TED演讲:如何培养出成功的小孩(7)

 We all know this, and yet, in the checklisted childhood, 我们都已经清楚，在清单式童年中，

we absolve¹ our kids of doing the work of chores around the house, 我们不让孩子做家里的杂活，

and then they end up as young adults in the workplace still waiting for a checklist,  当他们长大进入职场，还在等待一个清单，

but it doesn't exist, and more importantly, lacking the impulse,  但这个清单并不存在，更重要的是，他们缺乏动力和意识，

the instinct to roll up their sleeves and pitch in and look around and wonder, how can I be useful to my colleagues?  不能挽起袖子去开干，不能望向四周并心想，我怎样才能帮上同事们的忙？

How can I anticipate a few steps ahead to what my boss might need? 我怎样才能提前一步预见到老板的要求？

A second very important finding from the Harvard Grant Study said that happiness in life comes from love, 哈弗格兰特研究的另一个重要发现，人生的幸福来自于爱，

not love of work, love of humans: our spouse², our partner, our friends, our family. 不是对工作的爱，是对人的爱：我们的配偶，我们的伙伴，我们的朋友，我们的家庭。

So childhood needs to teach our kids how to love, and they can't love others if they don't first love themselves,  所以我们要教孩子如何去爱，要爱别人他们要先学会爱自己，

and they won't love themselves if we can't offer them unconditional³ love. 想要他们爱自己，我们就要给予他们无条件的爱。

Right. And so, instead of being obsessed⁴ with grades and scores when our precious offspring come home from school 是的。所以放下对成绩和分数的痴迷，当我们亲爱的孩子放学回家，

or we come home from work, we need to close our technology, put away our phones,  或者我们下班回家，我们要关掉电子设备，把手机放到一边，

and look them in the eye and let them see the joy that fills our faces when we see our child for the first time in a few hours. 看着他们的眼睛，让他们看到我们脸上洋溢的喜悦，就像第一次看到我们初生的孩子。

And then we have to say, "How was your day? What did you like about today?" 然后我们应该说，“你今天过得怎样？今天有什么高兴的事吗？”

And when your teenage daughter says, "Lunch," like mine did,  然后你的女儿会说，“午饭”，就像我女儿一样，

and I want to hear about the math test, not lunch, you have to still take an interest in lunch.  但我想听到的是数学考试，不是午饭，但你还是得表现出对午饭的兴趣，

You gotta say, "What was great about lunch today?" 你应该说，“今天的午饭哪里比较棒？”

They need to know they matter to us as humans, not because of their GPA. 他们需要知道，他们本身对我们很重要，而不是他们的学习成绩。

1 absolve   

v.赦免，解除（责任等）

参考例句：

• I absolve you,on the ground of invincible ignorance.鉴于你不可救药的无知，我原谅你。
• They agree to absolve you from your obligation.他们同意免除你的责任。

2 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

3 unconditional   

adj.无条件的，无限制的，绝对的

参考例句：

• The victorious army demanded unconditional surrender.胜方要求敌人无条件投降。
• My love for all my children is unconditional.我对自己所有孩子的爱都是无条件的。

4 obsessed   

adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的

参考例句：

• He's obsessed by computers. 他迷上了电脑。
• The fear of death obsessed him throughout his old life. 他晚年一直受着死亡恐惧的困扰。