第389期:如何应对发怒的人

 　　The worst possible reaction to a yeller is to mirror their behavior. Things do not go well if you yell at someone who is yelling at you.

　　面对一个发怒的人最差的反应就是和他们一样。如果你对着向你大喊大叫的人同样大喊大叫，情况不会变好。

　　There are better ways to deal with a yeller. Below are the steps you should use to handle and hopefully diffuse¹ a yeller.

　　应对大喊大叫的人，其实有更好的方法。试用一下下面的方法，希望这样可以让发怒的人消气。

　　New Words:

　　yeller: 嘶吼的人，发怒的人

　　mirror: vt. 反射；反映

　　diffuse vi. 传播；四散

　　feed into 注入，流入；提供原料

　　subsequently adv. 随后，其后；后来

　　condone² vt. 宽恕；赦免

　　get one's way为所欲为；随心所欲

　　address vt. 提出；处理

　　1. Stay calm and don't feed into their anger.

　　1. 保持冷静，不要助长他们的气焰。

　　Remember that when a person is yelling, it is not you that has the problem, it is them. It is not worth feeding into their yelling, as the situation will just get worse and things are rarely resolved when two parties are yelling at one another.

　　记住，当一个人在大喊大叫的时候，错不在你而在他们。助长他们的气焰，更加肆无忌惮的大喊大叫，真的很不值得。因为这样只能让事情变得更糟，当双方嘶吼时，很少能真正解决问题。

　　2. Take a mental step back to assess the situation.

　　2. 退后一步想想，衡量下局势。

　　Before taking any action in the situation, pause mentally to assess things. This will allow you to figure out whether it is worth waiting out the yeller or to leave the situation.

　　在采取行动之前，先停下来衡量下局势。这能让你明白是不是值得等发怒的人把脾气发完，还是直接离开现场。

　　3. Do not agree with the yeller to diffuse them, as it encourages future yelling.

　　3. 不要认同发怒者让他们消气，这样只能让他们日后更为嚣张。

　　If you agree with the yeller to diffuse them and subsequently agree to do something or say something that they are asking, you are condoning³ their yelling. By being agreeable to someone who is yelling at you, it only encourages them to yell at you to get their way in the future.

　　如果你同意发怒的人，想让他们消气，然后紧接着按照他们的要求去说或是做事情，你这是再宽恕他们的嘶吼。认同向你大吼大叫的人，实际上只会助长他们日后随心所欲地向你大吼大叫。

　　4. Calmly address the yelling.

　　4. 平静的应对嘶喊。

　　Let the person know that you will not accept being yelled at, regardless of the situation or problem. Say this politely and calmly, and you are more likely to have a positive reaction, such as an apology or at least make them aware that they are in fact yelling. Some people don't even realize they are yelling. Then your next step is to ask for a break away from this person.

　　不管是在任何情况下或遇到任何问题，让对方知道你不会接受别人的吼叫。礼貌而冷静地说，尽可能积极的反应，例如道歉或至少让他们意识到他们实际上是在吼叫。有些人甚至不知道他们在大喊大叫。然后下一步就是要求离开这个人。

　　5. Ask for a break from this person.

　　5. 请求离开这个人。

　　When you are asking for a break from the person, it should be more of a statement than a question, especially if it's not your boss. If it's a spouse⁴, friend, or someone else, it is completely acceptable to state that you need a break and time to think things through in order to respond appropriately and calmly.

　　当你要求与某人离开这个人，应该直接的说明而不是询问，尤其如果这不是你的老板。如果是配偶，朋友或他人，告诉他们自己需要时间来思考和平静下，是完全可以被理解和接受的。

　　6. When you feel your emotions have calmed down, and you know how to address whatever it was they were yelling about, you can now go back to talk to the person.

　　当你感觉到你已经平静下来，而且你明白不管他们怎么嘶喊你都知道如何应对的时候，你现在可以回去和那个人谈谈了。

1 diffuse   

v.扩散；传播；adj.冗长的；四散的，弥漫的

参考例句：

• Direct light is better for reading than diffuse light.直射光比漫射光更有利于阅读。
• His talk was so diffuse that I missed his point.他的谈话漫无边际，我抓不住他的要点。

2 condone   

v.宽恕；原谅

参考例句：

• I cannot condone the use of violence.我不能宽恕使用暴力的行为。
• I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war.我绝不允许任何导致战争的行为。

3 condoning   

v.容忍，宽恕，原谅( condone的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• I'm not condoning what he did, all right? 我并不是宽恕他的所作所为，好吗？ 来自电影对白
• Communist Party conservatives abhor the idea of condoning explicIt'sex. 党内的保守势力痛恨对赤裸性爱内容的宽容。 来自互联网

4 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？