Ben: Reach for the sky, Pocahontas.

　　Donna: No, back to bed. Come on. Pocahontas is off duty. You getting sick, sheriff?

　　Michael: I don't got time to be sick, so no. I need to watch this documentary on Asian architecture.

　　Donna: Well, you gotta get some rest sometime, sweetheart. Besides, the woodland creatures will laugh at you if you collapse trying to put up the tent this weekend.

　　Michael: Yeah. I forgot to tell you. We gotta postpone the camping trip. Ammer put me on a project. It's due Tuesday. If I don't finish this design, I'm off it, so...

　　Donna: The kids have been talking about camping all year.

　　Michael: Think I don't know that? It's just every choice I make, everything I do, I disappoint somebody.

　　Donna: So, maybe make sure you don't keep disappointing the wrong people.

　　Michael: Honey, I'm not out drinking or gambling or hitting on chicks. I'm working my ass off so my family can have a better life than I've dreamed about when I was a kid. The only way for that to happen is for me to watch this stinking show! So relax, hon. Ah! Are you kidding me? Will you give me a break one time? Damn it! The O'Doyles got a stinking universal remote control. We're gonna have one too. I'm sick of this.

　　Donna: You want me to open the garage for you?

　　Michael: Yeah. Closed. Closed. Open. Bed Bath & Beyond it is. Hey, man? You guys got universal remote controls in there?

　　Man: For a shower curtain or a bathmat?

　　Michael: For a television.

　　Man: I don't think so. Maybe for a blanket?

　　Michael: You got a remote for a blanket?

　　Man: I’m sorry, dude. I don't work here. I'm waiting for my friends.

　　Michael: You're kidding me.

　　Man: Actually, yes. I don't have any friends. Will you be my friend? Wow, wow, man.

　　Michael: Bed. Bed. Bath. Bath. Bed. So tired of my life. Beyond? Sorry to sneak up on you. I just... You guys got a universal remote control back here?

　　Morty: Something stinks like stale French fries.

　　Michael: All right, that's probably me.

　　Morty: You know, fast food shortens your life.

　　Michael: Yeah, that's what I heard. But the way my life's been going lately, that ain't such a bad thing.

　　Morty: You're looking for a universal remote control?

　　Michael: Yeah. Just one device to do it all for me... make my life a little easier, quicker, not so damn complicated.

　　Morty: I'm not supposed to do this, but you seem like a good guy.

　　Michael: Hey. Somebody noticed. Thank you.

　　Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology we have in this place.

　　Michael: Sounds sweet.

　　Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.

　　Michael: I guess the O'Doyles' remote can bite my advanced-technological ass then.

　　Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles. But they can bite it hard.

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