【英文短篇小说】War Dances（3）

DRUGSTORE INDIAN

In Bartell Drugs, I gave the pharmacist my prescription¹ for prednisone.

“Is this your first fill with us?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “And it won’t be my last.”

I felt like an ass², but she looked bored.

“It’ll take thirty minutes,” she said. “More or less. We’ll page you over the speakers.”

I don’t think I’d ever felt weaker. Or more vulnerable. Or more absurd. I was the weak antelope³ in the herd—yeah, the mangy fucker with the big limp and a sign that read, “Eat Me! I’m a Gimp!”

So for thirty minutes I walked the store and found myself shoving more and more useful shit into my shopping basket, as if I were filling my casket with things I’d need in the afterlife. I grabbed toothpaste, a Swiss Army knife, moisturizer, mouthwash, nonstick Band-Aids, antacid, protein bars, and extra razor blades. I grabbed pen and paper. And I also grabbed an ice scraper and sunscreen. Who can predict what kind of weather awaits us in Heaven?

This random⁴ shopping made me feel better for a few minutes, but then I stopped and walked to the toy aisle⁵. My boys needed gifts, Lego cars or something, for a lift, a shot of capitalist joy. But the selection of proper toys is both an art and a science. I have been wrong as often as right and have heard the sad song of a disappointed son.

Shit, I knew that if I died my sons would survive, even thrive, because of their graceful⁶ mother.

I thought of my father’s life. He had been just six when his father was killed in the Second World War. Then his mother, ill with tuberculosis⁷, had died a few months later. Six years old and my father was cratered⁸. In most ways, he never stopped being six. There was no religion, no magic, and no song or dance that could have helped my father.

I needed a drink of water, so I found the fountain and drank and drank until the pharmacist called my name.

“Have you taken these before?” she asked.

I said, “No, but they’re going to kick my ass, aren’t they?”

That made the pharmacist smile, so I felt sadly and briefly⁹ worthwhile. But another customer, some nosy¹⁰ hag, said, “You’ve got a lot of sleepless¹¹ nights ahead of you.”

I was shocked. I stammered¹², glared at her, and said, “Miss, how is this any of your business? Please, just fuck all the way off, O.K.?”

She had no idea what to say, so she just turned and walked away, and I pulled out my credit card and paid far too much for my goddam steroids, and forgot to bring the toys home to my boys.

EXIT INTERVIEW FOR MY FATHER

· True or False: When a reservation-raised Native American dies of alcoholism, it should be considered death by natural causes.

· Do you understand the term “wanderlust,” and, if you do, can you please tell us, in twenty-five words or less, what place made you wanderlust the most?

· Did you, when drunk, ever get behind the tattered¹³ wheel of a ’76 Ford¹⁴ three-speed van and somehow drive your family a thousand miles on an empty tank of gas?

· Is it true that the only literary term that has any real meaning in the Native American world is “road movie”?

· How many times, during any of your road trips, did your children ask you, “Are we there yet?”

· In twenty-five words or less, please define “there.”

· Sir, in your thirty-nine years as a parent you broke your children’s hearts, collectively and individually, six hundred and twelve times, and you did this without ever striking any human being in anger. Does this absence of physical violence make you a better man than you might otherwise have been?

· Without using the words “man” or “good,” can you please define what it means to be a good man?

· Do you think you will see angels before you die? Do you think angels will come to escort you to Heaven? As the angels are carrying you to Heaven, how many times will you ask, “Are we there yet?”

· Your son distinctly remembers stopping once or twice a month at that grocery store in Freeman, Washington, where you would buy him a red-white-and-blue rocket Popsicle and purchase for yourself a pickled pig foot. Your son distinctly remembers that the feet still had their toenails and little tufts of pig fur. Could this be true? Did you actually eat such horrendous¹⁵ food?

· Your son has often made the joke that you were the only Indian of your generation who went to Catholic school on purpose. This is, of course, a tasteless joke that makes light of the forced incarceration¹⁶ and subsequent physical, spiritual, cultural, and sexual abuse of tens of thousands of Native American children in Catholic and Protestant boarding schools. In consideration of your son’s questionable¹⁷ judgment¹⁸ in telling jokes, do you think there should be any moral limits placed on comedy?

· Your other son and your two daughters, all over thirty-six years of age, still live in your house. Do you think that this is a lovely expression of tribal¹⁹ culture? Or is it a symptom of extreme familial co-dependency? Or is it both things at the same time?

· F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote that the sign of a superior mind “is the ability to hold two opposing ideas at the same time.” Do you believe this to be true? And is it also true that you once said, “The only time white people tell the truth is when they keep their mouths shut”?

· A poet once wrote, “Pain is never added to pain. It multiplies.” Can you tell us, in twenty-five words or less, exactly how much we all hate mathematical blackmail²⁰?

