人物：创伤，爱和成为一个更好的男人:说唱歌手演员Common(2)

What did your mother, Dr. Mahalia Hines, say when you finally told her ahead of the book? It wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be.

当你终于在写这本书之前告诉了你的母亲玛哈丽亚·海恩斯(Mahalia Hines)博士时，她说了些什么？它没有我想象的那么重。

She's worked in Chicago public schools as a principal and teacher, so the stories she's heard.... Obviously it's different when it's your child.

她曾在芝加哥公立学校担任校长和教师，所以她听到的故事……很明显，如果是你的孩子，情况就不一样了。

But she said, "I hate that these things happened, and I know people that it's happened to before. Are you okay?" She checked on me.

但她说，“我讨厌这种事情发生，我知道以前也有人发生过这种事。你没事吧？”她这样跟我确认。

I guess she's looking at the end result. She's like, "You seemlike a happy person." But that's another reason why I talked about it. Some people that seem happy are not always happy.

我猜她在看最终结果。她说，“你看起来是个快乐的人。”但这也是我谈论它的另一个原因。有些看起来快乐的人并不总是快乐的。

A different tough conversation came when your only child, daughter Omoye, accused you of not being present enough for her.

当你唯一的孩子，女儿奥莫耶，指责你没有足够的时间陪在她身边时，另一场艰难的对话发生了。

It kind of shocked me because it was the first time I had ever heard it.

这让我有点震惊，因为这是我第一次听到这样的话。

She's very loving, funny, emotional, and she's starting to open up more. Me and her mom (Kim Jones) split up when Omoye was 1. That was tough.

她很有爱心，很有趣，很情绪化，而且她开始变得更加开放。我和她妈妈(金姆·琼斯)在奥莫耶1岁的时候分手了。这是艰难的。

The love is obviously there, but sometimes I wasn't able to have as much access and without that we couldn't build the strongest relationship.

爱是显而易见的，但有时我不能有那么多的接触，因此我们就没能建立最牢固的关系。

Some of it was me being in the pursuit of my career too. So that was hard to balance. Have you two gotten to a better place now? We're on that journey. It's been good.

有些是因为我也在追求我的事业。所以很难平衡。你们两个现在情况好转了吗？我们在好转。这是很好的。

We had a therapy session together, and I loved it. Well, not everything that was said, but I knew it was something that would help her move forward.

我们一起做了个心理治疗，我很喜欢。嗯，虽然不能说完全改变，但我知道这是能帮助她前进的事情。

A woman's relationship with her father definitely affects how she is in relationships.

女人与父亲的关系肯定会影响她在人际关系中的表现。

Speaking of relationships, you spend a good portion of the book analyzing¹ the ups and downs of your love life and failed romances.

说到感情，你在书中花了很长一段时间来分析你爱情生活的起起落落和失败的恋情。

Some of the hardest work I've done on myself has been after breakups. With Erykah Badu, that was my first love where you're just open and floating. When we split, I was 27 or 28.

我对自己做过的一些最艰难的事是在分手之后。和艾丽卡·巴杜在一起，那是我的初恋，你只是敞开心扉，飘浮不定。我们分手时，我二十七八岁。

I was in a haze², just going through the motions. It wasn't her fault, the relationship just didn't go forward. I was in another breakup after that that was heavy.

我当时很迷茫，只是经历各种不安。这不是她的错，这段感情就是没有进展。在那之后，我又经历了一次沉重的分手。

That one honestly is what sent me to therapy. What have you learned about yourself through therapy? How has it helped you? I get my head shaved once every three or four days.

老实说，这是我的治疗方法。通过治疗，你对自己有什么了解？它对你有什么帮助？我每三、四天刮一次头。

Somebody once said to me, "If you can go see a barber that much, go see someone who can help you on the inside too."

有人曾经对我说：“如果你能以这种频率去理发，那就去看那些能在内心帮助你的人。”

Talking about my intimacy³ avoidance and love addiction⁴ was an "aha" moment for me. The more you talk, the more you see the patterns you created for yourself.

对我来说，谈论我的亲密回避和爱情成瘾令我深受启发。你说得越多，你就越能看到你为自己创造的模式。

I'm open to a relationship now. I know how to communicate like an adult now. I want to be the best partner I can be. What advice would you give to your younger self?

我现在对恋爱持开放态度。我现在知道如何像成年人一样交流了。我想成为最好的伴侣。你对年轻时的自己有什么建议？

I would tell little Rashid to find every way to love yourself, because you've got all the things you need to be great.

我要告诉小拉希德千方百计爱自己，因为你已经拥有了变伟大所需要的一切。

Sometimes I would be sitting next to other entertainers, and I would dim myself because I felt like I didn't want to offend them, or they got more money than me, more record sales.

有时我会和其他艺人坐在一起，我会把自己的情绪隐藏起来，因为我觉得我不想冒犯他们，或者他们比我赚的钱多，唱片销量也比我高。

What I'm saying is love yourself no matter what. Embrace your greatness.

我想说的是无论如何都要爱你自己。拥抱你的伟大。

1 analyzing   

v.分析；分析( analyze的现在分词 )；分解；解释；对…进行心理分析n.分析

参考例句：

• Analyzing the date of some socialist countries presents even greater problem s. 分析某些社会主义国家的统计数据，暴露出的问题甚至更大。 来自辞典例句
• He undoubtedly was not far off the mark in analyzing its predictions. 当然，他对其预测所作的分析倒也八九不离十。 来自辞典例句

2 haze   

n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊

参考例句：

• I couldn't see her through the haze of smoke.在烟雾弥漫中，我看不见她。
• He often lives in a haze of whisky.他常常是在威士忌的懵懂醉意中度过的。

3 intimacy   

n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行

参考例句：

• His claims to an intimacy with the President are somewhat exaggerated.他声称自己与总统关系密切，这有点言过其实。
• I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.我希望能有个关于亲密的规则。

4 addiction   

n.上瘾入迷，嗜好

参考例句：

• He stole money from his parents to feed his addiction.他从父母那儿偷钱以满足自己的嗜好。
• Areas of drug dealing are hellholes of addiction,poverty and murder.贩卖毒品的地区往往是吸毒上瘾、贫困和发生谋杀的地方。