纽约时报 如果没有所谓的结束呢?(2)

 

    Each situation created a sensation of limbo¹ for family members, a lingering sense of grief over losses whose nature was uncertain.

    每一种情况都会给家庭成员带来一种不确定的感觉，一种因失去亲人而产生的挥之不去的悲痛感，这种失去的性质尚不确定。

    Sometimes, as in the case of a death accompanied by a body and a certificate, the scope of loss is relatively² clear.

    有时，如死亡时附有尸体和证明，失去的范围相对明确。

    But in the cases Boss studied, losses lacked such authoritative³ certainty.

    但在波斯研究的案例中，失去缺乏这种权威确定性。

    There were often no bodies, and thus no rituals for mourning.

    通常没有尸体，因此也没有悼念仪式。

    Rather than being tied to a specific event, these losses frequently extended over many years, deepening each day in ways that grievers could not register.

    这些失去并没有与某一特定事件联系在一起，而是经常延续多年，每天都在以悲痛者无法记录的方式加深。

    Could such experiences even be considered losses?

    这样的经历能被认定是失去吗?

    Boss, observing how families spoke⁴ about their missing relatives, coined a term to define the unclear — and often unacknowledged — absences in their lives: “ambiguous loss.”

    波斯观察了家人如何谈论他们失踪的亲人，他创造了一个词来定义他们生活中不明确的——而且往往是不被承认的——缺席:“模糊的失去”。

    Over the next several decades, Boss studied and provided therapy to the family members of Alzheimer’s patients, as well as the relatives of people whose bodies were never recovered after natural disasters, or in the collapse⁵ of the original World Trade Center on 9/11.

    在接下来的几十年里，波斯研究并治疗了阿尔茨海默氏症患者的家属，以及那些在自然灾害或9/11世贸中心原建筑倒塌后尸体再也没有找到的人的亲属。

    Theirs were losses without “conclusion,” in the traditional sense of the term, an experience of paradox⁶ — a simultaneous absence and presence — that eluded⁷ resolution.

    他们的失去没有“定论”，按照传统意义上的说法，是一种矛盾的体验——同时缺席和存在——无法得到解决。

    Can you mourn someone whose body is present, even if the mind isn’t? Or whose death is unconfirmed?

    你能为一个身体存在而精神不在的人哀悼吗? 或者为没有被确认死亡的人哀悼吗?

    Can you grieve a foreclosed future?

    你会为丧失赎回权的未来感到悲伤吗?

    The concept, Boss maintains, is inclusive, encompassing⁸ a range of moderate to severe losses that we might not perceive as such.

    波斯认为，这个概念是包容性的，包括了一系列我们可能没有意识到的中度至严重的失去。

    It can take many forms, often quotidian:an alcoholic⁹ parent who, when inebriated¹⁰, becomes a different person;失去可以有很多种形式，通常是司空见惯的:一个喝醉后完全变了个人的父亲或母亲；a divorced partner, with whom your relationship is ruptured¹¹ but not erased¹²; a loved one with whom you’ve lost contact through immigration; or a child you’ve given up for adoption¹³.

    一个离婚的伴侣，你们的关系虽然破裂了，但还无法抹去; 一个因移民而失去联系的爱人; 或者一个被你送去领养的孩子。

    These experiences are an accumulation of heartbreaks that we cannot always recognize.

    这些经历是一次次心碎的累积，而我们并不总是能意识到。

    Freudian notions of grieving have taught us that mourning is a process leading to detachment — a sort of closure.

    弗洛伊德关于悲伤的观点告诉我们，哀悼是一个导致超脱的过程——一种结束。

    Boss finds this model misleading, perilously¹⁴ bound up in the way Americans conceptualize themselves.

    波斯发现这种模式与美国人对自己进行概念化的方式误导地、危险地联系在一起。

    In a new book published this month, “The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss in a Time of Pandemic and Change,” she writes that the United States is a place that privileges narratives¹⁵ of self-sufficiency and rationality.

    在本月出版的新书《终结的神话:疫情和变革时期模糊的失去》(The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss In a Time of Pandemic and Change)中，她写道，美国是一个崇尚自我满足和理性叙事的地方。

    Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s linear “five stages of grief” model — which implies that if we work hard enough and follow certain steps, we’ll be able to get over our losses within a reasonable timeline — remains¹⁶ a popular mode of thinking.

