TED演讲:科技并没有改变爱 为什么?(10)

 So we've created what I call this thing of "stable ambiguity¹." 这种现象我称为“稳定的模棱两可”。

Stable ambiguity is when you are too afraid to be alone but also not really willing to engage in intimacy-building. 它指的是你害怕被剩下来，孤独终老，但又不愿打开心扉，与人建立亲密关系。

It's a set of tactics that kind of prolong the uncertainty² of a relationship but also the uncertainty of the breakup. 这是一种策略，不仅会使这段关系的不确定性期延长，还能拖延分手的不确定性。

So, here on the internet you have three major ones. One is icing and simmering,  网络上将其分为三个阶段。一是冰冻期和温吞水，

which are great stalling tactics that offer a kind of holding pattern that emphasizes the undefined nature of a relationship 这是很好的拖延战术，它使人们处于某种停滞状态，在这种状态下，强调情感关系中的不界定属性，

but at the same time gives you enough of a comforting consistency³ and enough freedom of the undefined boundaries. 但同时能让你维持这段关系以及自由做出选择的空间。

Yeah? And then comes ghosting. And ghosting is, basically, you disappear from this massa of texts on the spot, 说的对吗？接下来就到了“幽灵阶段”。“幽灵阶段”基本上是指，你突然不再做出选择，

and you don't have to deal with the pain that you inflict⁴ on another, because you're making it invisible even to yourself. 不再应对你给对方带来的痛苦，因为你自己都掩耳盗铃。

Yeah? So I was thinking -- these words came up for me as I was listening to you, 对吗？当我在听你演讲的时候，我想到了这些，

like how a vocabulary also creates a reality, and at the same time, that's my question to you: 正如语言重现现实一样，与此同时，我也有个问题要问你：

Do you think when the context changes, it still means that the nature of love remains⁵ the same? 当环境发生变化时，你认为爱的本质还是一样的吗？

You study the brain and I study people's relationships and stories, so I think it's everything you say, plus. 你研究大脑，而我研究情侣关系，我认可你的观点。

But I don't always know the degree to which a changing context... Does it at some point begin to change... 但我不明白的是环境改变的程度-- 它是从某一点开始改变的呢？

If the meaning changes, does it change the need, or is the need clear of the entire context? 如果意义变了，需求是否也会改变呢？或需求本身不受整个大环境影响？

1 ambiguity   

n.模棱两可；意义不明确

参考例句：

• The telegram was misunderstood because of its ambiguity.由于电文意义不明确而造成了误解。
• Her answer was above all ambiguity.她的回答毫不含糊。

2 uncertainty   

n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物

参考例句：

• Her comments will add to the uncertainty of the situation.她的批评将会使局势更加不稳定。
• After six weeks of uncertainty,the strain was beginning to take its toll.6个星期的忐忑不安后，压力开始产生影响了。

3 consistency   

n.一贯性，前后一致，稳定性；(液体的)浓度

参考例句：

• Your behaviour lacks consistency.你的行为缺乏一贯性。
• We appreciate the consistency and stability in China and in Chinese politics.我们赞赏中国及其政策的连续性和稳定性。

4 inflict   

vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担

参考例句：

• Don't inflict your ideas on me.不要把你的想法强加于我。
• Don't inflict damage on any person.不要伤害任何人。

5 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。