· Your son wrote this poem to explain one of the most significant nights in his life:

Mutually Assured Destruction

When I was nine, my father sliced his knee

With a chainsaw. But he let himself bleed

And finished cutting down one more tree

Before his boss drove him TO EMERGENCY.

Late that night, stoned on morphine and beer,

My father needed my help to steer²¹

His pickup²² into the woods. “Watch for deer,”

My father said. “Those things just appear

Like magic.” It was an Indian summer

And we drove through warm rain and thunder,

Until we found that chainsaw, lying under

The fallen pine. Then I watched, with wonder,

As my father, shotgun-rich and impulse-poor,

Blasted that chainsaw dead. “What was that for?”

I asked. “Son,” my father said. “Here’s the score.

Once a thing tastes blood, it will come for more.”

· Well, first of all, as you know, you did cut your knee with a chainsaw, but in direct contradiction to your son’s poem:

(a) You immediately went to the emergency room.

(b) Your boss called your wife, who drove you to the emergency room.

(c) You were given morphine, but even you were not stupid enough to drink alcohol while on serious narcotics²³.

(d) You and your son did not get into the pickup that night.

(e) And, even if you had driven the pickup, you were not injured seriously enough to need your son’s help with the pedals and/or the steering²⁴ wheel.

(f) You never in your life used the word “appear,” and you certainly never used the phrase “like magic.”

(g) You think that “Indian summer” is a questionable seasonal²⁵ reference for an Indian poet to use.

(h) What the fuck is “warm rain and thunder”? Well, everybody knows what “warm rain” is, but what the fuck is “warm thunder”?

(i) You never went looking for that chainsaw, because it belonged to the Spokane Tribe of Indians, and what kind of freak would want to reclaim²⁶ the chainsaw that had just cut the shit out of his knee?

(j) You also agree that the entire third stanza²⁷ of this poem sounds like a Bruce Springsteen song, and not necessarily one of the great ones.

(k) And yet “shotgun-rich and impulse-poor” is one of the greatest descriptions your son has ever written and probably redeems²⁸ the entire poem.

(l) You never owned a shotgun. You did own a few rifles in your youth, but did not own so much as a pellet gun during the last thirty years of your life.

(m) You never said, in any context, “Once a thing tastes blood, it will come for more.”

(n) But, as you read it, you know that is absolutely true and does indeed sound suspiciously like your entire life philosophy.

(o) Other summations²⁹ of your life philosophy include: “It’s all wasted days and wasted nights.”

(p) And: “If God really loved Indians, he would have made us white people.”

(q) And: “Oscar Robertson should be the man on the N.B.A. logo. They only put Jerry West on there because he’s a white guy.”

(r) And: “A peanut-butter sandwich with onions—damn, that’s the way to go.”

(s) And: “Why eat a pomegranate when you can eat a plain old apple. Or a carrot. When it comes to fruit and vegetables, eat only the simple stuff.”

(t) And: “If you really want a woman to love you, then you have to dance. And if you don’t want to dance, then you’re going to have to work extra hard to make a woman love you forever, and you will always run the risk that she will leave you at any second for a man who knows how to tango.”

(u) And: “I really miss those cafeterias they used to have at Kmart. I don’t know why they stopped having those. If there is a Heaven, I firmly believe it’s a Kmart cafeteria.”

(v) And: “A father always knows what his sons are doing. For instance, boys, I knew you were sneaking³⁰ that Hustler magazine out of my bedroom. You remember that one. Where actors who looked like Captain Kirk and Lieutenant³¹ Uhura were screwing on the bridge of the Enterprise. Yeah, that one. I know you kept borrowing it. I let you borrow it. Remember this: men and pornography are like plants and sunshine. To me, porn is photosynthesis³².”

(w) And: “Your mother is a better man than me. Mothers are almost always better men than men are.”

REUNION

After she returned from Italy, my wife climbed into bed with me. I felt as if I hadn’t slept comfortably in years.

I said, “There was a rumor³³ that I’d grown a tumor³⁴, but I killed it with humor.”

“How long have you been waiting to tell me that one?” she asked.

“Oh, probably since the first time some doctor put his fingers in my brain.”

We made love. We fell asleep. But, agitated³⁵ by the steroids, I woke at 2, 3, 4, and 5 A.M. The bed was killing³⁶ my back, so I lay flat on the floor. I wasn’t going to die anytime soon, at least not because of my little friend Tumor, but that didn’t make me feel any more comfortable or comforted. I felt distant from the world—from my wife and my sons, from my mother and my siblings³⁷, from all my friends. I felt closest to those who’d always had fingers in their brains.

I didn’t feel any closer to the world six months later, when another MRI revealed that my meningioma had not grown in size or changed its shape.

“You’re looking good,” my doctor said. “How’s your hearing?”

