时代周刊:如果你爱他,请记得拥抱他(3)

I've spent my entire adult life far from my family and many of the people I'm closest to, so I've often had to rely on letters and texts and calls to maintain¹ these important connections, let the people I love know what I'm feeling.

我的整个成年生活都远离家人和许多我最亲近的人，所以我经常只能依靠书信、短信和电话来维持这些重要的联系，让我爱的人知道我的感受。

I have long been confident in my ability to express myself in words, written or spoken.

长期以来，我一直对自己用书面或口头语言表达自己的能力很有信心。

But when my mother was dying² and the pandemic kept me from her, I was constantly aware of just how much couldn't be expressed in words, especially once she had a harder time speaking or following the conversation.

但当母亲病危，而新冠又让我无法与她沟通时，我才意识到有很多东西是无法用语言表达出来的，尤其当她很难说话或者跟上对话时。

Although I called nearly every day, it never seemed like enough; by the end, she was mostly listening while I told her that I loved her.

虽然我几乎每天都会打电话给她，但总觉得不够。最后，当我告诉她我爱她时，她大部分都听进去了。

How much more, I thought, would it mean to both of us if I could simply sit next to her and hold her hand in silence?

我想，如果我能坐在她身边，默默地握着她的手，这对我们俩来说会不会更有意义？

How much more might she feel my love if she could feel my arms around her?

如果她能感觉到我搂着她的手臂，那么她还能感受到多少我的爱？

After she died, I was incredibly fortunate in the support I had from loved ones near and far.

她去世后，我非常幸运地得到了远近亲人的支持。

Friends sent food and flowers, cards and video messages. Neighbors wearing masks waved at me through my kitchen window, left bouquets³ on the front step.

朋友们送来食物、鲜花、卡片和视频信息。戴着口罩的邻居们通过我家厨房的窗户向我招手，在门前的台阶上留下花束。

But none of them could come into the house, sit beside me and listen to a story or give me a hug, and this felt like its own kind of loss.

但他们谁也无法进到屋里来，坐在我身边听我讲故事或者给我一个拥抱，这感觉就像失去了什么。

Watching my mother's livestreamed funeral from across the country, I realized that even an on-site gathering⁴ could feel lonely absent the embraces⁵ and comforting touches we often look for and expect when we mourn.

亲戚朋友都在全国各地观看母亲的葬礼直播，而我忽然意识到，即便是现场聚会也会感到孤独，因为没有了哀悼时经常期待的拥抱和安慰。

Very few people could attend because of COVID-19 restrictions⁶, and no one hugged anyone else—they all stayed a responsible 6 ft. apart, masks on, their faces and emotions more than half-hidden from one another.

由于新冠疫情的限制，参加葬礼的人很少，也没有彼此之间的相互拥抱，他们都保持着6英尺的距离，戴着口罩，他们的脸和情绪都半遮半掩。

Once or twice, I saw friends reaching out to one another from a distance, but they knew they couldn't come close enough for a real hug.

有一两次，我看到朋友们从远处向他人伸出手来，但他们知道自己无法靠近来一个真正的拥抱。

Lower infection rates and vaccinations⁷ came too late for my mom and me—and so many others—to have the last visits, the last hugs we wanted.

感染率的降低和疫苗接种的到来都太晚了，以至于母亲和我以及其他许多人都来不及去看望他们，来不及拥抱他们。

Still, I'm grateful to be vaccinated⁸ now, to find myself looking forward to life in the hopefully not too distant future when my entire family is protected.

尽管如此，我还是很感激现在接种了疫苗，我发现自己期待着在不太遥远的未来我的整个家庭都能受到保护。

Slowly, unbelievably, it's becoming more commonplace⁹ to socialize with people outside of our household, to meet a friend for dinner or drinks or have people over to our house.

慢慢地，令人难以置信的是，与家庭之外的人交往，与朋友共进晚餐、共饮美酒，或者邀请朋友来家里做客，变得越来越普遍。

We invited some friends (and their dog!) to a cookout on Memorial Day, greeting them with unmasked grins¹⁰ and open arms, and when the following weekend brought not one but two small get togethers, one of my kids joked, "It's just like the old days!"

