英语杂谈：71 what to do when you feel lonely

All people go through stages in their lives when their friends seem few and far between. It might be because they have changed schools or moved to another place. Perhaps some friends have moved away, or maybe they have just never been really good at making friends. The point is, people get lonely and don’t know what to do.

Other people around you look so cool and you often feel left behind or clueless, or that the friends you do have do not really understand you. So what can be done?

Accept people’s differences. Not everyone has to do things the same way or behave the same way. Find other people who feel about things the way you do. That is always a good basis for a friendship/

Nurture¹ the friends you do have. Friendships do not just happen, they need work. Phoning a friend once in a while, or being there when they need you most probably means that they will do the same for you.

Accept all invitations. Even if it is to a neighborhood street party, you never know who else will be there. Giggling² together about the terrible music or the awful food could start a new friendship.

Look in familiar places. Your cousins or children of your parents’ friends may have been awful when they were five, but who knows what they are like now. don’t just write them off because they broke the wheel off your toy truck.

Birds of a feather. Get involved in activities you enjoy outside school, whether those are sports, art classes, dancing classes, or whatever triggers³ your interest. Chances are great that you can meet others there who are likeminded.

Start a club. Extend⁴ you existing circle of friends by starting a club of some sort. Going hiking together or regularly going to the movies doesn’t take a lot of time.

Be loyal⁵ and trustworthy. If friends know they can depend on you, they will not drop you. Never gossip⁶ about your friends to others as it always gets back to them somehow. Don’t pass on things which they have told you in confidence, either. The more people trust you, the more they will confide⁷ in you.

Be resistance-wise. You don’t have to follow everything your peer⁸ group does, but unless you want to draw lots of not very positive attention, run with the crowd, unless there is some real moral⁹ consideration involved. You don’t have to drink or take drugs because others are doing it, but go with the majority vote on the favorite cartoon.

Trust your parents’ instincts¹⁰. Most of the time you don’t think of your parents when choosing your friends. After all, whose friends are they supposed to be? But generally though certainly not always, when your parents dislike a friend of yours, they are often proved right in the long run and lose out on both sides. You are both disappointed in your friend and your parents have an opportunity to say,” I told you so.”

 

1 nurture   

n.养育，照顾，教育；滋养，营养品；vt.养育，给与营养物，教养，扶持

参考例句：

• The tree grows well in his nurture.在他的培育下这棵树长得很好。
• The two sisters had received very different nurture.这俩个姊妹接受过极不同的教育。

2 giggling   

v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• We just sat there giggling like naughty schoolchildren. 我们只是坐在那儿像调皮的小学生一样的咯咯地傻笑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I can't stand her giggling, she's so silly. 她吃吃地笑，叫我真受不了，那样子傻透了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

3 triggers   

（枪）扳机( trigger的名词复数 )； 引爆器； 扳柄； [电子学]起动线路

参考例句：

• The rapid movement of an object towards the eye triggers the blink reflex. 快速朝眼前移动物体，就会引起眨眼反应。
• Some people say that violent movies are potential triggers for juvenile delinquency. 一些人说暴力影片可能引起青少年犯罪。

4 extend   

v.伸开；展开，伸展；扩大；加大

参考例句：

• Can you extend your visit for a few days more?你能把你的访问再延长几天吗？
• The examinations extend over two weeks.考试持续两个星期。

5 loyal   

adj.忠诚的，忠心的

参考例句：

• He is a loyal friend.他是一位忠诚的朋友。
• I judge him to be loyal.我认为他很忠诚。

6 gossip   

n.流言蜚语，爱说长道短的人；vi.传播流言

参考例句：

• She broadcast the gossip all over the town.她将这个流言传遍全镇。
• They spread a lot of tacky gossip about his love life.关于他的爱情生活，他们散播了许多不堪的闲言闲语。

7 confide   

v.向某人吐露秘密

参考例句：

• I would never readily confide in anybody.我从不轻易向人吐露秘密。
• He is going to confide the secrets of his heart to us.他将向我们吐露他心里的秘密。

8 peer   

n.同辈，同等地位的人，伙伴，贵族；vi.仔细看，费力地看

参考例句：

• Children are easily influenced by their peer.孩子很容易受同辈影响。
• He is a peer.他是一个贵族。

9 moral   

adj.道德(上)的，有道德的；n.品行，寓意，道德

参考例句：

• Moral beauty ought to be ranked above all other beauty.品德之美应列于其他美之上。
• He deceived us into believing that he could give us moral support.他骗得我们相信他能给我们道义上的支持。

10 instincts   

本能，天性，直觉( instinct的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The sight of the hopeless little boy aroused her maternal instincts. 那个绝望的小男孩的模样唤起了她的母性。
• Don't ask me; follow your instincts and do what you think is right. 不要问我，凭你自己的直觉行事，你认为什么是对的就去做什么。