【荆棘鸟】第六章 20

There was no way she could come to terms with death; she lay night after night in a confused terror, trying to imagine if death was perpetual night, or an abyss of flames she had to jump over to reach the golden fields on the far side, or a sphere like the inside of a gigantic balloon full of soaring choirs¹ and light attenuated² through limitless stained-glass windows. She grew very quiet, but in a manner quite different from Stuart's peaceful, dreamy isolation³; hers was the petrified⁴ freezing of an animal caught in the serpent's basilisk stare. If she was spoken to suddenly she jumped, if the little ones cried for her she fussed over them in an agony of expiation⁵ for her neglect. And whenever she had a rare moment to herself she ran away, down to the cemetery⁶ and Hal, who was the only dead person she knew.

Everyone noticed the change in her, but accepted it as Meggie growing up without once asking themselves what growing up for Meggie entailed⁷; she hid her distress⁸ too well. The old lessons had been well learned; her self-control was phenomenal and her pride formidable. No one must ever know what went on inside her, the facade⁹ must continue flawless to the end; from Fee to Frank to Stuart the examples were there, and she was of the same blood, it was a part of her nature and her heritage. But as Father Ralph paid his frequent visits to Drogheda and the change in Meggie deepened from a pretty feminine metamorphosis to a quenching¹⁰ of all her vitality¹¹, his concern for her mushroomed into worry, and then into fear. A physical and spiritual wasting away was taking place beneath his very eyes; she was slipping away from them, and he couldn't bear to see her become another Fee. The small pointed¹² face was all eyes staring at some dreadful prospect¹³, the milky¹⁴ opaque¹⁵ skin which never tanned or freckled¹⁶ was growing more translucent¹⁷. If the process went on, he thought, she would one day disappear into her own eyes like a snake swallowing its tail, until she drifted through the universe as an almost invisible shaft¹⁸ of glassy grey light, seen only from the corner of the vision where shadows lurk¹⁹ and black things crawl down a white wall.

Well, he would find out if he had to wring²⁰ it from her forcibly. Mary Carson was at her most demanding these days, jealous of every moment he spent down at the head stockman's house; only the infinite patience of a subtle, devious²¹ man kept his rebellion against her possessiveness hidden from her. Even his alien preoccupation with Meggie 

 

她无法想象大限来临时是什么样子，她夜复一夜地惶恐地躺在那里，试图想象死亡就是永恒的黑夜；或者是通往远方金色乐土而要跳越过去的一条冒着火焰的深渊；或者是置身在一个巨大的圆球之中，里面站满了歌声直于云霄的唱诗班和从其大无比的彩色玻璃窗内透进来的淡淡的光线。

　　她变得非常沉默了，不过，她的样子和斯图那种宁静的、如梦如痴般的孤独完全不一样。她的神态就象是一只在巨蛇怪的凝视下吓得一动不动的小动物。要是有人猛地和她讲话，她会跳起来；要是那一对婴儿哭着要她，她也会因为忽略了他们而深感痛苦，赶紧大惊小怪地乱忙一通，以补其过。不管什么时候，只要她有片刻空闲，便要跑到墓地去看哈尔，他是她唯一认识的死者。

　

　　每个人都发觉了她的变化，但是他们仅仅认为这是因为她长大了；他们从未亲自问过她那不断加重的思想负担是为了什么。她把自己的抑郁之情掩藏得太好了。往日的教训已经被彻底接受，她具有非凡的自我控制能力和强烈的自尊心。谁都不会知道她心里在想什么，表面的不动声色会保持到底的，菲、弗兰克和斯图尔特已经是有例在先，而她身上也流动着同样的血液，这是她本性的一部分，是她继承下来的遗产。

　　但是，由于拉尔夫神父常常以德罗海达来，他发现梅吉的身上起了深刻的变化，从一个俏丽的姑娘变成了一个毫无生气的人。因此他的关怀便迅速地变成了担扰，随后又变成了恐惧。这种衣带渐宽、精神不振都是在他那锐利的双眼下发生的；她悄悄地从他的身边疏远，他无法容忍她变成另一个菲。那尖削的小脸瘦得只剩下一对呆望着可怕前景的眼睛，那从未被晒黑过或长过雀斑的柔弱暗涩的皮肤变得更加半透明了。他想，倘若这种情况继续下去的话，她就会象吞下了自己尾巴的蛇那样，在自我折磨中把自己搞垮。

　　唔，他要想想他是否必须采取强制手段扭转她的这种状态、这些日子，玛丽·卡森盘问得极严，对他在牧工头家度过的每一刻都充满了嫉炉，而这位不动声色、城府甚深的男人只好用无比的耐心来对抗她那隐藏的占有欲。即使他在梅吉的身上格外倾注心力。

