PBS高端访谈:边境出生女记者的心路历程

WILLIAM BRANGHAM: Now the story of a daughter who grew up on the border between the United States and Mexico. She searches for herself, while also coming to grips with her father's mental illness. Amna Nawaz has the latest selection from the NewsHour Bookshelf.

AMNA NAWAZ: There's a fluidity to live lives along the United States southern border with Mexico that at times has had few boundaries. That is the life Jean Guerrero has lived, the child of a Mexican father and a Puerto Rican mother. Her memoir¹ Crux² tell stories from both sides of the border, which Jean is intimately familiar with as a full-time³ reporter for KPBS San Diego. Jean, welcome to the NewsHour here in person. We have talked remotely, but it's really nice to have you here in the studio.

JEAN GUERRERO, Author, Crux: I'm so happy to be here. Thank you.

AMNA NAWAZ: Congratulations on the book. It's a beautiful read. I want to ask you, though. You are a journalist. You have talked about your philosophy, the truth and nothing but the truth. When you're talking about your own family, though, it's really hard to disentangle fact from emotions sometimes. What was that like for you?

JEAN GUERRERO: I mean, for me, the reason I chose to do this very personal story as journalism⁴ was because I felt that I needed these fact-based tools that I developed as a journalist to sort of disentangle myself from my father. I mean, this is a story about my quest to understand my father, who for a long time believed that the CIA was after him, and that, and it was very difficult for him to tell what was fact and fiction. And he sort of brought me into that as a little girl, because he was, he had such a strong influence on me as a child, because he was my primary caretaker for the first few years. And I spent so much time with him. So I felt like I needed to use journalism to disentangle myself from my father, figure out what of the things that he was telling me were true and what wasn't true, so that I myself could sort of start to follow my own path.

AMNA NAWAZ: This is your story, ostensibly, but the through-line is your father, right? Why that lens? Why did you decide to present it that way?

JEAN GUERRERO: The change that he underwent when he became first depressed⁵, and then eventually became convinced that the CIA was beaming voices into his head, and doing things like wrapping himself up in aluminum⁶ foil to block out the voices, allegedly at one point, he destroyed the condominium that he was living in, that drastic change between the playful, loving, doting⁷ father that I had had as a child, and this sort of lost father that he became was very traumatic for me. And I developed this obsession⁹ with trying to recapture the father that he once was. And, as a teenager, that manifested in really self-destructive behavior, where I was experimenting with drugs, and I was going into Mexico and doing these very irresponsible things. So I saw Mexico as this way of exploring my father. He instilled¹⁰ in me my journalistic curiosity, because I believe that that curiosity is driven by the sort of same impulse that drives madness, in a sense. It's this sort of restlessness of intellect.

AMNA NAWAZ: You talk a lot about how you're perceived growing up, how people see you. But as a lot of people with hyphenated identities know, it's also about how you self-identify. So, after this journey, how do you self-identify?

JEAN GUERRERO: I don't feel like I have this fixed¹¹ identity. Like, for me, discovering who I was, it's always about navigating¹² lines between the United States and Mexico. My mother's from Puerto Rico. So there's that. But not just in terms of crossing the border between countries, but also navigating the line between my mother and my father, because my mother, she's a doctor, and she was always a very by-the-book, by-the-rules person. And then you have my father, who's this very anti-establishment, some would say anti-reality figure. So, my identity is very much about trying to find that line between extremes.

AMNA NAWAZ: In your professional life as a reporter, you have been doing some incredible reporting along the southern U.S. border, and specifically on separated families. More recently, we have been able to feature your work here on the NewsHour too. How has this story that you have uncovered about your own family and how you cross borders, how your ancestors crossed borders, how has that influenced or informed how you report on this story now?

JEAN GUERRERO: I think that there's this feeling that, once these families are reunited, that the story's over, that, finally, justice has been done, the families that were separated are together again, and it's a happy ending. But these children have been separated from their parents, in some cases for months, some of them under the age of 5, and that's a trauma⁸ that is long-lasting. And it's something that I know, from talking to these families, they really want access to mental health services. This is, the struggle for them is not over, because the children are acting¹³ out, they're having nightmares, night terrors, crying all the time, because they think that their parents are going to be taken away from them again.

AMNA NAWAZ: What is your relationship like today with your father, to whom you have devoted¹⁴ so much time and energy exploring and understanding?

What's it like today?

JEAN GUERRERO: He was initially¹⁵ very concerned about it, because he thought that it would high, it would bring the attention of the CIA and because of the things that he believed. But when he realized what was driving me to write it, it was just this thing that I had had to do since I was a teenager, really, he became very supportive. And he actually showed up to my launch party in San Diego. And I was very surprised to see him there. He just asked me not to tell anybody that he was there, because he didn't want people turning around and looking at him and saying, that's the father in the book. But he was there, and he showed up on his motorcycle and stood in the front row. And I, it just meant the world to me.