“I think I’ve got about ninety per cent of it back.”

“Well, then, the steroids worked. Good.”

And I didn’t feel any more intimate with the world nine months after that, when one more MRI made my doctor hypothesize that my meningioma might only be more scar tissue from the hydrocephalus.

“Frankly,” he said, “your brain is beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I said, though it was the oddest compliment I’d ever received.

I wanted to call my father and tell him that a white man thought my brain was beautiful. But I couldn’t tell him anything. He was dead. I told my wife and my sons that I was O.K. I told my mother and my siblings. I told my friends. But none of them laughed as hard about my beautiful brain as I knew my father—the drunk bastard—would have. ♦

1 prescription   

n.处方，开药；指示，规定

参考例句：

• The physician made a prescription against sea- sickness for him.医生给他开了个治晕船的药方。
• The drug is available on prescription only.这种药只能凭处方购买。

2 ass   

n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人

参考例句：

• He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
• An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。

3 antelope   

n.羚羊；羚羊皮

参考例句：

• Choosing the antelope shows that China wants a Green Olympics.选择藏羚羊表示中国需要绿色奥运。
• The tiger was dragging the antelope across the field.老虎拖着羚羊穿过原野。

4 random   

adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动

参考例句：

• The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。

5 aisle   

n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道

参考例句：

• The aisle was crammed with people.过道上挤满了人。
• The girl ushered me along the aisle to my seat.引座小姐带领我沿着通道到我的座位上去。

6 graceful   

adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的

参考例句：

• His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
• The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。

7 tuberculosis   

n.结核病，肺结核

参考例句：

• People used to go to special health spring to recover from tuberculosis.人们常去温泉疗养胜地治疗肺结核。
• Tuberculosis is a curable disease.肺结核是一种可治愈的病。

8 cratered   

adj.有坑洞的，多坑的v.火山口( crater的过去分词 )；弹坑等

参考例句：

• The surface cratered with the constant dropping of water. 表面因经常滴水而成坑。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Artillery cratered the roads. 炮击后大路布满了弹坑。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

9 briefly   

adv.简单地，简短地

参考例句：

• I want to touch briefly on another aspect of the problem.我想简单地谈一下这个问题的另一方面。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group.他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

10 nosy   

adj.鼻子大的，好管闲事的，爱追问的；n.大鼻者

参考例句：

• Our nosy neighbours are always looking in through our windows.好管闲事的邻居总是从我们的窗口望进来。
• My landlord is so nosy.He comes by twice a month to inspect my apartment.我的房东很烦人，他每个月都要到我公寓视察两次。

11 sleepless   

adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的

参考例句：

• The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
• One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上，我听说了一个传闻，把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。

12 stammered   

v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He stammered most when he was nervous. 他一紧张往往口吃。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Barsad leaned back in his chair, and stammered, \"What do you mean?\" 巴萨往椅背上一靠，结结巴巴地说，“你是什么意思？” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

13 tattered   

adj.破旧的，衣衫破的

参考例句：

• Her tattered clothes in no way detracted from her beauty.她的破衣烂衫丝毫没有影响她的美貌。
• Their tattered clothing and broken furniture indicated their poverty.他们褴褛的衣服和破烂的家具显出他们的贫穷。

14 Ford   

n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过

参考例句：

• They were guarding the bridge,so we forded the river.他们驻守在那座桥上，所以我们只能涉水过河。
• If you decide to ford a stream,be extremely careful.如果已决定要涉过小溪，必须极度小心。

15 horrendous   

adj.可怕的，令人惊惧的

参考例句：

• He described it as the most horrendous experience of his life.他形容这是自己一生中最可怕的经历。
• The mining industry in China has a horrendous safety record.中国的煤矿工业具有令人不安的安全记录。

16 incarceration   

n.监禁，禁闭；钳闭

参考例句：

• He hadn't changed much in his nearly three years of incarceration. 在将近三年的监狱生活中，他变化不大。 来自辞典例句
• Please, please set it free before it bursts from its long incarceration! 请你，请你将这颗心释放出来吧！否则它会因长期的禁闭而爆裂。 来自辞典例句

17 questionable   

adj.可疑的，有问题的

参考例句：

• There are still a few questionable points in the case.这个案件还有几个疑点。
• Your argument is based on a set of questionable assumptions.你的论证建立在一套有问题的假设上。

18 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

19 tribal   

adj.部族的，种族的

参考例句：

• He became skilled in several tribal lingoes.他精通几种部族的语言。
• The country was torn apart by fierce tribal hostilities.那个国家被部落间的激烈冲突弄得四分五裂。

20 blackmail   

n.讹诈，敲诈，勒索，胁迫，恫吓

参考例句：

• She demanded ＄1000 blackmail from him.她向他敲诈了1000美元。
• The journalist used blackmail to make the lawyer give him the documents.记者讹诈那名律师交给他文件。

