It Rained So Hard Tonight－今夜的雨很大(2)

We drifted apart somehow although I still loved him a lot. I had only visited him once during December since I was busy working and the 'Home' needed helpers desperately¹.It was the 24th of December. I realised that I had not visited Luke for almost three weeks! How funny time seemed to fly when you were busy. I had prepared a gift for Luke for the past two weeks. It was a piece of cardboard pasted with 3D star stickers ...I called the constellation² that I made up 'Love Luke'. I hurried to the hospital with the gift in my hands.I walked briskly to Luke's ward³. On the way there, I felt a sudden fear in my heart. I didn't know why but somehow, it made me hurry my pace. To my ultimate fear and worst nightmare, Luke was not in his ward. He was gone! I ran to the counter and asked for Luke but was handed a package and a letter instead. I opened the letter with my tears flowing down like mad.

虽然我非常的爱他，但我们仍会有分离。12月，因为工作的忙碌，"残疾人之家"又非常地需要帮助，我只去看了他一次。12月24日，我意识到已经有差不多三周没有去看望Luke了。当忙碌的时候，时间过得飞快，在过去两周我为Luke准备了一份礼物，是一张纸板上面用星星贴着"爱Luke"。我拿着礼物向医院赶去，步伐轻快的走向Luke的病房。可越是走近病房，害怕的感觉就越强烈，我不知道为什么，就是莫名其妙的，我加快了脚步。Luke不在病房，我的心沉了下去。他走了！我飞奔到服务台，询问Luke的下落。但是得到的却是一封信和一个包裹。我打开信，泪水涌了出来。

'My beloved Calista, Please don't cry when you get this letter. I just want to let you know that I will be happier at the place where I'll be going soon. God and my parents are waiting impatiently for me. I'm looking forward to see them again.I know how busy you've been these past few weeks and I really missed you terribly. I know how much U dreaded⁴ coming to the hospital although U never said anything. I felt it. To tell you the truth, I've thought of ending my life at times to end the pain and loneliness that my illness had brought me. However, I remembered that life is bestowed⁵ by the love of God and it would be a terrible mistake to kill myself just to escape misery⁶.Now, I'm glad God decided⁷ to take me away earlier. I don't want to be a burden to you and I can't thank you enough for all the love and patience that you had given me through the hard times and the good times. U love me just the way I am even though I can't even do a small thing like watch a movie with you. Please don't blame God for taking me away. He does it because He loves me, just as much as He loves you.Don't ask why all the time. Things are planned and they are meant to be this way. Don't keep thinking that God is unfair and stop bearing grudges⁸ against him. God is a fair God. Everything that you lost today will be compensated⁹ in another way tomorrow. Just keep on believing. Remember that I'll always love you even when I'm not by your side. You're the most beautiful person that I've ever 'seen' in my life, even though u r always complaining about the way you look. Beauty comes from within.Just to tell u that u will always be a part of me that I can't live without. Thank you once again for your sweetness and your wonderful unselfish love.P.S. I'm sorry that I can't celebrate Christmas with you. Here's a gift I've prepared for you ever since the start of December.Love, Luke.E.Pietra. I tore open the package, sobbing¹⁰ all the while. Inside it was a picture made up of tiny stickers of stars. On top of the black paper was written 'Love Calista'. He too had made up a constellation for me I knew how much effort and time he must have put in, in making the gift since he wasn't able to see.

"亲爱的Calista，当你拿到这封信的时候，请不要哭泣。我只是想让你知道，我就要到一个让我快乐的地方。上帝和我的父母亲正在那里等着我。我很希望再见到他们。我知道在过去的几周，你非常的忙碌，但是我真的非常想念你！我知道你来医院看我，是件很闷的事情，虽然你不曾说过，但我感觉得到。告诉你，此刻我想结束我的生命，结束疾病带给我的疼痛和孤单。我知道生命是上帝给予的爱，以结束生命来逃离痛苦是个很大的错误。现在，我很高兴上帝决定早早的带我离开这个世界。我不想成为你的负担，我不足以报答你在快乐和痛苦时给我的耐心和爱。你爱我，我也爱你，但是我不能为你做一点点诸如陪你看电影一类的小事。请不要责怪上帝把我带走，他这样做是因为他爱我，就像我爱你一样！不要问为什么，这一切都是上帝安排的，不要总是认为上帝不公平，或者不可容忍他吝惜他的祝福，上帝是公平的，你今天失去的一切将会在明天有所回报。继续相信上帝，记住我将一直爱你，即使我不在你身边！你是我所'见到'的最美丽的女孩，即使你一直抱怨你的外貌，美是来自内心的！再告诉你，你是我生命的一部分，我的生活不能没有你。再次谢谢你的甜蜜和你无私的爱！对不起，! 我不能和你共度圣诞节了，这是我为你准备的礼物，虽然现在只是12月的开始。爱你Luke"我抽泣着撕开包裹，是幅用小星星粘贴的星座"爱Calista"。他制作这幅画是多么困难，我知道他花了很多时间制作这幅画，因为他的眼睛是看不到东西的。

