英文佳作欣赏：Loving with an Open Hand

 　　Loving with an Open Hand

　　This week as I talked with a friend I recalled a story which I heard this summer.

　　"A compassionate¹ person, seeing a butterfly struggling to free itself from its cocoon², and wanting to help, very gently loosened the filaments³ to form an opening. The butterfly was freed, emerged from the cocoon, and fluttered about -- but could not fly. What the compassionate person did not know was that only through the birth struggle can the wings grow strong enough for flight. Its shortened life was spent on the ground; it never knew freedom, never really lived."

　　I call it learning to love with an open hand. It is a learning which has come slowly to me and has been wrought⁴ in the fires of pain and in the waters of patience. I am learning that I must free one I love, for if I clutch or cling, try to control, I lose what I try to hold.

　　If I try to change someone I love because I feel I know how that person should be, I rob him or her of a precious right, the right to take responsibility for one’s own life and choices and way of being. Whenever I impose my wish or want or try to exert power over another, I rob him or her of the full realisation of growth and maturation; I limit and thwart⁵ by my act of possession, no matter how kind my intention.

　　I can limit and injure by the kindest acts of protecting – and protection or concern over-extended can say to the other person more eloquently⁶ than words, "You are unable to care for yourself; I must take care of you because you are mine. I am responsible for you."

　　As I learn and practise more and more, I can say to one I love, "I love you, I value you, I respect you and I trust that you have or can develop the strength to become all that it is possible for you to become — if I don’t get in your way. I love you so much that I can set you free to walk beside me in joy and sadness.

　　I will share your tears but I will not ask you not to cry. I will respond to your need, I will care and comfort you but I will not hold you up when you can walk alone. I will stand ready to be with you in your grief and loneliness but I will not take it away from you. I will strive to listen to your meaning as well as your words but I shall not always agree.

　　Sometimes I will be angry and when I am, I will try to tell you openly so that I need not resent our differences or feel estranged⁷. I cannot always be with you or hear what you say for there are times when I must listen to myself and care for myself, and when that happens I will be as honest with you as I can be."

　　I am learning to say this, whether it be in words or in my way of being with others and myself, to those I love and for whom I care. And this I call loving with an open hand.

　　I cannot always keep my hands off the cocoon, but I am getting better at it!

1 compassionate   

adj.有同情心的，表示同情的

参考例句：

• She is a compassionate person.她是一个有同情心的人。
• The compassionate judge gave the young offender a light sentence.慈悲的法官从轻判处了那个年轻罪犯。

2 cocoon   

n.茧

参考例句：

• A cocoon is a kind of silk covering made by an insect.蚕茧是由昆虫制造的一种由丝组成的外包层。
• The beautiful butterfly emerged from the cocoon.美丽的蝴蝶自茧中出现。

3 filaments   

n.（电灯泡的）灯丝( filament的名词复数 )；丝极；细丝；丝状物

参考例句：

• Instead, sarcomere shortening occurs when the thin filaments'slide\" by the thick filaments. 此外，肌节的缩短发生于细肌丝沿粗肌丝“滑行”之际。 来自辞典例句
• Wetting-force data on filaments of any diameter and shape can easily obtained. 各种直径和形状的长丝的润湿力数据是易于测量的。 来自辞典例句

4 wrought   

v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的

参考例句：

• Events in Paris wrought a change in British opinion towards France and Germany.巴黎发生的事件改变了英国对法国和德国的看法。
• It's a walking stick with a gold head wrought in the form of a flower.那是一个金质花形包头的拐杖。

5 thwart   

v.阻挠，妨碍，反对；adj.横(断的)

参考例句：

• We must thwart his malevolent schemes.我们决不能让他的恶毒阴谋得逞。
• I don't think that will thwart our purposes.我认为那不会使我们的目的受到挫折。

6 eloquently   

adv. 雄辩地(有口才地, 富于表情地)

参考例句：

• I was toasted by him most eloquently at the dinner. 进餐时他口若悬河地向我祝酒。
• The poet eloquently expresses the sense of lost innocence. 诗人动人地表达了失去天真的感觉。

7 estranged   

adj.疏远的，分离的

参考例句：

• He became estranged from his family after the argument.那场争吵后他便与家人疏远了。
• The argument estranged him from his brother.争吵使他同他的兄弟之间的关系疏远了。