AMNA NAWAZ: It's a beautiful story, both his story yours, your entire family's, going back generations. The book is Crux: A Cross-Border Memoir. Jean Guerrero, thanks so much for being here.

JEAN GUERRERO: Thank you so much for having me.

威廉·布朗汉姆：现在讲述一个在美墨边境长大的女儿，她的故事。她寻找自己，同时也处理着她父亲的精神疾病。阿姆纳·纳瓦兹为我们带来《新闻时报》书架的最新作品。

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：在美国与墨西哥南部边境沿边生活有一种流动性，有时那几乎没有界限。这就是珍妮·格雷罗的生活，一个墨西哥父亲和波多黎各母亲的孩子。她的回忆录《症结》讲述了边境两边的故事，这些故事，身为KPBS San Diego的全职记者珍妮再熟悉不过了。珍妮，欢迎亲临《新闻时报》节目现场。我们已经有过远程交谈，但是你能来，我真的很高兴。

珍妮·格雷罗，《症结》作者：我很高兴来到这里。谢谢。

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：祝贺你的新书。这是一本很棒的读物。不过我想问你。你是一名记者。你已经谈到了你的哲学，真相还是真相。但是，当你谈论自己的家庭时，有时候很难将事实与情绪区分开来。那对你来说是什么样的？

珍妮·格雷罗：我的意思是，对我而言，我之所以选择将这个非常个人化的故事视为新闻，是因为我觉得我需要这些基于事实的工具，这些工具是我作为记者开发的，可以将自己与父亲分开。我的意思是，这是一个故事，讲述了我苦苦探寻去理解父亲的故事，他很长一段时间以来一直认为中央情报局在追踪他，而且他很难分清事实和虚构。

他有点把我当成一个小女孩，因为他是，他小时候对我有如此强烈的影响力，因为他是我最初几年的主要看护人。我很多时间是和他在一起的。所以我觉得我需要利用新闻来解除自己与父亲的牵扯，弄清楚他告诉我的事情中，哪些是真实的，哪些是不真实的，以便我自己可以开始走自己的道路。

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：是你的故事，表面上看，但主线是你的父亲，对吧？为什么拍那个镜头？你为什么决定这样呈现呢？

珍妮·格雷罗：他在第一次感到沮丧时经历了一些变化，然后他最终确信中央情报局正将声音投射入他的头脑，于是做了一些事情，比如将自己包裹在铝箔中以阻挡那些声音， 据说，有一次，他摧毁了他所居住的共管公寓，和我小时候心里那个顽皮，充满爱心，对我充满溺爱的父亲，截然不同，这种失去带来的巨大变化对我来说非常痛苦。我试图重新找回曾经的父亲，从而开始了这种痴迷。而且，作为一个青少年，我正在尝试毒品，我进入墨西哥并做出这些非常不负责任的事情，这种表现在真正地自我毁灭。所以我把墨西哥视为探索父亲的方式。他向我灌输了我对新闻的好奇心，因为我相信，从某种意义上说，这种好奇心与驱使疯狂的冲动如出一辙。这就是智力的躁动。

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：你谈了很多关于你如何看待成长，人们如何看待你的话题。但是，很多具有植入文化身份的人都知道，这也与你如何认同自我有关。那么，在这次旅程之后，你如何认同自我？

珍妮·格雷罗：我不觉得我有这种固定的身份。就像，对我来说，发现自我始终是夹在美国和墨西哥之间航行。我母亲来自波多黎各。就是这样。但不仅仅是跨越国家之间的边界，而且还在我母亲和父亲之间的界限，因为我的母亲，她是一名医生，而且她总是随时待命，严守规则。然后你知道我的父亲，这是非常反建制，有些人会说反现实的人物。所以，我的身份很大程度上是关于试图找到极端之间的界线。

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：在你作为记者的职业生涯中，你一直在美国南部边境进行一些令人难以置信的报道，特别是对离散家庭的报道。最近，我们也可以在《新闻时报》上展示你的作品。你如何发现了这个故事，关于你自己的家庭，你如何跨越边界以及你的祖先如何越过边界的故事，这对你报道这个故事的方式如何产生了影响？