I cried my whole heart out that night at the hospital.It was Christmas Day, 25th of December,1994.Luke was laid into the ground. The rain was coming down hard. Nothing could describe my sadness. I was filled with remorse¹¹. In my busyness, I had neglected Luke. I should have spent more time with him. I didn't even get to see him for one last time before he died. I didn't really treasure him until he was gone. I missed him so much now. I wanted so much to hug him and to tell him how much I loved him. But it was all too late. I had let time slip by and it would never come back to me.

整个晚上，我在医院痛哭。这天是1994年12月25日圣诞节。Luke长眠在地下。雨下的很大。没什么语言可以描述我的悲伤。我充满自责，在我繁忙的时候，我忽视了Luke。我应该用更多的时间来陪伴他。我甚至没有在他离开这个世界之前见到他最后一面。直到他离开，我才真正意识到他的珍贵。现在我非常想念他！我很像拥抱他，告诉他我是多么多么的爱他！但一切都太迟了！时间匆匆，流逝的日子永远也不会回来了。

I had lost Luke forever. Forever, that word suddenly sounded so strange to me as I watched Luke's coffin¹² being lowered into the ground. I cried for the man who taught me the ways of life. The one person who changed my views towards many things. The angel who taught me to overlook others' flaws and to see the beauty behind imperfections. The one who told me to accept whatever cards were dealt to me. Now this one person had left my side forever. Gone like the two pieces of pictures that carried the words 'Love Luke' and 'Love Calista'. They were buried together with the memory of Luke.

"我永远的失去了Luke！"心里的这个声音越来越强烈，当我看到Luke棺木下葬的时候。我为那个曾经为我良师的人哭泣，他改变了我对事情的看法。他是天使，叫我如何忽略别人的缺点，去看到不完美背后的美丽。现在这个人永远的离开了我！像写着"爱Luke"和"爱Calista"的两幅画。他们同有着Luke的记忆一起埋葬了。

Treasure what you have now before it becomes regret, when it becomes too late. Time always slips us by when we least realise it. Let the people you love know what they mean to you, because you never know what might happen.....life is too fragile.

珍惜你所拥有的，在当它变成遗憾之前，否则一切就会太晚了。时间过的太快，当我们意识到时，它已经溜走了。告诉你所爱的人你有多么的爱他们，因为你永远也不可能知道将要发生什么，生命是脆弱的！

1 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

2 constellation   

n.星座n.灿烂的一群

参考例句：

• A constellation is a pattern of stars as seen from the earth. 一个星座只是从地球上看到的某些恒星的一种样子。
• The Big Dipper is not by itself a constellation. 北斗七星本身不是一个星座。

3 ward   

n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开

参考例句：

• The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
• During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时，我要点根火把，抵挡蚊虫。

4 dreaded   

adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
• He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》

5 bestowed   

赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• It was a title bestowed upon him by the king. 那是国王赐给他的头衔。
• He considered himself unworthy of the honour they had bestowed on him. 他认为自己不配得到大家赋予他的荣誉。

6 misery   

n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦

参考例句：

• Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
• He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

7 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

8 grudges   

不满，怨恨，妒忌( grudge的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He never grudges money. 他从不吝惜金钱。
• They bear grudges against each other. 他俩有过节儿。

9 compensated   

补偿，报酬( compensate的过去式和过去分词 )； 给（某人）赔偿（或赔款）

参考例句：

• The marvelous acting compensated for the play's weak script. 本剧的精彩表演弥补了剧本的不足。
• I compensated his loss with money. 我赔偿他经济损失。

10 sobbing   

<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的

参考例句：

• I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
• Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。

11 remorse   

n.痛恨，悔恨，自责

参考例句：

• She had no remorse about what she had said.她对所说的话不后悔。
• He has shown no remorse for his actions.他对自己的行为没有任何悔恨之意。

12 coffin   

n.棺材，灵柩

参考例句：

• When one's coffin is covered,all discussion about him can be settled.盖棺论定。
• The coffin was placed in the grave.那口棺材已安放到坟墓里去了。