摩登家庭第六季第92期:我想有个完美的丈夫

 No, my god! Is that for me? ! 我的天，那车是给我的吗？！

Happy birthday, sweetheart! 生日快乐，宝贝！

Thank you so much! I love it! 太谢谢了！我太喜欢了！

Please tell me you didn't get a tattoo¹. 千万别告诉我你纹身了。

No, but talk to mom, 'cause she's trying to make me. 没纹，但你要劝下妈妈，她一直逼我纹。

Oh, it's so cute! Can I take it for a ride? ! 好酷炫！我能开吗？！

Of course! 当然！

When I grow up, I want to have kids. 我长大以后，也想有孩子。

You're not going anywhere. You've been drinking tonight. 你哪也不许去，晚上喝了酒的。

Only 'cause you made me. 还不是你逼我喝的。

What are you trying to do to her? 你到底想把她怎么着？

Well, first, I want a perfect husband... 不过首先，我想有个完美的丈夫...

How about you guys? Come on. You're gonna get your tattoo, right? 你们呢？快点。你们会纹的，对吧？

We realized we don't need one to be cool. 我们发现其实用不着纹身来变酷。

It seems sort of desperate. But yours is cute. 有点太渴求关注的感觉。但是你的纹身很萌。

Super cute! 超萌的！

Yeah....Someone who takes care of me. 是啊。一个能照顾我的人。

Ay, Jay. I'm tired. I'm hungry. Take me home. 杰，我好累好饿，带我回家吧。

Come on. We'll get you a big bowl of Loco-puffs. 走着，给你弄一大碗疯狂朱古力泡芙。

And then we're gonna make a baby... 然后，我们会生一个宝宝...

Oh, my gosh!... 好开心...

Which is easy. 生宝宝很简单的。

You just put eggs and tadpoles² in a glass, and the woman has to drink it. 只要把蛋卵子和小蝌蚪们放在杯子里让女的喝掉。

Then, the woman and man kiss and jump on their bed. 然后，男女亲吻，跳上床。

After a year, she pees, and a baby comes out. 一年后，女的尿尿，宝宝就生出来了。

Oh, my god. Okay, then. 我了个去。我服。

Now that Claire has a tattoo, I can finally get one of my own! 克莱尔纹身了，我也终于能纹一个了！

So, I've been trying to think of a phrase that sums up the way I live my life. 我一直在想一个能总结我人生观的金句。

I don't think small. I don't do things halfway³. I'm not afraid of taking risks. 我不会鼠目寸光，做事不会虎头蛇尾。我不怕冒险。

So, then, I was trying to think of the perfect place to put it, you know? 我也在想一个最适合纹身的部位。

You don't want to put it on a-a body part that's gonna wrinkle⁴ or -- or sag⁵ too much, and you don't want a place where...if you wear a suit it will show. 不能纹在会有皱纹或者下垂太厉害的地方，也不能纹在...穿西装时看得到的地方。

True. 对。

So, on my little back, I would put the words "Go deep," "Bang". 所以，我要在后腰纹这几个字 “深入”，“猛上”。

Think about that. I heard it. 请三思。我听出来了。

"Do it". No. All in. “上”。不行。一起来上。

 

1 tattoo   

n.纹身，(皮肤上的)刺花纹；vt.刺花纹于

参考例句：

• I've decided to get my tattoo removed.我已经决定去掉我身上的纹身。
• He had a tattoo on the back of his hand.他手背上刺有花纹。

2 tadpoles   

n.蝌蚪( tadpole的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The pond teemed with tadpoles. 池子里有很多蝌蚪。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Both fish and tadpoles have gills. 鱼和蝌蚪都有鳃。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

3 halfway   

adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途

参考例句：

• We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路，天就黑了。
• In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上，最忌讳的是有始无终。

4 wrinkle   

n.皱纹；vi.（使）起皱纹，皱眉；vt.使起皱纹

参考例句：

• This pair of pants does not wrinkle.这条裤子不会皱。
• Too much sunbathing will wrinkle your skin.皮肤晒得过分就能起皱纹。

5 sag   

v.下垂，下跌，消沉；n.下垂，下跌，凹陷，[航海]随风漂流

参考例句：

• The shelf was beginning to sag beneath the weight of the books upon it.书架在书的重压下渐渐下弯。
• We need to do something about the sag.我们须把下沉的地方修整一下。