在阵亡将士纪念日那天，我们邀请了一些朋友(还有他们的狗!)去野餐，并张开双臂，露齿而笑地向他们致意。接下来的周末，我们又举办了两场小型聚会，我的一个孩子开玩笑说，“就跟以前一样！”

Next month, I'll finally get to see my sister for the first time since Christmas 2019.

下个月，我终于可以在2019年圣诞节后第一次见到我的妹妹了。

It feels so good to share space with our loved ones, even though I'll never stop wishing that I could see and hug my mom again.

与爱的人分享空间的感觉真好，尽管我永远都希望能再次见到并拥抱我的母亲。

And I know it will be some time before I'm able to travel to see all of my nearest and dearest, who are scattered¹¹ throughout the country.

我知道，我还需要一段时间才能去看望所有分散在全国各地的我最亲近的人。

When I do see them, though, they've been warned: I have a lot of hugging to make up for. I expect I'll never take it for granted¹² again.

不过，在我见到他们之前我要警告他们一番：我有很多拥抱要弥补。我想我再也不会把拥抱视为理所当然了。

1 maintain   

vt.支撑；赡养，抚养；维持，保有

参考例句：

• He has to maintain a large family on a small salary.他不得不依靠很少的工资养活一家人。
• We must do our best to maintain sales at their usual rate.我们要尽力使销售额保持在平日的水平上。

2 dying   

adj.垂死的，临终的

参考例句：

• He was put in charge of the group by the dying leader.他被临终的领导人任命为集团负责人。
• She was shown into a small room,where there was a dying man.她被领进了一间小屋子，那里有一个垂死的人。

3 bouquets   

n.花束( bouquet的名词复数 )；（酒的）芳香

参考例句：

• The welcoming crowd waved their bouquets. 欢迎的群众摇动着花束。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• As the hero stepped off the platform, he was surrounded by several children with bouquets. 当英雄走下讲台时，已被几名手持花束的儿童围住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 gathering   

n.集会，聚会，聚集

参考例句：

• He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
• He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。

5 embraces   

拥抱( embrace的第三人称单数 )； 包括； 包含； 接受

参考例句：

• This course of study embraces every aspect of the subject. 本课程涉及这门学科的每个方面。
• His statement embraces all his arguments. 他的发言包括了他所有的论点。

6 restrictions   

约束( restriction的名词复数 )； 管制； 制约因素； 带限制性的条件（或规则）

参考例句：

• I found the restrictions irksome. 我对那些限制感到很烦。
• a snaggle of restrictions 杂乱无章的种种限制

7 vaccinations   

n.种痘，接种( vaccination的名词复数 )；牛痘疤

参考例句：

• Vaccinations ensure one against diseases. 接种疫苗可以预防疾病。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I read some publicity about vaccinations while waiting my turn at the doctor's. 在医生那儿候诊时，我读了一些关于接种疫苗的宣传。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 vaccinated   

[医]已接种的，种痘的，接种过疫菌的

参考例句：

• I was vaccinated against tetanus. 我接种了破伤风疫苗。
• Were you vaccinated against smallpox as a child? 你小时候打过天花疫苗吗？

9 commonplace   

adj.平凡的，普通的；n.寻常的事物，常见的事

参考例句：

• Soon it will be commonplace for men to travel to the moon.人们去月球旅行很快就会成为常事。
• What he has said is a mere commonplace view.他所说的不过是尘俗之见而已。

10 grins   

v.露齿而笑( grin的第三人称单数 )；露齿笑着表示

参考例句：

• How can you teach a child who just grins stupidly at you all day? 如果一个孩子整天都冲着你傻笑，你怎么能教他呢？ 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The grins of his friends discomposed Jack when he tried to make his speech. 杰克想要进行演讲时，他的朋友们咧着嘴笑，这使得他心里很慌乱。 来自《用法词典》

11 scattered   

adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的

参考例句：

• Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来，塞进文件夹里。

12 granted   

conj.假定，就算v.（退一步）承认( grant的过去式和过去分词 )；（尤指正式地或法律上）同意；准许；让渡

参考例句：

• The president granted a general amnesty for all political prisoners. 总统大赦了所有的政治犯。
• She feared she would not be granted re-entry into Britain. 她担心不会获准再次踏足英伦。