When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest （热情）for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too...
A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explaine...
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several ya...
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old sonran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. Daddy, what happened to him? the son asked. He died and went to Heaven, the dad rep...
A man spoke frantically (疯狂地）into the phone, My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!Is this her first child? the doctor asked. No! the man shouted, This is her husband!...
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said,Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. Well, good m...
A businessman enters a tavern(酒馆, 客栈), sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he fin...
At age 4, success is not peeing your pants. At age 12, success is having friends. At age 20, success is having sex. At age 35, success is making money. At age 60, success is having sex. At age 70, success is having friends. At age 80, success is not...
There's the sad story of the poor guy who was in a terrible motorcycle accident. When he came out from under the anesthetic(麻药）, the doctor was leaning over him anxiously. Son, he said, I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is...
Honey, said this husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!I know all that.Then why did you invite a...
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, I'm the Boss. He then taped it to his office door. Later th...
A young girl was told she needed an X-ray. She went in and seemed especially nervous. When she came out of the X-ray room, she told her mother, They took a picture of my bones.Yes, dear, replied the mother. Did everything go all right?Sure, said the...
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashedinto a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a l...
An old snake goes to see his Doctor. Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days.The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he'svery dep...
A guest in a posh (时髦的，华丽的）hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile, Good Morning, sir. What a wonderfulmorning! I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked tha...
