Class and Ass Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today． A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out thec． Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of...
I Could Do It Slower Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth? Dentist: Fifty dollars. Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work? Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like. 我可以干得慢一些 病人：拔一颗牙收费多...
Paddy There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own，on which he bestowed the name of Paddy，and loved mightily．He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays，which he...
前台小姐：hello.你好 老外：hi.嗨 前台小姐：you have what thing？你有什么事？ 老外：can you speak english？你能讲英语吗？ 前台小姐：if i not speak english, i am speaking what？ 如果我讲的不是英语，那是...
There was a wife who told her husband, Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring. The husband put down his newspaper and said, Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them. 妻子告诉丈夫说：昨天晚上我梦见你给我买...
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. As long as you're asleep, it read, you have a job. But as...
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the note to the rich man...
King Guaire walked amid his court The palaceyard and riverside And there to three old beggars said， You that have wandered far and wide Can ravel out what's in my head． Do men who least desire get most， Or get the most who most desire？ A begg...
Too Smart for Dad Young man, said the angry father from the head of stairs, didn't I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in? You did, admitted the boyfriend, it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gong so it...
CD Player While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?...
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . Mump umn Kmpfhm, was all I heard. Drew, I scolded, no one can understand a word you're saying. He says he wants some ketchup, my husband said calmly A...
The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half...
No Problem A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. How can I help you? asked the stylist. I went for a hair transplant, the guy explained, but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll...
What's your name? A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks...
What Are The Two Words？ A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter．My dear， said the old lady，I wish you would do something for me．I wish you would promise me never to use two words．One islousyand the other isswell．...