1 choirs   

n.教堂的唱诗班( choir的名词复数 )；唱诗队；公开表演的合唱团；（教堂）唱经楼

参考例句：

• They ran the three churches to which they belonged, the clergy, the choirs and the parishioners. 她们管理着自己所属的那三家教堂、牧师、唱诗班和教区居民。 来自飘（部分）
• Since 1935, several village choirs skilled in this music have been created. 1935以来，数支熟练掌握这种音乐的乡村唱诗班相继建立起来。 来自互联网

2 attenuated   

v.（使）变细( attenuate的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）变薄；（使）变小；减弱

参考例句：

• an attenuated form of the virus 毒性已衰减的病毒
• You're a seraphic suggestion of attenuated thought . 你的思想是轻灵得如同天使一般的。 来自辞典例句

3 isolation   

n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离

参考例句：

• The millionaire lived in complete isolation from the outside world.这位富翁过着与世隔绝的生活。
• He retired and lived in relative isolation.他退休后，生活比较孤寂。

4 petrified   

adj.惊呆的；目瞪口呆的v.使吓呆，使惊呆；变僵硬；使石化(petrify的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• I'm petrified of snakes. 我特别怕蛇。
• The poor child was petrified with fear. 这可怜的孩子被吓呆了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 expiation   

n.赎罪，补偿

参考例句：

• 'served him right,'said Drouet afterward, even in view of her keen expiation of her error. “那是他活该，"这一场结束时杜洛埃说，尽管那个妻子已竭力要赎前愆。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• Jesus made expiation for our sins on the cross. 耶稣在十字架上为我们赎了罪。 来自互联网

6 cemetery   

n.坟墓，墓地，坟场

参考例句：

• He was buried in the cemetery.他被葬在公墓。
• His remains were interred in the cemetery.他的遗体葬在墓地。

7 entailed   

使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 )； 需要； 限定继承； 使必需

参考例句：

• The castle and the land are entailed on the eldest son. 城堡和土地限定由长子继承。
• The house and estate are entailed on the eldest daughter. 这所房子和地产限定由长女继承。

8 distress   

n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛

参考例句：

• Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
• Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。

9 facade   

n.(建筑物的)正面，临街正面；外表

参考例句：

• The entrance facade consists of a large full height glass door.入口正面有一大型全高度玻璃门。
• If you look carefully,you can see through Bob's facade.如果你仔细观察，你就能看穿鲍勃的外表。

10 quenching   

淬火，熄

参考例句：

• She had, of course, no faculty for quenching memory in dissipation. 她当然也没有以放荡纵欲来冲淡记忆的能耐。
• This loss, termed quenching, may arise in two ways. 此种损失称为淬火，呈两个方面。

11 vitality   

n.活力，生命力，效力

参考例句：

• He came back from his holiday bursting with vitality and good health.他度假归来之后，身强体壮，充满活力。
• He is an ambitious young man full of enthusiasm and vitality.他是个充满热情与活力的有远大抱负的青年。

12 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

13 prospect   

n.前景，前途；景色，视野

参考例句：

• This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
• The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。

14 milky   

adj.牛奶的，多奶的；乳白色的

参考例句：

• Alexander always has milky coffee at lunchtime.亚历山大总是在午餐时喝掺奶的咖啡。
• I like a hot milky drink at bedtime.我喜欢睡前喝杯热奶饮料。

15 opaque   

adj.不透光的；不反光的，不传导的；晦涩的

参考例句：

• The windows are of opaque glass.这些窗户装着不透明玻璃。
• Their intentions remained opaque.他们的意图仍然令人费解。

16 freckled   

adj.雀斑；斑点；晒斑；（使）生雀斑v.雀斑，斑点( freckle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Her face was freckled all over. 她的脸长满雀斑。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Her freckled skin glowed with health again. 她长有雀斑的皮肤又泛出了健康的红光。 来自辞典例句

17 translucent   

adj.半透明的；透明的

参考例句：

• The building is roofed entirely with translucent corrugated plastic.这座建筑完全用半透明瓦楞塑料封顶。
• A small difference between them will render the composite translucent.微小的差别,也会使复合材料变成半透明。

18 shaft   

n.(工具的)柄，杆状物

参考例句：

• He was wounded by a shaft.他被箭击中受伤。
• This is the shaft of a steam engine.这是一个蒸汽机主轴。

19 lurk   

n.潜伏，潜行；v.潜藏，潜伏，埋伏

参考例句：

• Dangers lurk in the path of wilderness.在这条荒野的小路上隐伏着危险。
• He thought he saw someone lurking above the chamber during the address.他觉得自己看见有人在演讲时潜藏在会议厅顶上。

20 wring   

n.扭绞；v.拧，绞出，扭

参考例句：

• My socks were so wet that I had to wring them.我的袜子很湿，我不得不拧干它们。
• I'll wring your neck if you don't behave!你要是不规矩，我就拧断你的脖子。

21 devious   

adj.不坦率的，狡猾的；迂回的，曲折的

参考例句：

• Susan is a devious person and we can't depend on her.苏姗是个狡猾的人，我们不能依赖她。
• He is a man who achieves success by devious means.他这个人通过不正当手段获取成功。