Manners Matter

Manners Matter

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Both for kids and adults

 

Stressing table manners from childhood through adulthood¹ sounds a bit old-fashioned, but it’s part of the lifelong pursuit of happiness, according to both those who teach etiquette² and the professionals who validate³ its importance.

 

Sinclair started teaching children’s etiquette about 15 years ago. “Parents are so glad I’m doing something like this,” she said. “I’m not doing anything that can’t be taught at home, but it’s independent validation⁴ of what is taught at home.”

 

That’s why Kelly and Chris Kluck enrolled⁵ their 8-year-old son, Andrew, in a recent etiquette class. “Now that he’s taken the class, he tries to help us learn things we didn’t know,” such as the difference between European and Americanstyle eating, Kelly Kluck said. “And as we were leaving his class, he told us what we should do with our napkins as we left the table.”

 

For those who don’t know, Americans switch the fork from their left hand — used during cutting — to their right hand to actually eat, while Europeans stick with the left hand for both cutting and eating. As for the napkin, it is left on the chair if you’re planning to return to the table, but placed on the table if you’re leaving the table for good.

 

“I think it’s all part of having good social graces, and it helps him build respect for others, be kind to others and learn proper eye contact,” Kluck said. “This is one more layer in helping⁶ our son grow into a good person who can be productive.”

 

Years ago, parents started asking Sinclair whether she offered classes for grown-ups. Now she mainly teaches adults through corporate⁷ etiquette dinners.

 

“Etiquette is coachable,” Sinclair said. “It’s very sad when someone deserves a promotion⁸ based on work skills, but doesn’t get it because they lack social skills.”

Vocabulary Focus

validate (v) [5vAlideit] to make something acceptable or approved, especially after examining it

productive (adj) [prE5dQktiv] able to be useful or to contribute effectively

coachable (adj) [kEutFEbl] relating to something that can be taught or to someone who can be trained or directed

礼节关系重大

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孩子与成人同样受用

从小到大都强调礼仪听起来似乎有点老古板，不过根据教授礼仪课程的老师和证实了礼仪重要性的专业人士的说法，礼仪是人们一辈子所追求的幸福快乐的一部分。

辛克莱大约15年前开始教授儿童礼仪。“做父母的都很高兴我在教这个，”她说：“我并不是教什么家里不能教的东西，而只是客观确认了家中所教的内容。”

这也是凯莉和克里斯·克拉克替8岁儿子安德鲁报名参加最近一期礼仪课的原因。“上了课之后，他试着帮助我们学一些我们以前不知道的事，”凯莉说，例如欧式与美式用餐的差异。“当我们上完安德鲁的课准备离开时，他告诉我们离开餐桌时应该如何处理餐巾。”

如果你还不知道，以下的信息与你分享。美国人切食物时用左手握叉子，实际吃的时候却换到右手握叉子。欧洲人则不管在切或吃的时候都是使用左手握叉子。至于餐巾，若你离开餐桌但还要再回来，应该留在椅子上。但如果你不再回到餐桌，就应该把餐巾留在桌上。

“我认为这些都是培养良好社交风度的一部分，能帮安德鲁建立对他人的尊重、宽以待人，并学会适当的眼神接触，”克拉克说：“这是能让我们的儿子成长为一个有用的好人的另一个层面。”

多年前，许多父母就询问辛克莱是否也为成人开课。现在她主要是用集体的礼仪晚餐来教导成人礼仪。

“礼仪是可以训练的，”辛克莱说：“若有人因工作表现应该升迁，却由于缺乏社交技巧而错失良机的话，是很令人惋惜的。”

1 adulthood   

n.成年，成人期

参考例句：

• Some infantile actions survive into adulthood.某些婴儿期的行为一直保持到成年期。
• Few people nowadays are able to maintain friendships into adulthood.如今很少有人能将友谊维持到成年。

2 etiquette   

n.礼仪，礼节；规矩

参考例句：

• The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
• According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。

3 validate   

vt.（法律）使有效，使生效

参考例句：

• You need an official signature to validate the order.你要有正式的签字，这张汇票才能生效。
• In order to validate the agreement,both parties sign it.为使协议有效，双方在上面签了字。

4 validation   

n.确认

参考例句：

• If the countdown timer ever hits zero, do your validation processing. 处理这种情况的方法是在输入的同时使用递减计时器，每次击键重新计时。如果递减计时器变为零，就开始验证。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
• Although the validation control is a very widespread idiom, most such controls can be improved. 虽然确认控件是非常广泛的习惯用法，但还有很多有待改进的地方。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

5 enrolled   

adj.入学登记了的v.[亦作enrol]( enroll的过去式和过去分词 )；登记，招收，使入伍（或入会、入学等），参加，成为成员；记入名册；卷起，包起

参考例句：

• They have been studying hard from the moment they enrolled. 从入学时起，他们就一直努力学习。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He enrolled with an employment agency for a teaching position. 他在职业介绍所登了记以谋求一个教师的职位。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

7 corporate   

adj.共同的，全体的；公司的，企业的

参考例句：

• This is our corporate responsibility.这是我们共同的责任。
• His corporate's life will be as short as a rabbit's tail.他的公司的寿命是兔子尾巴长不了。

8 promotion   

n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传

参考例句：

• The teacher conferred with the principal about Dick's promotion.教师与校长商谈了迪克的升级问题。
• The clerk was given a promotion and an increase in salary.那个职员升了级，加了薪。