graduate without good social skills. to call (someone’s) bluff – to make someone prove that what they are saying is true; to force someone else prove that he/she will really do what he/she says he/she will do* She called her son’s bluff when she asked him to prove that he had done his homework.

to back it up – to prove it; to provide evidence to support something* He backed up his claim that he was the best boxer in the world by defeating thecurrent champion.

to keep (one’s) cool – to stay calm; to remain relaxed and unconcerned * The girl kept her cool even though the other students called her names.

to back down – to give in; to walk away from a challenge * The driver backed down from the argument he was having with the policeofficer.

to act (one’s) age, and not (one’s) shoe size – to act one’s level of maturity; toact like an adult instead of a child* When will you act your age and not your shoe size and stop fighting with theneighborhood children?

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS1.  What do Wanda and Dana think of Robert?

a)  They think he is a good manager.

b)  They think that he has great social skills.

c)  They think that he is a jerk.

2.  How does Dana think Wanda should fix her problem with Robert? a)  By keeping quiet and not saying anything to him.

b)  By making biting remarks about him in front of the other employees.

c)  By calling his bluff and standing up to him.

______________WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

to put (someone) downThe expression “to put (someone) down,” in this podcast, means to insultsomeone or to make someone feel unimportant: “She put him down by sayingthat his guitar playing was the worst noise she had ever heard.”  The expression“to put (someone) down” can also mean to set someone or something down ontoa surface: “She lifted the baby out of the crib and put him down on the floor sothat he could crawl around.”  “To put down” can also mean to cause a person’s oranimal’s death: “The vet put the dog down because it was so old that it couldn’twalk, see, or hear.”  Finally,  “to put down” can mean to write down: “Put down onour list that we need to buy bread, sugar, and cereal when we go to the grocery store.”

biting In this podcast, the word “biting” means hurtful or cruel: “When I told my brotherabout my promotion at work, he only made a biting remark that I would havebeen promoted earlier if I weren’t so lazy.”  “Biting” also means to cause astinging or painful sensation, usual related to the weather: “When the wind blows in the winter it can be biting cold.”  The word “biting” is also used to describecertain insects that can wound a person’s skin with their fangs (teeth) or with asting: “There are many different kinds of biting flies in Alaska.”  Finally, the verb“to bite” means to pierce with one’s teeth: “She bit into the apple.”

CULTURE NOTEIn the U.S., if you want to become a member of a group, you may need “toundergo” (to take part in) an activity called “hazing.”  Hazing is an activity someone must perform so that he/she can either “become a member” (to be partof a group) of a group or “to retain” (to keep, to renew) their current membershipwith a group.  Hazing usually “humiliates” (to lower the pride or self respect ofsomeone) or causes physical or emotional “harm” (pain, danger) to the personbeing hazed.

Some people confuse the terms bullying and hazing.  With bullying, usually agroup is trying to keep a person from entering their group.  With hazing, a personmust pass certain “challenges” (tests of one’s abilities) in order to become a partof the group.  Hazing happens most often in sports in high school and colleges. The athletes are “initiated” (brought into a group with an activity) to their newteams by “existing” (someone who is already a member of the group) teammembers.  Often times those hazed by a group are hurt physically in some way,but usually they are hurt more emotionally.  University social groups calledfraternities (for men) and sororities (for women) also use some type of hazing toselect its members.

There are a number of different ways a group will initiate a new member.  Thegroup may constantly “insult” (make many unkind remarks) the person; the groupmay cause the person not to be able to sleep for an “extended” (long) period oftime; the group may physically “attack” (hit, punch, slap) the person; the groupmay make the person humiliate or embarrass themselves in “public“ (in front ofother people); the group may make the person touch or eat a gross “substance“(material); or the group may make the person drink a large amount of alcohol. Many times the person has to perform the acts the group wants him/her toperform even if he/she does not want to perform the activities.  Some schools have tried to stop hazing because of the damage it causes, but it is often difficultto control the behavior of these types of “close-knit” (socially close) groups.

______________Comprehension Questions Correct Answers:  1 – c; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPTWelcome to English as a Second Language Podcast episode 372: A Bully atWork.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 372.  I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Visit our website at eslpod.com and download a Learning Guide for this episode. The Learning Guide is an 8 to 10 page guide we publish for all of our currentepisodes that contains all of the vocabulary words, definitions, samplesentences, additional definitions that we don’t talk about on the audio portion ofthe podcast, cultural notes, comprehension checks, and a complete transcript ofthis episode.

This episode is called “A Bully at Work.”  It’s a dialogue between Wanda andDana about a problem they’re having at their job.  Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Wanda:  I can’t take it anymore.  I try to put up with Robert, but I’ve had enough!

