经典双语笑话 第58期:老马识途

 Age has it's advantages 老马识途

A young vice¹ president of a bank had embezzled² $200,000 and squandered³ it at the race track.  一位年轻的银行副总裁挪用了二十万美金的公款，并悉数浪费在赛马上。

The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal⁴ his crime.  银行的督察第二天就要来视察，而他也没办法隐瞒他的不法行为。

What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him. 更糟的是，当他把此一不幸的消息告诉他老婆时，她竟收拾行李，离他而去。

Totally despondent⁵, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throw himself into the river.  年轻人非常沮丧地走向离家最近的一座桥想投河自尽。

Just as he was about to leap off, a hideous⁶ old hag ran up to him, shouting for him to stop. 就在他要跳下水时，一位面目可憎的老巫婆跑上前去，制止了他的行动。

"You don't understand," explained the banker, and told her about his predicament. “你不了解我的痛苦，”银行家说道，并且把他的困境告诉老巫婆。

"Ha-ha," chortled the hag.  “哈哈!”巫婆咯咯地笑，

"Why, that's nothing. It just so happens that I'm a witch, and I can solve all your problems. " “那也没什么，刚好我是个女巫，我可解决你所有的难题。”

The witch seemed to concentrate, made some mystic signs and uttered a series of bizarre phrases. 接着女巫似乎全神专注地在空中比划一些玄妙的符号，口中还念着一大串奇怪的话。

"There you are," she said triumphantly⁷.  “你的问题我都帮你解决了，”她得意洋洋地说道，

"Not only is the money returned, but there's another $ 200,O0O in your safe deposit box！ “不仅要回了你那二十万，你的保险柜里面还多了二十万美金!

And your wife is back at home and the whole matter has been erased⁸ from her memory. " 你太太也已回家，而且我已从她的记忆中除去了这件不愉快的事!”

"My God, can this really be true?" exclaimed the man. “我的天啊，你说的是真的吗?”那个人问道。

"Of course," replied the hag.  “当然啦!”巫婆回答道。

But if you want to keep it true, you must do one thing.  但是你如果要我保持目前这个状况的话，就必须答应我一件事。

You must take me to a hotel and screw my brains out.  带我到旅社并和我做爱一个晚上。

The man gulped⁹, for the old woman was truly hideous, and smelt¹⁰ horrible as well.  那个老兄吞了一口口水，因为女巫不但长像可怕，而且浑身臭气逼人。

But seeing no alternative, he did as she requested, and holding his nose and averting¹¹ his eyes, performed his duty manfully all night. 由于别无选择，他答应了她的要求，整个晚上他屏住气息，别过脸避开巫婆的视线，不停地履行他的承诺。

In the morning, as he was getting dressed, the repulsive¹² crone turned to him and said,  隔天早上，银行家正在穿衣服，那令人厌恶的丑老太婆面向他问道：

"Sonny, how old are you anyway?" “小老弟，你究竟多大年纪呢?”

"Thirty-three," replied the executive. “三十三，”老兄答道。

"And don't you think you're a little bit old to believe in witches?" “那你不认为你实在年长得可以不相信有巫婆的存在了吗?”

1.vice president 副总裁;副主席

例句：The views of the President and Vice President accord on the new tax bill.

关于新的税收议案，主席和副主席的意见一致。

2.race track 赛马场；比赛跑道

例句：He had been thinking all the time of his "pull" with the race track magnates.

"他一直在想着他和赛马场那些巨头们的交情。

3.as well 同样；也

例句：If he winks¹⁴ at you,you may wink¹³ back as well.

如果他向你使眼色的话，你也可以使眼色以示回答。

4.leap off 跳；落

例句：They climb walls, leap off buildings and spy on enemies.

它们会爬墙，能跳下大楼，还能暗中监视敌人。

1 vice   

n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的

参考例句：

• He guarded himself against vice.他避免染上坏习惯。
• They are sunk in the depth of vice.他们堕入了罪恶的深渊。

2 embezzled   

v.贪污，盗用（公款）( embezzle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The clerk embezzled a thousand pounds from the bank where he worked. 那个职员在他工作的银行里贪污了一千英镑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The cashier embezzled ＄ 50,000 from the bank. 出纳员盗用了银行5万美元。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

3 squandered   

v.（指钱，财产等）浪费，乱花( squander的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He squandered all his money on gambling. 他把自己所有的钱都糟蹋在赌博上了。
• She felt as indignant as if her own money had been squandered. 她心里十分生气，好像是她自己的钱给浪费掉了似的。 来自飘（部分）

4 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

5 despondent   

adj.失望的，沮丧的，泄气的

参考例句：

• He was up for a time and then，without warning,despondent again.他一度兴高采烈，但忽然又情绪低落下来。
• I feel despondent when my work is rejected.作品被拒后我感到很沮丧。

6 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

7 triumphantly   

ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地

参考例句：

• The lion was roaring triumphantly. 狮子正在发出胜利的吼叫。
• Robert was looking at me triumphantly. 罗伯特正得意扬扬地看着我。

8 erased   

v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；清除

参考例句：

• He erased the wrong answer and wrote in the right one. 他擦去了错误答案，写上了正确答案。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He removed the dogmatism from politics; he erased the party line. 他根除了政治中的教条主义，消除了政党界限。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 gulped   

v.狼吞虎咽地吃，吞咽( gulp的过去式和过去分词 )；大口地吸（气）；哽住

参考例句：

• He gulped down the rest of his tea and went out. 他把剩下的茶一饮而尽便出去了。
• She gulped nervously, as if the question bothered her. 她紧张地咽了一下，似乎那问题把她难住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 smelt   

v.熔解，熔炼；n.银白鱼，胡瓜鱼

参考例句：

• Tin is a comparatively easy metal to smelt.锡是比较容易熔化的金属。
• Darby was looking for a way to improve iron when he hit upon the idea of smelting it with coke instead of charcoal.达比一直在寻找改善铁质的方法，他猛然想到可以不用木炭熔炼，而改用焦炭。

11 averting   

防止，避免( avert的现在分词 )； 转移

参考例句：

• The margin of time for averting crisis was melting away. 可以用来消弥这一危机的些许时光正在逝去。
• These results underscore the value of rescue medications in averting psychotic relapse. 这些结果显示了救护性治疗对避免精神病复发的价值。

12 repulsive   

adj.排斥的，使人反感的

参考例句：

• She found the idea deeply repulsive.她发现这个想法很恶心。
• The repulsive force within the nucleus is enormous.核子内部的斥力是巨大的。

13 wink   

n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁

参考例句：

• He tipped me the wink not to buy at that price.他眨眼暗示我按那个价格就不要买。
• The satellite disappeared in a wink.瞬息之间，那颗卫星就消失了。

14 winks   

v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮

参考例句：

• I'll feel much better when I've had forty winks. 我打个盹就会感到好得多。
• The planes were little silver winks way out to the west. 飞机在西边老远的地方，看上去只是些很小的银色光点。 来自辞典例句