21 steer   

vt.驾驶，为…操舵；引导；vi.驾驶

参考例句：

• If you push the car, I'll steer it.如果你来推车，我就来驾车。
• It's no use trying to steer the boy into a course of action that suits you.想说服这孩子按你的方式行事是徒劳的。

22 pickup   

n.拾起，获得

参考例句：

• I would love to trade this car for a pickup truck.我愿意用这辆汽车换一辆小型轻便卡车。||The luck guy is a choice pickup for the girls.那位幸运的男孩是女孩子们想勾搭上的人。

23 narcotics   

n.麻醉药( narcotic的名词复数 )；毒品；毒

参考例句：

• The use of narcotics by teenagers is a problem in many countries. 青少年服用麻醉药在许多国家中都是一个问题。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Police shook down the club, looking for narcotics. 警方彻底搜查了这个俱乐部，寻找麻醉品。 来自《简明英汉词典》

24 steering   

n.操舵装置

参考例句：

• He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration. 他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。
• Steering according to the wind, he also framed his words more amicably. 他真会看风使舵，口吻也马上变得温和了。

25 seasonal   

adj.季节的，季节性的

参考例句：

• The town relies on the seasonal tourist industry for jobs.这个城镇依靠季节性旅游业提供就业机会。
• The hors d'oeuvre is seasonal vegetables.餐前小吃是应时蔬菜。

26 reclaim   

v.要求归还，收回；开垦

参考例句：

• I have tried to reclaim my money without success.我没能把钱取回来。
• You must present this ticket when you reclaim your luggage.当你要取回行李时，必须出示这张票子。

27 stanza   

n.（诗）节，段

参考例句：

• We omitted to sing the second stanza.我们漏唱了第二节。
• One young reporter wrote a review with a stanza that contained some offensive content.一个年轻的记者就歌词中包含有攻击性内容的一节写了评论。

28 redeems   

补偿( redeem的第三人称单数 )； 实践； 解救； 使…免受责难

参考例句：

• The acting barely redeems the play. 该剧的演出未能补救剧本的缺点。
• There is a certain insane charm about Sellers; the very vastness of his schemes redeems them. 塞勒斯有一种迹近疯狂的魔力，正因为他的计划过于庞大，它们才能使人相信。

29 summations   

n.总和( summation的名词复数 )；加在一起；总结；概括

参考例句：

• The summations of forces in this and that directions must be zero. 在这个和那个方向上的合力必定为零。 来自辞典例句
• Summations are almost invariably indicated ellipses instead of the more prevalent sigma notation. 在表示“连加”的式子中，几乎一成不变地使用省略号来代替更为流行的“∑”符号。 来自辞典例句

30 sneaking   

a.秘密的，不公开的

参考例句：

• She had always had a sneaking affection for him. 以前她一直暗暗倾心于他。
• She ducked the interviewers by sneaking out the back door. 她从后门偷偷溜走，躲开采访者。

31 lieutenant   

n.陆军中尉，海军上尉；代理官员，副职官员

参考例句：

• He was promoted to be a lieutenant in the army.他被提升为陆军中尉。
• He prevailed on the lieutenant to send in a short note.他说动那个副官，递上了一张简短的便条进去。

32 photosynthesis   

n.光合作用

参考例句：

• In apple trees photosynthesis occurs almost exclusively in the leaves.苹果树的光合作用几乎只发生在叶内。
• Chloroplasts are the structures in which photosynthesis happens.叶绿体就是光合作用发生的地方。

33 rumor   

n.谣言，谣传，传说

参考例句：

• The rumor has been traced back to a bad man.那谣言经追查是个坏人造的。
• The rumor has taken air.谣言流传开了。

34 tumor   

n.（肿）瘤，肿块(英)tumour

参考例句：

• He was died of a malignant tumor.他死于恶性肿瘤。
• The surgeons irradiated the tumor.外科医生用X射线照射那个肿瘤。

35 agitated   

adj.被鼓动的，不安的

参考例句：

• His answers were all mixed up,so agitated was he.他是那样心神不定，回答全乱了。
• She was agitated because her train was an hour late.她乘坐的火车晚点一个小时，她十分焦虑。

36 killing   

n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财

参考例句：

• Investors are set to make a killing from the sell-off.投资者准备清仓以便大赚一笔。
• Last week my brother made a killing on Wall Street.上个周我兄弟在华尔街赚了一大笔。

37 siblings   

n.兄弟，姐妹( sibling的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• A triplet sleeps amongst its two siblings. 一个三胞胎睡在其两个同胞之间。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She has no way of tracking the donor or her half-siblings down. 她没办法找到那个捐精者或她的兄弟姐妹。 来自时文部分