Dana:  I’m not surprised.  That guy is a big bully and it’s time somebody stood upto him.  What has he done now?

Wanda:  This was the last straw.  We’re both managers and we’re supposed towork together, but Robert looks for every opportunity to put me down in front ofour employees.  This morning, I presented an idea about upgrading our computerequipment and he jumped down my throat.

Dana:  What did he do? Wanda:  He said that the idea was stupid and that he couldn’t understand howanyone could propose it.  He said this in front of everybody.  I was too stunned torespond, so I just stood there.

Dana:  That’s totally inappropriate and unprofessional. Wanda:  He’s arrogant to everybody, but especially to me.  He always says he’s just being honest when he makes a biting remark, but I’m realizing that that’s just his excuse to be rude.  He treats everyone with contempt.  I really don’t knowwhat to do.

Dana:  I know people like Robert.  They’re so insecure that they have to belittleeveryone else to make themselves feel better.  They have really poor social skills and don’t know how to have a conversation or to disagree without being a jerk.

Wanda:  That may be, but what should I do about him? Dana:  There’s only one way to handle a bully.

Wanda:  How?

Dana:  You have to call his bluff.  If he criticizes your plan, ask him to back it upwith evidence or a specific reason.  If you disagree with him, keep your cool, buttell him why.  Most bullies back down when someone stands up to them. Wanda:  Okay, it’s worth a try.  I’ve been trying to keep calm and maintain aprofessional atmosphere in the office, so I haven’t confronted him, but I will if youthink it’ll help.

Dana:  I do.  And if that doesn’t work, tell him to act his age, not his shoe size! [end of dialogue]

Wanda begins by saying “I can’t take it anymore.”  This is similar to saying “Ican’t stand it,” which means I can no longer tolerate this; I can’t just stay here orsit here, it’s bothering me too much.  “I can’t take it anymore,” she says, “I try toput up with Robert, but I’ve had enough!”  “To put up with someone” means totolerate someone, to take something without complaining.  It’s the opposite of “Ican’t take it anymore.”  “I put up with you,” meaning I tolerate you, I don’t let itbother me.

Dana says, “I’m not surprised.  That guy is a big bully.”  A “bully” is a person whouses violence – physical violence or verbal (spoken) violence to prove his or herstrength or power.  It’s a person who’s mean to other people because they try tocontrol them using this kind of violence.  Normally we use the term “bully” indescribing a child, for example, who tries to hit or control another child by beingmean to them.  But here, Dana is talking about an adult who’s a bully. Dana says, “it’s time somebody stood up to him.”  “To stand up to someone”

means not to allow another person to continue, in this case, to be mean to you, not to be afraid to tell someone that he or she is not acting appropriately.  Youhave to stand up to a bully; you have to tell them what they are doing is wrong. Dana says, “What has he done now?”  What has he done to make her angry?

Wanda says, “This was the last straw.”  When we say something is “the laststraw” (straw), we mean it’s the last in a series of bad events, when someonedecides that he or she is not going to let this situation continue.  When you canno longer tolerate or put up with a situation, you say, “that’s the last straw,”

meaning it’s the last negative thing that’s going to happen, now I’m going tochange the situation. Wanda says, “We’re both managers and we’re supposed to work together, butRobert looks for every opportunity to put me down in front of our employees.” “To put someone down” is another phrasal verb meaning to insult someone, tomake someone feel unimportant or of less value.  “To put down” has a couple ofdifferent meanings; take a look at our Learning Guide for some additionalexplanations.

Wanda continues, “This morning, I presented an idea about upgrading ourcomputer equipment and he (Robert) jumped down my throat.”  “To jump downsomeone’s throat” means to attack someone verbally, to yell at somebody forsomething that they said or did.

Dana asks, “What did he do?”  And Wanda says, “He said that the idea was stupid and that he couldn’t understand how anyone could propose it.  He saidthis in front of everybody.”  Wanda says, “I was too stunned to respond, so I juststood there.”  “To be stunned” means to be surprised, to be shocked, perhaps tobe scared.

Dana says, “That’s totally inappropriate and unprofessional,” what Robert did. Wanda says Robert’s arrogant to everybody.  “To be arrogant” means to think that you are more important than everyone else, that you are better thaneveryone else.  Wanda says, “He always says he’s just being honest when hemakes a biting remark.”  A “biting remark” is a hurtful or cruel comment that youmake to someone.  “Biting” has a couple of different meanings in English; onceagain, look at our Learning Guide for some additional explanations of that word. Wanda says that she realizes that he’s just making excuses for being rude whenhe says he’s being honest, “He treats everyone with contempt.”  “Contempt”

means disrespect, a strong dislike of another person.

