摩登家庭第六季 第89期:为什么一谈到性就紧张

 Okay, I am technically¹ in charge tonight, so no one tells Lily where babies come from. 今晚是我当家，所以谁都不准告诉莉莉孩子是怎么来的。

I could not agree more. 不能同意更多。

I don't know why you Americans are so uptight² about sex. 我搞不懂你们美国人为什么谈到性就这么紧张。

Sex is confusing for young people, and she doesn't need to learn from two fuzz-staches who barely know anything themselves. 性对于年轻人来说是充满迷惑的，她不需要从两个胡子都没长全的小屁孩那里知道这些。

Excuse me, you might want to check my browser³ history. I've done some research. 不好意思，你应该看看我的网页浏览记录。我已经做了不少研究。

Oh. Well, great. I'm just gonna go vomit⁴ forever now. 真好，现在我只想吐一辈子。

What are you guys doing? 你们在干什么？

Nothing. Just talking. Not really anything. 没什么。就在聊天而已。没什么特别的。

Can we finish our conversation? 我们能把话说完吗？

No. Lily, I'm sorry, but if you have questions, you're gonna have to ask your dads. 不行，莉莉，对不起，如果你有问题只能去问你爸爸们了。

You don't know, do you? 你们也不知道是不是？

I do so. Uh-huh, I know. 我知道。我知道。

No, we don't. Right, guys? 不，我们不知道，对不对？

No, I guess not. No. 不知道。不知道。

That's embarrassing. Want me to tell you? 太丢人了，要我告诉你们不？

What? 什么？

Hey, that's why you asked if we knew where babies came from -because you wanted to tell us? 你问我们知不知道小孩是从哪里来的...是因为你想告诉我们吗？

Yeah, you're old. You should know. But you might want to sit down for this. 是啊，你们都这么大了，该知道了。不过你们最好坐下来听我讲。

I found a tattoo⁵ shop nearby. It has four stars on Yelp⁶, and it has military discount. 我找到附近的一家纹身店。大众点评上四颗星，军人还享有折扣。

Well, Private Dorchester reporting for duty. 二等兵多切斯特前来报到。

You are just so helpful tonight, Gloria. 你今晚真是乐于助人啊，歌洛莉亚。

You know what else you should do? 知道你们还该干啥吗？

Another idea. 又有主意了。

You should do mother-and-daughter tattoos⁷, like - like, uh, two halves of a heart. 你们该弄个母女纹身，比如一人纹半个爱心。

Or the moon and some stars. 或者星星配月亮。

Or, like, a bird and a rifle. 或者步枪配小鸟。

Oh, my God, let's do that! I mean, not that, but, like, let's get matching tattoos! I want to do that with you. 天啊，就这么办！不是你说的那种，但可以弄个配对纹身！我想和你有配对的纹身。

You do? 真的吗？

Yeah! 当然！

It could be, like, our special thing that we have for the rest of our lives, just us. 那可以成为我们两人这辈子最特殊的东西，只属于你和我。

And no matter where we go or what we do, when people ask us about our tattoos, we can say that they're from the best night of our lives together. 不管我们去哪里，或是干什么，别人一问起我们的纹身，我们可以说它们来自我们生命中最精彩的夜晚。

That is so sweet. 太美好了。

I mean it. I want to do it with you. Will you? 我是说真的。我想和你一起纹身，你愿意吗？

I can't believe this, but I will. I will. I will 'cause I love you. 不敢相信，但我愿意，我愿意。因为我爱你。

I love you, too! I love you. I love you. 我也爱你！我爱你。我爱你。

They also have piercing! 他们还可以做穿孔！

Enough. 你够了。

 

1 technically   

adv.专门地，技术上地

参考例句：

• Technically it is the most advanced equipment ever.从技术上说，这是最先进的设备。
• The tomato is technically a fruit,although it is eaten as a vegetable.严格地说，西红柿是一种水果，尽管它是当作蔬菜吃的。

2 uptight   

adj.焦虑不安的，紧张的

参考例句：

• He's feeling a bit uptight about his exam tomorrow.他因明天的考试而感到有点紧张。
• Try to laugh at it instead of getting uptight.试着一笑了之，不要紧张。

3 browser   

n.浏览者

参考例句：

• View edits in a web browser.在浏览器中看编辑的效果。
• I think my browser has a list of shareware links.我想在浏览器中会有一系列的共享软件链接。

4 vomit   

v.呕吐，作呕；n.呕吐物，吐出物

参考例句：

• They gave her salty water to make her vomit.他们给她喝盐水好让她吐出来。
• She was stricken by pain and began to vomit.她感到一阵疼痛，开始呕吐起来。

5 tattoo   

n.纹身，(皮肤上的)刺花纹；vt.刺花纹于

参考例句：

• I've decided to get my tattoo removed.我已经决定去掉我身上的纹身。
• He had a tattoo on the back of his hand.他手背上刺有花纹。

6 yelp   

vi.狗吠

参考例句：

• The dog gave a yelp of pain.狗疼得叫了一声。
• The puppy a yelp when John stepped on her tail.当约翰踩到小狗的尾巴，小狗发出尖叫。

7 tattoos   

n.文身( tattoo的名词复数 )；归营鼓；军队夜间表演操；连续有节奏的敲击声v.刺青，文身( tattoo的第三人称单数 )；连续有节奏地敲击；作连续有节奏的敲击

参考例句：

• His arms were covered in tattoos. 他的胳膊上刺满了花纹。
• His arms were covered in tattoos. 他的双臂刺满了纹身。 来自《简明英汉词典》