    伊丽莎白·库布勒-罗斯的线性“悲伤的五个阶段”模型仍然是一种流行的思维模式。该模型暗示，如果我们足够努力并遵循一定的步骤，我们将能够在合理的时间线内克服失去。

    But Boss argues that many losses do not follow such models, and our reliance on them does not equip us to cope.

    但波斯认为，许多失去并没有遵循这样的模式，我们对这些模式的依赖并不能使我们有能力应对。

 

1 limbo   

n.地狱的边缘；监狱

参考例句：

• His life seemed stuck in limbo and he could not go forward and he could not go back.他的生活好像陷入了不知所措的境地，进退两难。
• I didn't know whether my family was alive or dead.I felt as if I was in limbo.我不知道家人是生是死，感觉自己茫然无措。

2 relatively   

adv.比较...地，相对地

参考例句：

• The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
• The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。

3 authoritative   

adj.有权威的，可相信的；命令式的；官方的

参考例句：

• David speaks in an authoritative tone.大卫以命令的口吻说话。
• Her smile was warm but authoritative.她的笑容很和蔼，同时又透着威严。

4 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

5 collapse   

vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷

参考例句：

• The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
• The engineer made a complete diagnosis of the bridge's collapse.工程师对桥的倒塌做了一次彻底的调查分析。

6 paradox   

n.似乎矛盾却正确的说法；自相矛盾的人(物)

参考例句：

• The story contains many levels of paradox.这个故事存在多重悖论。
• The paradox is that Japan does need serious education reform.矛盾的地方是日本确实需要教育改革。

7 eluded   

v.（尤指机敏地）避开( elude的过去式和过去分词 )；逃避；躲避；使达不到

参考例句：

• The sly fox nimbly eluded the dogs. 那只狡猾的狐狸灵活地躲避开那群狗。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• The criminal eluded the police. 那个罪犯甩掉了警察的追捕。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

8 encompassing   

v.围绕( encompass的现在分词 )；包围；包含；包括

参考例句：

• Being too large and all-encompassing is a common defect among state-owned enterprises. 过分追求大而全，是国企的一大通病。 来自互联网
• Our services are: all-encompassing, love justice and high quality. 我们的服务目标是：全方位、真情义、高质量。 来自互联网

9 alcoholic   

adj.（含）酒精的，由酒精引起的；n.酗酒者

参考例句：

• The alcoholic strength of brandy far exceeds that of wine.白兰地的酒精浓度远远超过葡萄酒。
• Alcoholic drinks act as a poison to a child.酒精饮料对小孩犹如毒药。

10 inebriated   

adj.酒醉的

参考例句：

• He was inebriated by his phenomenal success. 他陶醉于他显赫的成功。 来自互联网
• Drunken driver(a driver who is inebriated). 喝醉了的司机（醉酒的司机） 来自互联网

11 ruptured   

v.（使）破裂( rupture的过去式和过去分词 )；（使体内组织等）断裂；使（友好关系）破裂；使绝交

参考例句：

• They reported that the pipeline had ruptured. 他们报告说管道已经破裂了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The wall through Berlin was finally ruptured, prefiguring the reunification of Germany. 柏林墙终于倒塌了，预示着德国的重新统一。 来自辞典例句

12 erased   

v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；清除

参考例句：

• He erased the wrong answer and wrote in the right one. 他擦去了错误答案，写上了正确答案。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He removed the dogmatism from politics; he erased the party line. 他根除了政治中的教条主义，消除了政党界限。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 adoption   

n.采用，采纳，通过；收养

参考例句：

• An adoption agency had sent the boys to two different families.一个收养机构把他们送给两个不同的家庭。
• The adoption of this policy would relieve them of a tremendous burden.采取这一政策会给他们解除一个巨大的负担。

14 perilously   

adv.充满危险地，危机四伏地

参考例句：

• They were perilously close to the edge of the precipice. 他们离悬崖边很近，十分危险。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• It'seemed to me that we had come perilously close to failure already. 对我来说，好像失败和我只有一步之遥，岌岌可危。 来自互联网

15 narratives   

记叙文( narrative的名词复数 )； 故事； 叙述； 叙述部分

参考例句：

• Marriage, which has been the bourne of so many narratives, is still a great beginning. 结婚一向是许多小说的终点，然而也是一个伟大的开始。
• This is one of the narratives that children are fond of. 这是孩子们喜欢的故事之一。

16 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。