Dana says, “I know people like Robert.  They’re so insecure that they have tobelittle everyone else to make themselves feel better.”  “To be insecure” means to be not secure, to be not confident about who you are.  “To belittle” means tomake someone else feel unimportant, to tell someone that he or she is less important than you are.  Normally, it’s something that would happen in front ofother people, but not always.  Dana says that people like Robert have very poorsocial skills.  “Social skills” refers to the ability to communicate with other people,to work effectively with other people in a friendly way.  We say someone lacks social skills or they have poor social skills, we mean they don’t get along withother people, they don’t know how to have a friendly conversation with otherpeople.

Wanda says, “That may be, but what should I do about him?”  Dana says,“There’s only one way to handle (or take care of) a bully.”  Wanda says, “How?” And Dana says, “You have to call his bluff.”  “To call someone’s bluff” (bluff)means to make someone prove what they are saying is true, to force somebodyto prove that he or she will really do what he or she says they will do.  That is “tocall someone’s bluff.”  A “bluff” is when you say something to someone and it’s not necessarily true, in fact it usually isn’t true, but you are trying to make thembelieve it.  Someone may say to you “You’re bluffing,” meaning you are lying, youare not telling the truth; you’re trying to make me believe something that isn’t trueso that you can have an advantage over me.

Dana says, “You have to call his bluff.  If he criticizes your plan, ask him to back it up with evidence.”  “To back something up” means to provide evidence tosupport something, to prove something.  Someone says to you “Back it up,”

they’re saying give me evidence that this is true.  “If you disagree with him,” Danasays, “keep your cool, but tell him why (you disagree).”  “To keep your cool”

means to stay calm, to remain relaxed and unconcerned: “The beautiful womanwalked in the door, but I kept my cool.”  Then she sat down and started talking toanother man, so it didn’t really matter!  But I kept my cool – I didn’t get excited, Istayed calm.

Dana says, “Most bullies back down when someone stands up to them.”  “Toback down” means to walk away from a challenge, or to give in – to give up. He’s going to back down; he’s going to say, “Okay, you win.”  They’re not goingto continue the fight or the argument. Wanda says, “it’s worth a try.  I’ve been trying to keep calm and maintain aprofessional atmosphere in the office, so I haven’t confronted him” – I haven’tsaid something negative to him or told him that he was wrong.  “But,” she says, “Iwill if you think it will help.  Dana says, “I do.  And if that doesn’t work, tell him toact his age, not his shoe size!”  “To act your age, and not your shoe size” is anexpression that children sometimes use; it means act like an adult, not like a child.  In the United States, the shoe sizes are usually numbers between 1 andmaybe 12 or 15.  So, your shoe size, even as an adult, will not be very high.  My shoe size is an eight, but I don’t want to act like I’m eight years old, my shoe size. I want to act my real age, which is 21!

Now let’s listen to the dialogue again, this time at a normal speed.

[start of dialogue]

Wanda:  I can’t take it anymore.  I try to put up with Robert, but I’ve had enough!

Dana:  I’m not surprised.  That guy is a big bully and it’s time somebody stood upto him.  What has he done now?

Wanda:  This was the last straw.  We’re both managers and we’re supposed towork together, but Robert looks for every opportunity to put me down in front ofour employees.  This morning, I presented an idea about upgrading our computerequipment and he jumped down my throat.

Dana:  What did he do? Wanda:  He said that the idea was stupid and that he couldn’t understand howanyone could propose it.  He said this in front of everybody.  I was too stunned torespond, so I just stood there.

Dana:  That’s totally inappropriate and unprofessional. Wanda:  He’s arrogant to everybody, but especially to me.  He always says he’s just being honest when he makes a biting remark, but I’m realizing that that’s justhis excuse to be rude.  He treats everyone with contempt.  I really don’t knowwhat to do.

Dana:  I know people like Robert.  They’re so insecure that they have to belittleeveryone else to make themselves feel better.  They have really poor social skills and don’t know how to have a conversation or to disagree without being a jerk.

Wanda:  That may be, but what should I do about him? Dana:  There’s only one way to handle a bully.

Wanda:  How?

Dana:  You have to call his bluff.  If he criticizes your plan, ask him to back it upwith evidence or a specific reason.  If you disagree with him, keep your cool, buttell him why.  Most bullies back down when someone stands up to them. Wanda:  Okay, it’s worth a try.  I’ve been trying to keep calm and maintain aprofessional atmosphere in the office, so I haven’t confronted him, but I will if youthink it’ll help.

Dana:  I do.  And if that doesn’t work, tell him to act his age, not his shoe size!

[end of dialogue]

The script for this episode was written by a woman with wonderful social skills,Dr. Lucy Tse. From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan.  Thanks for listening.  We’ll seeyou next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan.  This podcast is copyright 2008.