A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He thr...
Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but never boiled over-just simmered. On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends. Upon his return...
Rope or Ox? The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it u...
Class, Lass and Ass Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow. A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor a...
Patient:I'm so frightened, this is my first operation. Surgeon:I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too. 病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。 外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术...
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and...
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. 一个画家问画廊的主人有没有人对他正在展览的画作感兴趣。 I've got good news and bad news, the owner replied. 我有个好消...
Ask Your Own It was a cold，raw day at Washington．Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor．The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius．Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask a...
A Silly Father Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became very angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said...
He Swore to Die If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died. 他曾发誓要死 如果你不答应嫁给我，他发誓，我就要去死。 六十年后，他死了。...
Not too Bad Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show? No, but I am encouraged, he replied. Somebody stole one. 不算太坏 你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？ 没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，他回答说，有人偷走了一幅...
It's Not My Fault Mother (reprimanding her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail. Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling. 不是我的错 妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。 女儿：妈，...
Creative Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job. I...
Raccoons Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He...
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer．No，maam， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon． Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，Of course， we'll have somesoon， W...