珍妮·格雷罗：我认为有这种感觉，一旦这些家庭团聚，故事结束，最终正义得以实现，被分离的家庭再次聚集在一起，这是一个美好的结局。但是这些孩子已经与父母分开，有些情况下已经有几个月了，其中一些还不到5岁，这是一种持久性的创伤。这是我所知道的，通过与这些家庭交谈，他们真的希望获得心理健康服务。这是 - 他们的斗争还没有结束，因为孩子们正在出现一些行为，他们会做噩梦，夜惊，一直在哭，因为他们认为他们的父母还会被带走。

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：你今天与你父亲的关系是什么样的，你为此投入了大量的时间和精力去探索和理解？今天是什么样的？

珍妮·格雷罗：他最初非常关心它，因为他认为它的影响会很大，这会引起中央情报局的注意，并且因为他相信的东西。但是，当他意识到驱使我写这本书的原因时，真的，他变得非常支持。这件事从少年时我就已经不得不做了。他实际上出现在我在圣地亚哥的发起会上。看到他在那里我很惊讶。他只是让我不要告诉任何人他在那里，因为他不想让人转身看着他说，那是书中的父亲。但他在那里，他出现在摩托车上，站在前排。我，它对我来说意味着世界。

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：这是一个美丽的故事，无论是你的故事，你整个家庭的故事，还是后世。这本书名叫《症结：跨境回忆录》。珍妮·格雷罗，非常感谢你做客节目。

珍妮·格雷罗：非常感谢你的邀请。

1 memoir   

n.[pl.]回忆录，自传；记事录

参考例句：

• He has just published a memoir in honour of his captain.他刚刚出了一本传记来纪念他的队长。
• In her memoir,the actress wrote about the bittersweet memories of her first love.在那个女演员的自传中，她写到了自己苦乐掺半的初恋。

2 crux   

adj.十字形；难事，关键，最重要点

参考例句：

• The crux of the matter is how to comprehensively treat this trend.问题的关键是如何全面地看待这种趋势。
• The crux of the matter is that attitudes have changed.问题的要害是人们的态度转变了。

3 full-time   

adj.满工作日的或工作周的，全时间的

参考例句：

• A full-time job may be too much for her.全天工作她恐怕吃不消。
• I don't know how she copes with looking after her family and doing a full-time job.既要照顾家庭又要全天工作，我不知道她是如何对付的。

4 journalism   

n.新闻工作，报业

参考例句：

• He's a teacher but he does some journalism on the side.他是教师，可还兼职做一些新闻工作。
• He had an aptitude for journalism.他有从事新闻工作的才能。

5 depressed   

adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的

参考例句：

• When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
• His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。

6 aluminum   

n.(aluminium)铝

参考例句：

• The aluminum sheets cannot be too much thicker than 0.04 inches.铝板厚度不能超过0.04英寸。
• During the launch phase,it would ride in a protective aluminum shell.在发射阶段，它盛在一只保护的铝壳里。

7 doting   

adj.溺爱的，宠爱的

参考例句：

• His doting parents bought him his first racing bike at 13.宠爱他的父母在他13岁时就给他买了第一辆竞速自行车。
• The doting husband catered to his wife's every wish.这位宠爱妻子的丈夫总是高度满足太太的各项要求。

8 trauma   

n.外伤，精神创伤

参考例句：

• Counselling is helping him work through this trauma.心理辅导正帮助他面对痛苦。
• The phobia may have its root in a childhood trauma.恐惧症可能源于童年时期的创伤。

9 obsession   

n.困扰，无法摆脱的思想(或情感)

参考例句：

• I was suffering from obsession that my career would be ended.那时的我陷入了我的事业有可能就此终止的困扰当中。
• She would try to forget her obsession with Christopher.她会努力忘记对克里斯托弗的迷恋。

10 instilled   

v.逐渐使某人获得（某种可取的品质），逐步灌输( instill的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Nature has instilled in our minds an insatiable desire to see truth. 自然给我们心灵注入了永无休止的发现真理的欲望。 来自辞典例句
• I instilled the need for kindness into my children. 我不断向孩子们灌输仁慈的必要。 来自辞典例句

11 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

12 navigating   

v.给（船舶、飞机等）引航，导航( navigate的现在分词 )；（从海上、空中等）横越；横渡；飞跃

参考例句：

• These can also be very useful when navigating time-based documents, such as video and audio. 它对于和时间有关的文档非常有用，比如视频和音频文档。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
• Vehicles slowed to a crawl on city roads, navigating slushy snow. 汽车在市区路上行驶缓慢，穿越泥泞的雪地。 来自互联网

13 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

14 devoted   

adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的

参考例句：

• He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。
• We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。

15 initially   

adv.最初，开始

参考例句：

• The ban was initially opposed by the US.这一禁令首先遭到美国的反对。
• Feathers initially developed from insect scales.羽毛最初由昆虫的翅瓣演化而来。